Good, correct. But— disowned? You from Chicago?

That's the Australian way, mate. We love the underdog. I, uh— I worked in Chicago for a bit. Someone got me into the Cubs, and I might not actually understand the rules of baseball but I will get shouty for the honour of the Cubs whenever it comes up. Even if I'm not actually involved in the conversation.

And the Yankees are from the Big Apple, and how many stories are there were apples represent evil? The poison apple in Snow White, the temptation of Eve in the Garden of Eden. Although, actually historians think maybe that was a fig and apples were used in art as a pun— never mind.

It all suddenly makes sense.

No, no. Don't speak the evil's name. It only gives it strength.

( A dramatic shudder for effect. )

So how come you abandoned Chicago and went to Virginia, when you’re such a sensible guy?

Alright, Sassy. Didn't know you were Navy, did I?

Gotcha. That's rough, mate. I mean, surely those lakes justify a submarine, or something.

( What a mental image, though. )

Better or worse than sleeping in the back of a tiny car, d'ya reckon?

I thought about going into the navy or the army, for a bit. Don't know that it would've been a good fit, but. How long have you been serving?

Not if it's my really shitty car from when I was in high school. That thing was a rusty oven on wheels.

( WITH BROKEN AIR CON but she being obnoxious already, so she leaves off that particular note. )

Holy shit. That's... wow. I'd make a crack about whether you get those special badges that some retailers give you for different years of service, but that's honestly impressive.

Oh, man. Do you have all the different state quarters? I really wanted to collect those when I was in the States, but I kept needing them for laundry.

( Well, now. That's an interesting course correction. She throws back her whiskey, takes a moment, and sets it down weightily. That's fine, that's fine that's fine. Give the guy space, let the subject change. )

Talk about bein' given no quarter, eh?

( That wasn't the best chill banter, was it? Curse the allure of the pun. )

( Dramatically, still - it’s a thing, apparently - she claps her hand over her heart. )

What did I ever do for you to hurt me like this?

Mostly it’s my Australian need to support the under-dog.

( A pause, and maybe there’s another point, but— )

And I love a team with an animal mascot, honestly. And— and uh— no, that’s it.

Famously. We like to think we’re scrappers, at least. The problem, but, is that we get heaps harsh on people who are achievin’ a lot as well. Real bad with tall poppy syndrome, yeah? But we’re just as shit to people who are actual underdogs and havin’ a bad time as anywhere else. Basically it only applies to sports teams we personally support.

Animals are the best thing about anything, I reckon.

I mean... we probably learned all our shittest behaviour from England, yeah.

( Not that she's full of anger, or anything. 92% anger is totally fine. )

Oh? ( Oh! He's actually leaving. Interesting. She smiles, a little bemused, and raises her glass in turn. ) All hail our animal overlords.

Really? Do uh— do you happen to know much about sugar gliders? I kind of arrived here with one. I've been doing alright, but I'm not exactly an expert. Just volunteered to help foster injured wildlife sometimes, y'know?

( A huff of breath as she weighs that up. )

In what sense? Because, I mean, first up I'm thinking it's a shitload warmer.

Two sets of eyes are better than one at least, eh?

( She grins, shaking her head as her confusing phrasing hits her. Another sip of her drink, before she clarifies. )

Yeah, yeah. I mean, people complain about Melbourne and Tassie being cold, and they can be, but not... not like this. This is brutal.