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For Sale: Three magic books. "From The Library of Jurgen Leitner." Unread – effects unknown – purchase at own risk.

The Song of the Sightless.

[Picture attached. A gray volume that looks velvety to the touch.]

A Monk's Guide to Gardening.

[Picture attached. A larger tome with dull and faded gilt edging. Shapes of leaves and branches are embrossed into the cover.]

Untitled Book. Covered in mold and mildew stains. Comes in a clear bag and with an extra pair of rubber gloves.

[Picture attached. It looks like one of those books that spent a lifetime in someone's basement or attic. It doesn't look disgusting but definitely rotten by time.]

Will go to the best offers. Cash, weapons, provisions and magical artifacts* are all acceptable. No refunds!

*Must not endanger its owner/wielder like a Leitner book.

[ooc: So Hardison heard y'all like Leitners so he put some Leitners in your Leitners. Meaning, he forged a bunch of them, probably using blood from the oversized critters and other nasty stuff. What can he say. He's deep into the Ultimate Conman spirit. The books are well-made but completely harmless and of course will have absolutely no pull on their reader!

Just some random fun with the Ultimate prompt but I'm also open to having this go south in some way! If you're interested in some bigger fallout or want to beat his scammer ass, hit me up at

caffettiera /o/]

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how much for song of the sightless

[Because those other two are screaming will kill plants, and he'd like to avoid that happening again, thank you.]

What do you have? Money? Supplies?

money
i can probably get supplies if you want those more

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[Martin is beyond furious. He's also not stupid enough to go snapping and snarling and just drive up demand for these because people are idiots.]

I'd like to see the books in person before transferring anything to you. Anyone can pick up a book and claim what you're claiming.

I have a month's worth of water rations for the lot of they're authentic.

And anyone can pick up a book and curse people. There is a reason I am not putting my name to this. I have seen what you do to each other with these things.

[Which is part of why he has no qualms scamming the 99% he's convinced will just use these for personal gain.]

We can discuss a simultaneous exchange but I am not letting you touch any of them before I have my payment and am way out of their range.

You're going to have to meet me at my house, then. I'm not hauling that much water in this heat for potentially no reason.

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[action]

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It would help if I had tracked this three-person thread...

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I can throw in a decent sword, some money, and some water.

[The video looks like it's out of whack, it's staticky and glitchy, as Lindsey and his bone accessories flicker in and out of the static, from the effects of his tattoos on cameras. Yeah, he knows that the Senior Partners might be watching him but for some reason he's feeling...bolder lately. Paranoid still, but strangely cocky and confident, after the Ultimate Lawyer thing showed up...

At this point he's not even trying to hide his identity with this suspiciously anonymous post, he wants them to know who he is. If someone tries to come after him because he has a Leitner, good. He wants people to know he has power and he knows how to use it.

As if his reputation will precede him or something...]

Edited 2020-07-05 16:48 (UTC)

[Oh, it's this asshole.

Hardison hasn't really forgiven Lindsey ~~for his face~~ for the bad scare and the concussion or assaulting him with a bag of peas. While their last meeting still ended on a weird truce, he will enjoy every second scamming the hell out of Skeletor Barbie here.]

I'm listening. How much is 'some'?

[W o w, Hardison, he can't help his face or the scare or the concussion and the peas were supposed to help and you're really going with the Skeletor Barbie again?]

500. And two jugs of water.

[Gotta start somewhere.]

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private

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private

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[Utlimate Conman, meet the Ultimate Betrayer. This can't go wrong at all. No sir. Of course, Varian doesn't know who this is, so maybe Hardison can take some small comfort in it. Maybe. In his right mind, Varian would stay AS FAR away from this as possible. These books have caused his loved ones nothing but trouble and in one case actual death. He's not in his right mind though, so here we are. ]

Seems like a poor sale to me. No guarantee with what the books can do. I'm not willing to part with supplied unless I know what they are.

[Ayy, a match made in heaven.

Hardison taps his chin as he reads. It's interesting to see Varian's name show up and he frowns. He still remembers those killer robot memories but the guy hadn't struck him as someone who would go after the Leitners' destructive magic...]

And I'm not reading them because I know that's what activates them. They are trouble and I want to get rid of them. I just want a little something for the trouble they are.

[Sure wouldn't. No sir. The books would be totally safe in his possession.]

In that case, surely you should be adding a little more on your end? It seems like you'd be benefiting more by getting rid of them.

Also, you could just burn them. If they were that much of a bother. Looks like you're just planning on profiting on something that might kill people. Not judging, just pointing out the obvious.

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You would willingly spread death and despair like this?

[How many ghosts will be made and monsters summoned thanks to this callous sale?

It's spreading anyway. We're being boiled alive. It doesn't matter in the long run.

[It's not true. Without the Ultimate influence Hardison would never sell potential weapons like these, hell, he used to stop people in his world who did stuff like that.

And if these were real Leitners? Probably not even Ultimate Conman Hardison would go for that. It's just not in his heart.

But the way he sees it right now, the only people who will haggle for these books after so many people already got hurt? Were probably after them for either personal gain, or worse - to use them for some nefarious purpose. Spreading death and despair indeed.

And Hardison has no problem scamming people like that.

That people might want to buy them to destroy them doesn't really occur to him.]

This place will torment us no matter what.

Death and the undead permeate this place. It reeks of pain and demonic activity and you would profit off such a thing. You have my pity.

[Ordinarily Richard would insist these things be studied. One trapped him in a tomb. But now all that matters is the death it causes. The unquiet ghosts scream in his mind.

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Who is Jurgen Leitner?

[Is this the most loaded question ever asked in Deerington? Possibly.]

[Who is Jurgen Leitner indeed???]

I have no idea. Not a Sleeper, as far as I know.

Someone told me he collected all these magic books. Apparently, they make you read them and then you and anyone around you are in for a world of pain. For some reason, people still collect them.

I found three of them but I don't want anything to do with them.

[Huh. Potentially world-ending volumes of text? She's interested, but more out of a sense of civic duty than anything else.]

I'm not in the market for the dark magic version of "There's a Monster at the End of this Book," but I can help. I'd be willing to destroy them, if that's what you're worried about.

"Effects unknown" is always a tempting offer. Untitled is even better for the shock value. Not even a little curiosity about what's in it?

I'm sitting on one of those things myself. Effects also unknown. Must have been really something to see Jurgen Leitner's library in person.

Not really.

I know a Monkey's Paw situation when I see it. If others want to get their minds and bodies horribly mangled, that's their business.

I guess. If he's even real and not just some stand in name for a giant demon or Satan or whatever.

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brandnewtech - 2020-07-17 02:56 (UTC) - Expand

Did you sell them all? I was ready to give you my best converse shoes.

[ he wasn't, he loves those shoes, man. ]

You drive a hard bargain.

What color?

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[He's not even bothering with being anonymous for this. What a surefire way to get Maul's attention on the network. His interest is perked up very, very high as he uses the voice-to-text function to type one out.]

Are you familiar with the weapon known as a the lightsaber?

[Oh man. He shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't and if the Ultimate wasn't weighing down on him he probably wouldn't even reply, he's not that stupid or suicidal.

But come on, man. A lightsaber is on the table right now.]

I have heard of them. Are they really as powerful as they say?

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Didn't know books were supposed to come with bonus material.
Saw a couple usernames I recognize on this post, so I thought I'd jump in and see what the deal is.
What's this Leitner guy's usual M.O.? What are the "known" effects?

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