If you're going through hell, keep going.

( Collapse )

I WAS JUST VIOLATED BY A MOUSE.

I'm not even kidding. Mouse! In my pants! NOT ENOUGH WORDS FOR ACCURATE FLAILING.

*flail*

I'm at a friend's house, hanging out because she's ill and it's better to be ill in the company of someone willing to fetch and carry and offer sympathy. (Though mostly we've just talked all day. And eaten kid food, like chicken drumsticks and hash browns. And watched Knight and Day.)

My friend has three cats and a boyfriend. Both of these will be relevent.

One of the cats was in the back yard, doing cat things and being mostly ignored. My friend, the boyfriend and I were in the kitchen, hanging out.

"Oh damn," says the friend, looking out the kitchen window. "Blake's got a mouse."

Boyfriend and I -- being nice -- went out to rescue the mouse. Boyfriend caught the cat with an impressive flying tackle, shook the cat, and the mouse dropped. It bolted into a corner of the yard, very much alive, but clearly bleeding. We decided to catch it and see if it could be helped.

I got a cardboard box.

The mouse bolted, froze, bolted, froze. I stayed in hot pursuit, trying to herd it against a wall without freaking it out. Bolted, froze. Boyfriend yelled suggestions. I got the mouse cornered, put my leg a little too close for it...

AND THE MOUSE RAN UP MY TROUSERS.

UP MY ACTUAL TROUSERS.

It went so fast I almost didn't see it. I didn't think it had, at first, until I felt the brush of fur against the back of my calf. I startled and felt all over my leg, flattening my baggy jeans down. No mouse, no mouse... Maybe it had just darted behind me?

THEN CLAWS ON THE BACK OF MY THIGH.

I yelped and shot up, slapping at the back of my leg. Boyfriend shouted questions. Little claws went skittering up my thigh, towards my butt. I spun around, grabbed my waistband, started to yank my trousers down--

Realized boyfriend was staring at me. Realized several neighbouring houses had a really good view.

FELT LITTLE MOUSE CLAWS ON MY BUTT.

Thank god for briefs. It stayed on the outside of cloth, shot up to the small of my back, popped out of my waistband and went FLYING across the yard to vanish around the side of the house. I stared after it. Boyfriend stared at me.

"Was that...?" he said.

"IT WAS IN MY PANTS," I said.

He howled laughing. I danced a little jig around and slapped at my leg a lot.

MOUSE IN MY PANTS. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?

Title: Rank and File
Rating: G
Characters: Kakashi, Genma, Raidou.
Pairings: One-sided Kakashi/Iruka, Genma/Raidou.
Wordcount: 338
Summary: For photoash, who kindly bidded on my fic auction and wanted 'Kakashi considering Iruka as someone dateable'. Genma and Raidou just snuck in to get drunk and have mockery. (Ash, this is the first of two. Hope you like!)

( Collapse )

Skipped a day yesterday -- or possibly two days -- so I'll make it up with two today.

( Collapse )

Day 3 - your views on drugs and alcohol.

My views on drugs and alcohol are really... sort of non-views. Neither one of them plays any significant role in my life, so I don't think about them that much. At most, I'll enjoy a beer or two when I go out with friends -- but my tolerance for alcohol is low and I don't especially enjoy hanging out in the bathroom for the majority of the next morning, so I keep it pretty sober.

I'm too afraid of drugs screwing up my brain chemistry to try them. Schizophrenic mother, natch. I've eaten "special brownies" once and spent about four hours on my back watching a fan turn around a light, then went out with friends and hit one of them in the face. Which I do not recall doing. That pretty much put me off for life.

(I do, however, think marijuana should be made legal for medical purposes. It is hardly less addictive or more dangerous than the swathes of current drugs out there. Legalizing would make it a damn sight safer, too.)

Day 4 - your views on religion.

I think it hurts people.

Everyone's doing this now! I'm enjoying reading the answers.

( Collapse )

Day 2 - where you’d like to be in 10 years.

In ten years I'll be 33, and I'm looking for it. I want to meet my almost-middle-aged, grown up self. I'm looking forward to seeing what wrinkles I have, what my face is like, how my personality has changed. I hope I'll have been living in the States for a while by then, and that I have a solid career I enjoy -- maybe counselling, maybe teaching. Maybe something else entirely.

I'd like to get married, I think. But more importantly I'd like to be in a healthy, loving, sexy relationship with a great person, possibly with kids, and living somewhere awesome. Maybe a ranch. Ranches are cool. We could have horses.

And dogs. Dogs are crucial.

I hope that I'll be still be close to my friends, and writing with several of them. I'd like to get something published, either collaboratively or solo -- both are good! I'd like to do something usefully academic, like have a paper published. I think I will probably pursue a Master's degree, possibly in gender studies.

Currently, I'm looking more into my own gender-weirdness and seriously considering whether or not I want to transition. I'm already playing around with pronouns. I think that whatever I decide, at some point I will definitely have a reconstructive surgery on my chest. So I guess I hope that I am comfortably out to friends and family, and that I don't lose too many of them along the way.

It's all pretty up in the air. But I hope that, whatever I'm doing, I'm happy about it.

Ganking this from buzzruth, as it seems like a good framework to encourage some actual posting. Because my LJ is sad and lonely.

( Collapse )

Day 1 - your current relationship; if single discuss how single life is.

Single life is pretty much just life, minus a partner. I've actively not been looking for a significant other, what with my plans to move to the States (t-minus four months and counting!). Which I guess is pretty good excuse to avoid the drama of dating, because I suck at dating. I spend the first week of any relationship being neurotic and dramatic and jazz-handy with panic while I convince myself of all the ways it's not going to work. Then, usually, I get over that. But my life is in such a state of flux, I don't like the thought of mixing up another person in the crazy.

Which, thinking about it, is a lame excuse. But my genderfuckery and uncertain sexuality are all over the place and I don't know what I want out of a relationship right now. I don't even know what I like, right now. I guess I'm sort of hoping that once I move and get my life kick-started, I'll figure out what the hell I'm looking for. And then maybe I'll find someone who'll enjoy my brand of weirdness.

Ah, personal issues, where have we met before?

Liberated from nezumiko and beachlass.

Leave a ONE WORD comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more than one word. Then copy & paste this post to your own journal so I can leave a word about you.

nezumiko and I are in London! We're currently sitting in her cousin's apartment after a long day of trekking about. The cousins (married couple with the most fantabulously adorable kidlet) are on the desktop, Nezu is on the phone to American family members who've also just procreated, and I'm grabbing the opportunity to post before I forget everything.

Nezu's mac is weird to type on.

So far today we:

- Caught a coach at OMFG AM from Huddersfield to London. (I spent most of the six hours asleep.)
- Walked all over and got quite lost looking for our hotel.
- Got rejected from the hotel because guests are not allowed to check in until 2PM.
- Met Nezu's cousins and went to a restaurant by the Thames called the Riverside, which did excellent fish pie.
- Wandered around London and went on the London Eye, which was FABULOUS.
- Saw Big Ben and heard it chime at 6PM, also saw the Houses of Parliament, MI6 and MI5, the Tate Museum, Westminster Abbey, Downing Street, "the Gerkin" (a high-rise building shaped like its nickname), many fabulous looking hotels, and the majority of the London cityscape. Though we did not actually visit all of these places.
- Went back to Nezu's cousins' apartment and ate haggis and clapshot, which is 'neeps and tatties' with chives added, and watched very odd kid's TV.
- Listened to dad!cousin read the kidlet several bedtime stories and almost fell asleep.
- Planned to go see Wicked tomorrow!

And I have stolen Nezu's computer to write this, so I have to give it back. We're planning to head back to the hotel pretty soon. Hopefully we shall be allowed past the main desk this time.

Wish us luck!

Today I was diagnosed with a life-long illness and got a tattoo!

I enjoyed the tattoo a lot more.

The blood test results for the body weirdness I've had going on confirms I have PCOS. Which basically means I have slightly higher testosterone than normal and my body isn't hoovering my hormones out of my bloodstream like it should, so I have that excess testosterone hanging around, making me slightly hairy.

That's about it, really. There're some potential issues with future fertility, and I'm also more likely to carry weight around my middle -- oh, and I'm more prone to type 2 diabetes and a few kinds of cancer -- but that's about it. And if I lose weight, I'm pretty much going to have zero symptoms.

As diseases go, this one sounds like the best you can get.

ALSO, DID I MENTION THAT I GOT TATTOOED?





Excuse the crappy picture quality.

It says 'nil desperandum' which means 'never despair'. HAI, IRONY, I AM AWARE OF YOU. The font is called Bleeding Cowboys, the placement is centred below my left collarbone, and it really didn't hurt at all. I love it.

nezumiko also got tattooed, because we are a terrible influence on each other. :D

nezumiko has arrived without incident!

I picked her up from Manchester Aiport on Saturday, and managed to drive her back to my place without killing either one of us. Which, y'know, bonus. We pretty much vegged out and did nothing for the rest of Saturday, mostly because Nezu was jetlagged as all hell and I was lazy. On Sunday we had a Proper British Sunday Lunch at a friend of mine's house, which involved roast chicken and potatoes and stuffing and Yorkshire puddings, and it was all very excellent. Then we took a wander around a local graveyard, as you do, and went to see The King's Speech in the evening. (Truly excellent film. More on that later.)

And we wrote! Which was fun. :D

This morning (well, morning-ish, more like middle-of-the-day) I got up and called the docs about my blood test results. This conversation happened:

Dark: Hi, I'm calling about my blood test results?
Receptionist: Okay, just give me your name... Thank you. Well, yep, your results are back. It looks like your hormone levels are slightly abnormal. I'm told you were expecting that?
Dark: Uh. Yes?
Receptionist: Okay, excellent.

[Pause]

Dark: Do I need to see the doctor?
Receptionist: Well, sure. You can if you want to.
Dark: Yes, please. Very much so.
Receptionist: Okay! I'll book you in for Thursday.

I guess that means it is PCOS? I'm not sure. She didn't say which hormone, or what 'slightly abnormal' means. I guess I'll find out on Thursday.