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Dear Livejournal,

Please be aware that I am actually still alive. I know I last updated in October, so I felt the need to leave a little note declaring my state of living.

I worry that someone may read this years in the future, and decide that I actually passed away sometime around October 2008, when really I'm not dead quite yet. So take this as evidence of my existence in 2009. Thank you.

David Bedwell

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Something that vaguely amused me tonight ..

So I've not been working for a while now (long story short - former company restructured so I had to leave) but my mother's train company needs a temp this week so I'm going in for a few days.

Don't ask me why, but I had a suddenly brainwave - I wonder what notch I'll be on my belt now?

I got dressed and suddenly realised that my work trousers won't stay up anymore, even with a freakin' belt on. They look like stupid clown pants now or something =(

Good job I'm not going for an interview or something or I'd be completely screwed lol luckily my mum knows the boss and they're fine with me coming in casual .. stupid me for not even considering it, but I honestly didn't realise I'd lost that much weight.

I'll have to go into Bromley sometime soon and buy a new jacket and trousers - think the shirts are ok, if not a bit baggy. I was actually planning on wearing the trousers for the party (or parties) at Eclipse, so thank god I found out before really hey? Idiot.

It's weird, as I've always said I don't notice the weightloss and I really don't. I look at myself and it's just me. I guess the only time I've even mildly noticed it was when I was putting my photo shoot pics away in a folder the other day. Maybe I'm just imagining it lol but I think it was these two pics that made me see a difference:

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(no subject)


I can't 100% confirm this as I've not seen any adverts (yet) and I've not had a chance to go in and ask myself, but apparently the info came from a few Morrisons employees and others have popped in and confirmed.

Morrisons will be having a sale on their Video Games chart all next week.

DS games for £12 each.
Wii games for £15 each.
Xbox360 and PS3 games for £25 each.

One copy of each game per person.

Now they usually only have like 8-10 games in each console's chart, so it's not huge .. but it might be worth having a look :o)

(no subject)

Do I wanna crew C14 or not?

I quite liked not doing it at LFACC, but Milton Keynes doesn't really have much else to do.

It's the hassle of finding someone to share with as well .. I hate that :(

Decisions decisions.

(no subject)

It's been very hot lately. Not really nice hot, more icky sticky uncomfortable hot.

I think we're meant to get a storm tonight, which I'm looking forward to ^_^

Life seems to be ok lately. Nothing spectacular but nothing going wrong either. Sometimes I miss the drama. Is that weird?

I guess I feel like I wanna shake things up a bit. Not quite sure how, but I'd like things to be a little different.

It's funny reading different people's views on relationships - like some realising they're happy single, some missing past loves, and some getting married .. I guess you really never know where your heart is gonna end up in the future.

It makes me think about me though. The last couple of events I've been to, I kinda started missing having someone to share them with. I mean sure, I know I have a lot of friends at them, but just that one person I could tell anything to and wake up next to and all of that. 

Sounds kinda lame really, but I guess I think I'm truly 100% ready to move on and consider being with someone else. Not sure I'd ever have the confidence to do anything about it, but yeah I think about it and it doesn't feel weird anymore. I'm not scared by it. I guess I just struggle with the idea of putting myself out there after being hurt a lot in the past. I won't push it or rush it though - it'd be cool if it happened, but if it doesn't then hey we can't tell what the future will bring.

The weight loss stuff is still going well, and it was nice having some people be complimentary at LFACC. Even Jason, which was pretty random, but nice cuz it's not like he knew what I'd been doing etc so I guess some really do notice it even if I don't! I'm quite proud of myself for sticking with it though. It's been a very big change for me. And I do feel happier for it, but that's just one part of my life. I think it'll have a knock-on effect though eventually.