I have an absolutely massive russian guy as my driving instructor rn

Whenever i get into his car i have to spend an embarrassing 3 minutes adjusting everything back into clown car proportions so i can fit. Anyways a couple lessons ago he had me do the same route over and over to practice and there was a dead seagull in the middle of the road at one point and to keep correct positioning on the road i was required to drive over its carcass like 19 times just goring this seagull until the 20th lap when my instructor looked at the seagull that now more resembled tomato soup than a bird and said "this time. you spare seagull" and so i did and then he said "incorrect positioning on road"

i bring a delicate and lost princess vibe to the function

Thinking of deactivating everything so I can focus on going insane

i just wanna do nothinggggg 😭😭😭😭😭 which is like what im already doing but i wanna do it in a way that doesnt actively ruin my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

older lesbian outside the bar: *lighting a cigarette* when I was graduating high school you were just a baby. isn't that crazy

me, understanding the passage of time: not really

when moana came out i lived near a movie theatre in a corner field where tickets were (still are) $3 and horrible pizza at the concession stand is $5 for a whole pizza, so that year i saw a lot of random movies alone. i was never a movie theatre person but for $8 bucks i was like sure i’ll watch a mediocre film with some mediocre pizza

the theatre was even on my commute to college so i’d be on my way home at 7 pm and like ‘oh i should stop and see the wolverine movie for $3 i guess.’

so anyway i saw moana and i loved it & recommended it to people but everyone kept being like ‘hey no one wants to see moana with me. you liked it, will you come with me?’

at that point it wasn’t about moana, it was about the hang out. but i liked moana enough that i didn’t mind rewatching it FOR the hangout.

my entire point here being that in one month, right before christmas, i saw moana in theatres Seven times.

so then my family and friends all fairly assumed i was obsessed with moana. so they all got me moana christmas presents.

i didn’t realize what had happened until i opened the third moana present. i was like did y’all get together to buy me themed gifts? and everyone was like ‘no? i just know how much you love moana!!!’

they all thought i was number one moana fan. i was like well i think the movie is nice LOL.

it was genuinely very sweet and funny. we re-gifted some of it to my nieces but i kept one or two things.

understand that i cherished the thought behind the gifts. but had i kept them all i would have gone back to my college apartment and made it into a moana themed bedroom. we still call that year Moana Christmas

i j