Today they count love by likes Today I just want to have my word read. My loves immense I'm loved immensely. Repetitive and re-written Have to break it down for the weak and vague Still born kids brought into existence Still not living So sad and silly I judge my love on who notices me, my eyes. What's inside or what I've written.
She's tired of rewriting This is the last version of yesterday you will see I want today to last Nothing is guaranteed She's waiting on forever Scared shitless Never had a smile lasted We live in empty fates Our versions not correct Live less or more Do not forget our neighbors Today's going to be tomorrow Our lives are easily snuffed Never forget our fallen hommies We are what energy we put out I hope I do my job Dark carnival does let us all in I however want more She's taking over the void The nothingness is all around me Breathing gets hard My mortality is in question.
Distilled my integrity loaded with symbolism. Both cold and warm, ease me into the night. Do you ever feel so numb you breathe in toxicity just to come close to death? To each their own, for me it's all, everything and never just one. Simple is boredom, complex is wasted time. Please leave this dreaded bubble untouched. Sparkles, glitter the smiles I left behind. My home stationed with prairie dogs. My hell; when he left every time. Waiting for moments of pure electricity. When body and soul meet the wahl and his soon to be bride. This time I'll place my punk inside. My dreaded bubble will be our caccoon. Soon we will set your world on fire. Hope and pray your witness. I'm afraid I'll never be able to possess all I need to keep this passion alive. Devouring him whole while entertaining the masses.
every color fades, but not the color of her pain shes blue from years of broken feelings no one sees her, they only see her shadow shes breathing since its natural her hearts so cold, she sits in silence and her fingers grip on to the bed give her life meaning, drag the sadness out shes been fading for years no one cares or can help suicide is so forever nothing for her is forever options are gone,so she sits cold and alone forever remembering her worth equal or less than never anything more her poetry is rotten her words are moldy and her fingers are dying to express whats inside shes cold,shes so cold gripping onto the pen,the only way to escape children cant forget their mom so i hold out for them maybe one of these days my soul will be resurrected ill become alive without a pill three weeks today and i feel so numb not the right kind of numb though please remember me, give this girl a smile place inside her a heart one that beats to live not to exist im broken and so dead each day a pain to live through and no one sees the death inside shes destined to die.
I ache inside for you want to breathe you in and out though I don't know who you are anymore everyday a confusion your all that holds me here though I haven't recognized you in a while want to break all the worlds walls down searching for something like love and im so tired of looking for you when I give up it hurts more than, waiting for you so here I wait on something like this love like you and ill be here till you wake up too.
And he would always feed my feigning always had the right dose of my numb here I am all alone, bars are holding him in place im here at a standstill is he my remedy or the disease that eats at me each pill a pain put on hold and while im sober each movement feels like death; inside to out emotional to physical all the painkillers in the world are not enough and he knows he will never satisfy me but hes dug me a whole so far down hes just trying to find common ground And im waiting on his voice to tell me its okay to waste away drugged up in my numbness and he will never fails hes my devil with the saving grace face and im alone singing songs of despair and hes just a step away from death giving him his last kiss don't want to see him go and I want to live so let him go so I can stay so I can be what was meant to be I was not meant to be a worshipper of pills all my being wants to hide forever underneath my own eyes yet the moments im clean from them I see my reflection the devils holding me by my ankles and im not even trying to kick him away and he feeds my feigning and I keep flying reeling here he is the love of my life all the metaphors love, pills, god the fucking devil can you even see the difference im alive but hanging on by one pill thinking im dead inside brings bruises to my eyes I see the damage done to all and im the cause I want to kill the pain the but pain comes from being alive and all the songs don't keep me from the lust of the numb.. its a song never done.
dream, breathe, feel and become complete stop the negativity mourn the lost, do not dwell make it into art if it hurts take the anger, take the bitterness throw it out of the window so much of me is a mother now I fight to learn new outlets to release frustrated I think ive missed the individual I am as a mom I am destructible as a mom sadness is worse than sickness though as a girl especially as the girl I am all the things that take a person apart only help me create great art or help me dig deeper into others minds I am evolving once the girl in me and the mom come together as the indestructible force I am I will become a woman you will not dare fuck with.
Each days been jaded I have fallen down unable to pick myself back up every dream incomplete I am wasting away nowhere to run I am surrounded by loved ones yet my self hate is at an all time high when will I wake up stop this slow suicide it seems my addiction has taken over almost all of me my hearts the only thing that remains intact sick of all this pain and lies I want to be alive I am tired of trying to die.
in my dreams your so far away every time I scream for you to come back you run when I talk to you, you can not hear me everything is wrong, yet my hearts racing pulsing like its never felt something so fierce why is it you that always has me wired when you are the one who causes the fire I dream so little and when I do its you no one understands the reason no one needs to see what I see I am the only one who needs to believe in this love, in this soul-mate thing when your hands in mine when we connect, when we intertwine its only then I feel that satisfaction that inner peace, your it for me days pass and your far away yet my heart does not stray you own my heart and I don't try to get you out I know you deserve to be there as I also belong in yours God gives you one love one love that keeps you wanting more that's you wahl this is something we have little choice in so as these next few months go by and you start to feel alone just remember when soul meets soul ours are forever linked waiting on this twisted love to get its shit together so we can finally start over and live our happily ever after.
