Sarcasm or Suckage

Title:: HeartSong
Fandom: CW RPF/Supernatural RPF
Pairing(s): J2
Rating: NC-17
Warning:: sex, language, rock ‘n roll
Word Count: about 4500
Beta: inbetweencabs & sbb23 who went “Jared is a rock star \0/” and then didn’t go “WTF” at the rest of it. They are amazing & all mistakes are my own.
Notes: My artist le_petit_bazar didn’t flinch when I started describing the ideas in my head. Kudos for the gorgeous art bb – it’s what got my creative juices flowing. Go and lavish with praise here My Inspiration Oh, and all the ‘lyrics’ are mine. Written for spn_reversebang

Summary: Jared and the Voodoo Dolls are the best entertainment in town. They rock every stage they perform on and have gathered an army of fans. One look at Jensen Ackles told Jared that his world was about to be rocked. In every way.





Jared stared into the mirror in his dressing room. He leaned forward and carefully applied the thick eyeliner that had become his trademark.

A knock on the door distracted him and he swore as a dark line of kohl streaked across his cheekbone.

“Five minutes, JT,” Eric said and Jared heaved a sigh.

“I’m about ready,” he called back and wiped the eyeliner off with a Kleenex. He eyed himself critically. It would have to do.

He squared his shoulders and headed to the door. When he pulled it open, the girls were already there.

“We were just about to venture into the man cave,” Danneel said with a small grin.

“Alona made us wait.” Genevieve pouted and slanted a look at Alona.

“I told you he has a pre-game ritual,” Alona chided.

Jared had to grin. “You know I need my space, ladies.”

Danneel made a scoffing noise. “We’ve known you since you were in diapers, JT. You don’t know the meaning of space.”

Jared shrugged. “Maybe I’m learning,” he suggested.

Genevieve’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t want to do it tonight, do you?” she asked.

The Dolls were always highly attuned to his state of mind. It came from being on the road, living in each other’s pockets. He was just grateful that they couldn’t read his mind. Yet. Jared nodded. “I’m tired,” he admitted.

“Should we talk to Jeremy?” Alona asked. “Get you some time off?”

Jared shook his head. “Just don’t let me make a complete ass of myself out there, okay?” He turned his smile on each of them. None of them smiled back.

“I’m going to talk to Jeremy,” Danneel said. “You haven’t had a break in months.”

Jared put a hand up. “It’s my job, Danni,” he said. “I’m good.”

“You look like shit,” Alona told him.

Jared wagged a finger at her. “Don’t let your boss hear you talking like that, young lady.”

Alona rolled her eyes. “Please,” she scoffed. “I can take her.”

“Take who?” Jared tried not to laugh at the expression on Alona’s face when she heard the voice behind her. He wasn’t very successful as he watched Alona turn to face Kim.

“Danneel.” Alona lied with a straight face. “Arm wrestling contest.”

Kim looked sceptical but all she did was nod. She met Jared’s gaze. “You ready?” she asked.

Jared rolled his shoulders. “Yeah,” he said. “Where did you put the client?”

“Front row, center stage. Green eyes and a red shirt,” Kim said, and her eyes turned kind. “It’s going to be a tough one.”

Jared squared his shoulders. “I’ve read the file. I can handle it.”

Kim patted his cheek. “Sweetie, I know you can handle it. I wouldn’t have given you the assignment if I thought you couldn’t.”

Jared picked up his jacket. “Let’s do this.” They stood for a moment in a huddle, shoulders touching and sharing energy. Then they broke and Jared followed the Dolls onstage.

It was a startling crash of noise and colour and light and Jared blinked to let his senses become accustomed to it. The crowd was screaming and the Dolls were feeding off the frenzy, spinning across the stage.

Jared stepped up to the mic and cleared his throat. The silence was instant.

“So, how’s it going, Austin?” he asked and the shouting started again. He held up a hand. “Have all y’all met my Dolls?” he pointed a thumb at Danneel, Genevieve and Alona. Redhead, brunette and blonde: all gorgeous, all powerful in their own unique ways.

“Danni plays my bass,” Jared said and grinned at the laughter. “Hey now, let’s keep it clean.”

Danneel bowed and moved to her spot to Jared’s right.

He held a hand out to Genevieve. “Ya’ll know that Gen is my keyboard queen,” and led her to his left.

“And Alona” - the crowd roared - “well, she’s my resident pain-in-the-ass drummer.”

Alona rolled her eyes but allowed him to help her up to the drum set, slightly elevated behind him.

“In case you didn’t know, I’m Jared and these are the Voodoo Dolls, and we’re here to rock your town!”

Danni played the first beats of “Stop” on the bass and Jared hit the first chords on his guitar.

“Stop telling me what to say
Stop telling me what to do
Stop showing me how to dress
My master isn’t you.”

The crowd picked up the chorus:

“I’ll try to live apart
I’ll try to stop loving you
I’ll try to heal my heart
If it’s the last thing I ever do.”

The Dolls leaned into their mics and sang the second verse, keeping it soft and sweet.

“Stop making me go your way
Stop trying to make me new
Stop saying you won’t betray me
I’ll never believe it’s true.”

They pounded out the chorus, louder, determined, almost angry and Jared could feel his entire body reacting. The crowd chanted along with them.

He screamed the third verse into the mic, every muscle tense.

“Stop storing your love in ice
Stop keeping your heart from me
Stop trying to be my friend
That’s the last thing you’ll ever be!”

The chorus rang out once more, defiant, determined.

The Dolls joined him on the last verse, their combined power this massive thing that bound them. Jared felt their energy link to his and he began to weave his first touch.

“Stop trying to make me stay
Stop holding my heart in fear
Stop lying at every turn
The time to leave is here!”

As they sang the chorus for the final time, Jared let his gaze drop to the front row. He searched for the red shirt that Kim had told him about. When he met bright green eyes, he forgot to breathe. If he hadn’t been able to play the song blindfolded, he’d have made a complete ass of himself.

The guy was gorgeous. Heart-stopping, drop-dead, write-home-and-tell-your-mama gorgeous.

Well, fuck.

He saw Danni look over at him in concern. He shook his head and played the last chords of the song.

“Was that good for you?” he called.

The crowd roared its approval and he leaned in. “Let’s slow it down a little, shall we?”

Gen played the first few notes of “If I Could”. A hush spread through the auditorium as Jared crooned the words into the microphone.

“If I could paint a picture, it would be only you
Your smile, your eyes, your laughter. All the things that make you true,”

He let his eyes go back to his target and tried to remember the name on the file. Ackles, Jensen Ackles, his memory finally kicked in.

“If I could sing a love song, it would be of your heart
That you share with me each day in every single part.”

The music was an extension of him and the soft, slow melody soared out through the air and touched the hearts of everyone listening.

Jared let the song take over.

“If I could write a sonnet, I would describe your love
That shimmers with the colors of feeling from above.”

The words twisted around each other and curled back into themselves, knitting a mesh of power. Jared looked at Jensen Ackles again and allowed himself a smile.

“And as I dream of these things and hope that dreams are true
I pray that all the goodness of life will come to you.”

The last note hung in the air like a promise and Jared watched the spell hover over Jensen and then drop like a stone. Jared saw when the spell sank into Jensen. He watched Jensen suck in a startled breath and his green eyes went wide with confusion as he met Jared’s gaze.

Jared allowed himself a small nod and then he felt his body shudder. It was only the first of the spell-songs he’d be using tonight but his muscles ached already. Kim had been right. This was going to be a tough one.

“You okay?” Danni sauntered casually closer and ran a hand over Jared’s face. She plastered on a smile but her eyes were soft with concern.

“Yeah,” Jared said, nodding. She looked out over the crowd, seeking out their objective

“Holy shit,” she whispered when she spotted Jensen Ackles.

“Yeah.” Jared shook his head. “Yeah.”

Jared stepped forward and whispered into the mic, “I’m here for you.”

The crowd surged forward, a living, breathing sea of humanity reaching out for him. Jared wanted to throw himself in, let their power sustain him, let their love raise him up.

But he held up one hand. “Are you here for me?” he asked.

The shouted response sent shivers through his body, sent his blood pounding through his veins. ”YES!” they screamed and Gen played the opening bars of “Dreamtime.”

The plaintive melody trickled through the auditorium and Jared closed his eyes as he reached out to Jensen with his mind. The crowd fell silent again, bound by the music, bound by the magic.

“Always dreaming of a time when pain dissolves to light
Where hearts are never broken and love’s endless delight.”

He felt the first tentative touch of Jensen’s consciousness, helped by the binding spell he’d spun through the previous song. He encouraged the curious soul to come forward with careful words.

“I’m calling for a moment when hope turns dreams to truth
Where children’s happy laughter are the only sounds of youth”

He smiled as he felt the heat of Jensen’s presence in his mind. It was violet and gold and tinged with green. It was the most beautiful soul he’d ever felt.

”Hi,” he whispered to Jensen’s spirit.

There was a moment of fear and then the gold melted into the green, and Jared was welcomed into an ocean of purple and violet and lavender.

”Hi,” Jensen replied, sounding a little intrigued.

Jared wove his spell while he continued singing.

“Is there perhaps a heartbeat where peace is ever there
And God’s ear is turned always to every humble prayer?”

”I’m Jared,” he greeted.

”I know,” Jensen’s reply was laced with dark silver irony and Jared had to control the laugh that threatened to bubble up.

”So, do a lot of guys hit on you using mental telepathy?” Jared asked, curious at how Jensen seemed to be taking this all in stride. As though he had telepathic conversations every day.

”My grandfather was a Hexer,” Jensen told him. ”I’ve met a few SpellSingers in my life.”

Jared walked towards the edge of the stage, knelt down and met Jensen’s gaze while the Dolls kept the cadence of the melody like a quiet blanket over the crowd.

Jensen stepped closer, only held back by the steel barriers in front of the stage. Jared looked to the wings and met Kim’s gaze. She’d known how he’d react to Jensen and she ducked back behind the curtains.

Jared whispered to Jensen’s mind, ”I’m going to heal you.”

And as the shock cut through his soul, Jared sang the last few words of his song.

“And if we get that second to make all dreams come true,
Will I be dreaming lonely or will I dream with you?”

He staggered as the song ended and would have fallen if Danni hadn’t been there, her slim body deceptively strong.

There was a collective gasp from the crowd and Jared fought the weakness off. He nodded to Danni as he stood on his own. “Sorry about that, folks,” his voice cracked a little as he spoke. “I guess I always forget how that song makes me feel.”

Alona called, “You’re such a pansy-ass, Padalecki!” and laughter skittered through the auditorium.

“Bite me,” Jared called back.

“In your dreams, baby,” Alona grinned.

Gen cleared her throat. “Hitting on my girl again, Jared?” she asked and the audience howled their glee.

“Can’t blame a boy for trying, darlin’,” Jared quipped and smiled his gratitude at the extra burst of power the Dolls had been feeding him.

“Enough flirting, more music!” Danni told them and Gen started the next song.

The next hour and a half were a blur to Jared. He’d concentrated on the spellsongs, focusing all his energies on the increasingly pale face of Jensen Ackles.

They took their bows at the stroke of midnight. Jared was drenched with sweat, chest heaving from the double exertion of performance and magic.

He shook his head when Eric asked him if he was going to do an encore. “I’m wiped,” he said. “Need to sleep about a million years.”

Alona put an arm around him. “Come on, sweets, let’s get you into bed, okay?”

Jared stumbled a little, but Gen on the one side and Alona on the other steadied him until they reached his dressing room.

“I’ll be okay,” he assured them as they lowered him to the wide sofa in the far corner of the room. “You guys know what the spells do to me.”

Danni crouched down in front of him. “Need a little extra juice?” she asked, head tipped to the side.

Jared shook his head. “Nah, you girls were amazing tonight, really supported my ass in every way.”

Gen pushed his hair back from his forehead. “Your ass keeps us in Christian Louboutins,” she reminded him, not unkindly.

He lay back, lifted his feet up without taking off his boots and closed his eyes. “I’ll remember that,” he said. “Good to know I have my uses.” He opened his eyes again. “I’m fine, go home.”

Alona was the last to leave. She turned at the door and stared at him. “That guy tonight,” she began and Jared looked at her. “There was something different about him.”

Jared nodded. “He knew what I was,” he told her. “Said his grandfather was a Hexer.”

Alona’s eyes went wide. “Do you think Kim knew?”

Jared raised a tired eyebrow. “What do you think?” he returned.

Alona’s mouth twisted. “Of course she knew,” she muttered. “She’s a sneaky bitch.”

“Who’s a sneaky bitch?” Jared tried not to laugh as Alona got caught mouthing off for the second time that night.

“I am,” Alona told Kim and fled.

“You doing okay, kid?” Kim asked.

“I’m ten years younger than you.” Jared closed his eyes once more. “You don’t get to call me kid.”

“I’m about a hundred years older in experience,” Kim told him. “How’s the body holding up?”

“Need to rest,” Jared said, not even trying to be subtle.

“Fine, I’ll let you wallow in your man-pain,” Kim said. Her eyes were gentle. “You did good, JT.”

“I know,” Jared said and it was that simple. He knew what he could do, the things he had done.

“You know that you can’t help everyone, right?” Kim handed him a couple of pain-killers and a bottle of water. He drank them down gratefully.

“I know,” Jared repeated. “I’m just glad that I can help some people.” He met Kim’s gaze. “Did you know the target had a Hexer in his family?”

Kim nodded. “It’s my job,” she said. “And I always do my job.”

Jared sighed. “I want to meet him,” he told her.

“I thought you might.” There was just a hint of a smile in her voice.

“Shut up,” Jared muttered and turned his back on her, shoving his face into the soft fabric of the sofa.

“You have a type, JT,” Kim said. He could have sworn she’d pressed a kiss on the top of his head but when he opened his eyes to check, Kim was gone and the door was closed.

Jared let his body relax finally as the fatigue and ache set in. He hadn’t performed a healing spell like that in a very long time and it was going to be a while before he fully recovered his powers. But he was okay with that. Just knowing that the green eyes and slight smile of one Jensen Ackles was out there because of something he’d done, was almost enough to offset any weariness.

But sleep claimed him anyway, just about a second later.

He woke up with the feeling that someone was watching him

Someone was watching him.

“Hi.” Jensen smiled at him.

Jared reminded his lungs to work because it felt like the air had just gone out of the room.

“Hi,” Jared said. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Jensen shrugged. “Kim came and got me. She said you might need to talk to me.”

Jared wasn’t sure whether he wanted to thank Kim or tell her to butt out of his life. He sat up, waiting for the familiar bone-deep ache of spell fatigue. There was nothing. He wondered how any of the Dolls had kept anything in reserve to help him out like this. He had about drained each of them. And he really needed to call Kim.

He looked back at Jensen. “Kim brought you here?” It was taking a while for his brain to catch up with his ears.

Jensen nodded. “She came right after the concert. Told me to wait here.” He indicated a cup of coffee. “I waited.”

Jared swung his legs to the floor. “How long have you been here?” He usually passed out for at least a couple of hours after a concert like this, giving his system a chance to reboot.

“About half an hour,” Jensen said.

“Half..?” Jared shook his head. “That’s impossible. No way would I be feeling this good if…” He stared at Jensen. “You’re a Charger,” he said, finally getting it.

Jensen’s smile was tiny. “Guilty as charged.” He held out his hands. “I haven’t been able to do much since the tumor.” His eyes were a little shiny. “Thank you, by the way.”

Jared leaned forward, reaching out without thought to lay a hand on Jensen’s thigh. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

Jensen glanced down at his hand but when Jared made to move away, Jensen grabbed onto his fingers. “I feel fucking incredible,” he admitted. “That was some seriously powerful shit.”

Jared’s hand felt warm and he wasn’t sure if it was Jensen’s magic or Jensen himself. “I had help,” he said.

“The Dolls?” Jensen asked and Jared nodded. “I guess I owe them thanks too.”

Jared tried to pull away, but Jensen held on. “They’re my Focus,” he told Jensen.

“How did you end up with the three of them?” Jensen’s thumb was stroking down the center of Jared’s palm and it made coherent thought a little difficult.

“Alona is my sister’s best friend and she started as my First about ten years ago.” It was liberating talking to someone who understood the language of the Gift. “She went to college but found Gen as my Second before she left.”

“And Danneel?” Jared wondered if Jensen was actually interested in any of his Focus.

“She was my sister’s TA at college. She met Alona through Mac and then me and signed on as my Third.” Jared took a deep breath and felt his muscles give a twinge. “You’re pretty powerful yourself if you gave me enough juice to bring me out of my downtime in just an hour.” He looked to where Jensen’s fingers were curled around his.

“It’s the least I could do,” Jensen said and his voice was very soft. “I’d given up hope.”

Jared tugged on Jensen’s hand, making him look up. “It’s what I do,” he said, voice equally soft. “With the Dolls, I can hold the SpellSong for longer than most and the healing gets a chance to work longer.” He smiled. “I’m glad we could help.”

“So, how do I express my gratitude?” Jensen asked, and Jared’s entire body made some sort of shivery movement.

“Um.” Jared stared at Jensen. “You boosted my energy already, man. I’d say that’s good enough.” He was really not trying to see anything more into what Jensen had said.

“Seriously?” Jensen’s eyebrows went up. “You save my life and you’re okay with a thank you and a Charge?”

Jared cleared a suddenly dry throat. “I don’t do it for what I can get in return,” he said, sure that he was missing several cues.

“Why do you do it then?” Jensen asked.

“Because I can." Jared’s reply was a simple one. And completely truthful.

“Fuck,” Jensen said, shaking his head. “Beautiful and philanthropic.” He met Jared’s gaze. “A guy doesn’t stand a chance against that.”

Jared’s lap was suddenly full of a warm, hard body and his mouth was covered by a pair of soft, damp lips.

“You don’t…” he gasped into Jensen’s mouth. “I don’t expect…”

“I know,” Jensen said, hot breath against Jared’s ear. “This is because I want you.”

Jared brought his hands up and placed them on Jensen’s hips. “You don’t know anything about me.” He tried to will his dick to settle down but it had been a long time and his dick was really excited at the remotest possibility of sex.

“I know you’re a SpellSinger, which means you’re a healer. I know you healed me which means you use your powers for good. I know that three women act as your Focus which means they think you’re pretty special. Plus I’m sitting in your lap offering you all this,” he gestured at himself with a wicked smile, “and you’re trying to talk me out of it which tells me you’re a decent guy.” Jared gaped up at Jensen who grinned down at him.

“I don’t know anything about you,” Jared protested, trying one more time to get some kind of control back.

Jensen’s eyes gleamed. “I’m a Charger, my grandfather was a Hexer and Kim brought me back here to take care of you. Do you trust her?”

“Of course I trust her,” Jared said, and he tried not to laugh at the satisfied grin on Jensen’s mouth.

“So, either you can carry on arguing with me about our lack of knowledge about each other or you can get to know me a whole lot better.”

“That sounds pretty reasonable.” Jared smiled and pulled Jensen closer, rolling his hips a little so that Jensen could feel just how interested Jared was.

Jensen made a little noise in the back of his throat that was part gasp, part moan. “Stop fucking around then, Padalecki.” Jensen leaned down and nipped at Jared’s neck.

The sting made Jared jerk and his cock rubbed against Jensen’s. They both groaned. “Stop being so fucking pushy,” Jared told Jensen. “And call me Jared or JT.”

“Call me Jen at your peril,” Jensen warned and his fingers made quick work of the buttons of Jared’s shirt. “God, your skin,” he nosed at Jared’s collarbone as he pushed the fabric away from Jared’s chest.

Jensen’s touch was like an electric shock. Jared had never been with a Charger before. It felt like power and energy and light were just pouring into him. “That feels un-fucking-believable.” He lifted a hand and tugged Jensen’s head back. He wanted to kiss that mouth.

The kiss took them from highway to light speed in about a heartbeat. Jared pulled Jensen’s t-shirt up and over his head and shrugged his own sweat-soaked shirt off. Finally, after what felt like years, they were chest to chest and sighing into each other’s mouths.

“We should probably slow down,” Jared said, one last attempt at reason.

“Why?” Jensen asked. “I’m not planning on going anywhere.” His hands slid over Jared’s shoulders. “You’re hot.”

Jared grinned. “I get that a lot,” he said.

“Asshole,” Jensen snorted. “I meant that you have a high body temperature.”

Jared had wanted to slow things down, so he took the cue offered. “I run hot because of the magic,” he explained. “If you ever touch me and my skin feels cold, I’m probably near death.”

“Right, I forgot about that particular skillset you SpellSingers have,” Jensen said and his smile was slow and sly. “Now, how about less talking, and more fooling around?”

“That’s what the cool kids are calling it these days?” Jared licked a stripe up Jensen’s neck and moved his hand from Jensen’s hip to his waist.

Jensen gasped and surged forward, hands clutching at Jared’s shoulders. Jared took advantage and slipped his fingers into Jensen’s jeans, finding hot, damp skin.

“Commando?” Jared’s voice cracked a little as his hand wrapped around Jensen’s cock.

“I haven’t done my laundry this week,” Jensen told him and whimpered when Jared’s fingers squeezed his dick a little. “God, your hands.”

“You feel amazing,” Jared told him, working his hand a little further into Jensen’s jeans.

“And you feel really, really good,” Jensen said and kissed him, wet and a little sloppy.

Jared sort of liked that Jensen wasn’t so in control any more. He reached down and flicked the button of Jensen’s jeans open. “Can I?” he asked, and Jensen nodded as Jared pulled his zipper down.


“I’m going to make you come now,” Jared told him, keeping his voice low. “I want you to be loose and relaxed because after that, I’m going to fuck you and I’m a big guy and I really want you to enjoy it.”

The noise Jensen made barely qualified as human as Jared pumped his hand in a slow, regular motion. “I take it back,” he said even as he shoved his hips at Jared. “You’re not a good guy at all, fucking cocktease.”

Jared squeezed a little and Jensen’s body jerked once before coming hard over Jared’s hand and both their stomachs.

Jensen slumped forward, his forehead dropping to Jared’s shoulder. “Okay, you can have your way with me,” he said, sounding wrecked.

Jared felt his cheeks flush. “Yeah, about that…”

Jensen lifted his head and stared at him. Then stared down at the damp spot in the front of Jared’s jeans. “Seriously?” he asked.

“Hey,” Jared protested. “You’re a hot guy and it’s been a while. I’ll be ready for round two in a bit.”

“Sounds like you might want me to stick around a little.” Jensen sounded almost hopeful.

Jared lay back on the sofa and took Jensen with him, sprawling him across his body. It was sticky and messy and kind of gross, but Jared wasn’t about to let Jensen go. “How about a date?” he asked instead.

Jensen stared at him, propping his chin on his arms, folded across Jared’s chest. “You mean like dinner and a movie or something?”

“Or pizza and a game of Resident Evil,” Jared said.

Jensen’s mouth curved in a smile. “That sounds pretty great actually.”

“Can you play an instrument?” Jared asked.

Jensen opened his mouth. “A musical instrument,” Jared amended.

“Guitar,” Jensen admitted with a grin.

“Ever thought about a career in rock music?” Jared held his breath as he waited for an answer.

“I won’t be a Doll,” Jensen told him.

Jared felt his breath punch out of him in relief. He’d learned to trust his instincts and they had screamed at him from the moment he’d met Jensen’s eyes tonight.

“I’ll think of something,” he said.

“Seriously, Jay.” Jensen poked at his chest. “I won’t be a Doll.”

Jared rolled them over, off the sofa and onto the floor. Suddenly, the future looked spectacular. “Shut up, Jen,” he said and kissed him.