Sarcasm or Suckage

From: Preparation

PART TWO





The space sickness never went away.

Jensen had to swallow the silver bullet every morning and Jared made stupid jokes about it each day, the dick.

JD and Victoria spent hours with Jensen, teaching him how to control his robur until he could tear skin from a limb and then sew it back seamlessly. He refused to practise on Victoria though and then threatened to try it on himself, which finally made JD back off.

JD produced a terrifyingly real-looking dummy that he instructed Jensen to use. It freaked him out though. He was sure its eyes followed him accusingly when he walked away. Jared thought it was an awesome premise for a horror movie.

Jared was proving to be a quick study in Asarian hand-to-hand combat. Misha was an extremely proud teacher. Soon, Jared was regularly beating all of the men on board the ship, apart from Misha. It became a matter of pride for Jared and he whined to Jensen about it every night.

“I bet he’s keeping the really good stuff to himself,” Jared lay flat on his back with his arms folded across his chest, staring up at the ceiling.

“Don’t be a moron,” Jensen scoffed. “He’s the best warrior in ten thousand years, you can’t expect to be able to beat him after three months of training.”

“Hmph,” Jared didn’t sound convinced. He scowled at the silver ceiling. “He’s scared I’m going to beat him.”

Sometimes Jensen wondered if Jared would ever truly grow up. His competitive streak had only grown over the years they’d known each other. “You’ll never be able to beat him, Jay.” Jensen wondered if he’d ever grow up as well: prodding Jared to excess came so easy to him. “I mean, you’re Luke Skywalker and he’s Obi-wan Kenobi.”

Jared’s eyes narrowed as he turned his head on the pillow to glare at Jensen. “Are you seriously trying to piss me off?”

Jensen grinned. “The sex is always better when you’re a little worked up.”

Jared tried to hold the glare but he started laughing. “You are such a dick.”

“And you love it,” Jensen told him.

He was covered by a blanket of hot and heavy Padalecki about a second later. “You love my dick,” Jared’s breath was hot against his neck and Jensen tried to control his shiver. Any advantage given was cheerfully abused.

Jensen snorted. “Your head is growing, Padalecki.”

Jared waggled his eyebrows and licked his lips. “Indeed it is,” he leered.

Dissolving into giggles, Jensen lifted his legs and wrapped them around Jared’s waist. “You’re a giant dork.”

Jared’s mouth quirked and then he kissed Jensen hard. “Good thing I hooked you in before you realised that.”

Mouth a little bruised and cock aching hard, Jensen grinned. “Dude, you’ve been a dork since our first audition together. I fell for you despite your dorkiness.”

They kissed for a while, - long, slow, wet kisses that spoke of love and lust. Then Jared got impatient, like he always did, and he shimmied out of his clothes, waving at Jensen to do the same.

“Tired,” Jensen whined but he complied. “I just want to go to sleep.” His dick had other ideas though and Jared’s laugh was dark and full of promise.

“That’s okay,” he murmured and crawled back up the bed. “You go to sleep, babe, I’ll keep myself occupied.” His mouth was hot and he nipped the thin skin of Jensen’s hipbone.

Jensen jerked a little and clenched his fists. It had started as a game between them to see who would break first. They were about even. “Night, Jay,” he was proud of the fact that his voice didn’t tremble.

“Night, Jen,” Jared whispered against his skin and then licked the sensitive spot where his thigh and groin met.

“Fuck,” Jensen breathed.

“Eventually,” Jared promised and then his mouth was on Jensen’s cock. He sucked the head in, delicate, and cat-like, while Jensen tried to think about not coming. Jared swirled his tongue across the slit, lapping at the come that gathered there and Jensen wondered if anyone had ever died from an orgasm. He sucked hard and then swallowed Jensen down, noises coming from his throat that a porn star would have been proud of.

“Fuck, Jay, fuck.” Jensen sort of hated that he was reduced to babbling whenever Jared got anywhere near his dick.

Jared hummed around his cock and Jensen lost all ability to think rationally. He tried not to thrust up into Jared’s mouth but he felt so good and he was coming before he could stop himself.

Jared’s grin was huge and very smug when he pulled off. Jensen flapped a hand at him. “What the fuck ever.”

“My turn,” Jared announced and pounced. He wrestled a limp and satiated Jensen over onto his stomach and ran his hands all over Jensen’s back. “I fucking love your skin, you know?”

Jensen opened one eye. “You are so weird.” Then Jared’s fingers, slick and cold with lube were at his hole and Jensen gave up on talking. He would be embarrassed about the sounds he made later. Right now, he never wanted Jared to stop what he was doing except maybe to…yeah. That.

Jared’s cock slid into him and it felt like perfection and completion and love. He pushed back into Jared, felt him hot and hard inside and moaned.

“The things you make me feel, Jen.” Jared’s voice was almost a growl and Jensen felt him coming, hot and hard inside.

Jared was about as useful as a cooked noodle and Jensen staggered off the bed and went to the bathroom to get a cloth to clean them up. He made a half-hearted effort but eventually gave up.

“Shower. Morning.” Jared sounded drunk and he cuddled Jensen up against him.

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed.

“Love. Forever.” Jensen smiled at the soft words.

“Yeah,” he said again. “Me too, Jay, me too.”



JD woke them the next morning and his eyes were burning with excitement. “We’re here.”

Jensen was scrambling from the bed in seconds, belatedly remembering that he wasn’t dressed.

JD grinned and turned to leave. “I’ll see you on the bridge,” he called over his shoulder.

“That fucker was totally checking you out!” Jared sounded scandalised and Jensen laughed.

Jensen headed to the bathroom and stepped into the shower tube. It had taken them both a while to get used to the dry showers. Jared still whined about no shower sex but JD had explained that water was a precious commodity on Asar and that people would, and had killed, for it.

“He was not!” Jensen called back. “He’s married to the cause.”

“Fucking JD,” Jared muttered, coming into the bathroom. As he picked up the laser toothbrush, he pointed it at Jensen. “He wants your ass, mark my words.”

“So marry me and protect me from all the lechers like him,” Jensen nudged him away from the mirror and slid the palm of his hand down his face. The small growth of beard vanished beneath the scything heat of his hand.

“So cool,” Jared whispered and leaned in to rub his rough cheek against Jensen’s smooth one. “I could sell you for millions back home.”

Jensen smoothed his hand down Jared’s cheeks too and the power of carnem flowed like silk from his palms and took the stubble from Jared’s skin. “You’re welcome,” he grinned.

“Show-off,” Jared grumbled and stepped into the shower tube while Jensen brushed his teeth.

He headed out to the bedroom and went to the small cupboard. “Jay?” Jensen pulled on the comfortable flight suit that they all wore when on deck. His was a dark black-red that JD had told him was his family colour.

“Yeah?” Jared came out of the bathroom and Jensen took a moment to admire the broad shoulders and slim hips. Everything above, below and in between them was pretty gorgeous too.

“What if we lose?”

Jared walked up to Jensen and his big hands cupped Jensen’s face. “We won’t,” he said. “We’ve got you and JD and Misha and Victoria. We’re going to win this thing.”

Jensen nodded and pressed his forehead against Jared’s chest. “And then?”

“What do you mean, and then?” Jared stepped back and then pulled on his own suit. JD had told him that the midnight blue was Misha’s family colour. Jared had kind of liked that.

Jensen hadn’t. Jared should have been wearing his colours. Misha had just looked at him and told him, “Only when you’re married.” Jensen had scowled, Jared had laughed and Misha had said nothing more.

“What do we do then?” Jensen sat on the bed and pulled on his boots. “Do we stay or do we go home, back to Earth?”

Jared sat down next to him, a solid heat against his side. “Dude, that’s a whole other worry. Let’s get through the coup and then work out what comes next. Okay?” He ducked his head around so that he could look into Jensen’s face. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Jensen nodded and he hauled Jared to his feet. “Let’s go and take a look at Asar.”



The planet Asar was a sad grey orb in the sky. Jensen stared at it with dismay. “That’s my home world?”

JD was shaking and Jensen wasn’t sure if it was with anger or sorrow. “Fucking fuckers!” He spun around, back to the screen as though looking at the planet was too painful. “Fucking, fucking fuckers!”

Misha and Victoria stared out at Asar. “I knew that there was damage, but…” Misha’s voice trailed off. “What the hell has Leonard done to our world?”

Jensen hurt for his friends. There was no emotional attachment to this strange world but he knew that they had missed their home. “It doesn’t look like much,” he said and felt almost apologetic.

“It was once a world of such beauty that all the universe envied us.” Misha’s head dropped and Victoria put a hand on his back. “It makes my heart ache to see the damage that monster has done.”

JD’s voice was very quiet. “Will you help us get rid of the one who did this to our planet?”

Jensen looked at him. JD’s jaw was tight and his eyes shone with unshed tears. “Of course,” he agreed and saw Jared nod too. “Whatever you need, we’re with you.”

“We will go in at full dark,” JD said and glanced at Misha. “Your mother is expecting us?”

Misha’s eyes were still on the remains of his home world. “Yes,” he said. “She is excited about seeing you again.” His gaze went to Jensen. “I’m asking forgiveness in advance for anything she may say. She’s had to live through this.” He waved a hand at the screen.

Jensen sighed. “I’m the son of the guy who did this.” He understood her anger. “I’d be pretty pissed at me too.”

Misha’s smile was strained. “Thank you.”

“Get some rest,” JD ordered. “Once we get down there, the shit is going to hit the fan.”

“How long until dark?” Jared asked.

“About five hours or so.” He strode off the bridge, anger and sorrow in every line of his body.

Jared exchanges looks with Jensen and they headed back to their room, Jared hugging Victoria as he went past. “I’m so sorry, Vix,” he whispered.

“I have to live with the fact that I left my home in the hands of this king.” Her eyes were dark with sorrow. “I will never forgive myself.”

Jared took Jensen’s hand. “Come on, Jen.” He tugged Jensen after him, fingers tight around Jensen’s. It felt like the only thing that was keeping Jensen grounded. Jared had been Jensen’s rock for a very long time, long before they had moved the relationship from friendship to – this.

The door to their room swished open and Jared pulled Jensen inside. “Oh god, that was about the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.” Jared sat on the end of the bed and looked up at him. “That planet looks like it has no life left in it.”

Jensen felt something twist inside him and he sat down next to Jared. “I should feel something, right?”

Jared eyed him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Jensen shrugged. “I mean, it’s where I came from, my birth home. But I don’t feel much of anything when I look at it. I‘m sad because it’s a world that’s been destroyed, but apart from that, nothing.” He worried that there was something wrong with him.

“Jen,” Jared took his hand and played with his fingers, “it’s okay that you’re not emotionally attached to Asar.” His face was very earnest. “Your life has been on Earth, your memories are of Earth.”

Jensen sighed. “But…”

“No buts, babe,” Jared interrupted him. “How did you feel when you saw the state of the planet?”

“Kind of angry for the people who live there, I guess.” Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes, trying to understand where he was leading him.

“I think that’s all anyone can expect from you,” Jared told him and he smiled. “You care about the condition of people you’ve never met. You’ve flown halfway across the universe to help them. I reckon that’s more than most would do.”

Jensen smiled at Jared, heart feeling just that little bit lighter. “So did you,” he pointed out.

Jared’s grin widened. “I came along for the great sex,” he said.

“Oh really?” Jensen murmured and scooted around so that he was straddling Jared’s lap. “Great sex, huh?”

Jared pursed his lips. “Well, maybe not great,” he amended. “I’d probably rate it as fair to middling.” He laughed when Jensen glared at him, lifted his hands and flexed his fingers. “No!” Jared fell backwards. “It’s awesome sex, stupendous sex. The best sex I’ve ever had!” He held Jensen tightly when he fell forwards, biting his neck in punishment. “I’ll bet it’s the best sex anyone’s ever had.”

Jensen laughed softly “You’re such a dork,” he muttered into the warm skin of Jared’s throat.

“But I’m your dork,” Jared reminded him, arms coming up and around Jensen.

“Yeah,” Jensen closed his eyes and listened to Jared’s strong heartbeat. “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you on this crazy mission thing we’re on.” He prayed to every god he knew, some he’d only learned about on the show, that he never had to find out what life was like without Jared.

“Just cut off the serpent’s head and we’ll be good to go,” Jared’s voice was a deep rumble in Jensen’s ear. “Once Leonard is taken care of, I suppose the rest will just be cleanup.”

“Mmm,” Jensen murmured and suddenly he was so tired he couldn’t think of anything but sleep. Jared’s big hands stroked across his back, soothing and warm.

“Get some rest, babe. There’s probably not going to be much time for rest for the next little while.” Jensen fell asleep to the sound of Jared’s heart.



They were woken by the soft sound of the door chime. “Come in,” Jared called as Jensen grumbled into his pillow.

“It’s me,” Misha stepped into their room with little of his usual energy and for Jensen, that was just wrong.

Then he saw what Misha was wearing and Jensen’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit!” he exclaimed. “You look fucking fantastic!”

Misha was dressed in a dark blue suit that looked like it had been painted on. He held up his hands and did a small turn. “You like?”

Jared and Jensen both nodded and Misha handed them each a folded suit. “Get dressed,” he ordered. “It’s time.”

They scrambled into their suits. Jensen looked over at Jared as he zipped his up and nearly swallowed his tongue. “That thing is fucking indecent!” He pointed at the fabric stretched tight across Jared’s thighs.

“What’s wrong with it?” Jared looked down and his eyes went big. “Oh my god, you can see everything!”

Misha rolled his eyes. “Come on you two princesses, we’ve got a war to win.” He turned and left the room and they hastily pulled their boots on.

Jensen kept stealing glances at Jared’s crotch until eventually Jared gave an irritated sigh. “Are you going to stare at me all the time?”

Jensen lifted his gaze and shrugged. “I don’t know, Jay. That’s pretty impressive, man.”

Jared flipped him off. “Fuck you, asshole.”

“In your dreams, Padacocky.” Jensen whistled as Jared left the room ahead of him. “Seriously, Jay, I can see your past, present and future in that outfit.”

Jared shot him a look over his shoulder. “Dude, you should take a look at yourself before you start with that crap.”

Jensen looked down and felt himself go red. “Fuck no,” he moaned and knew he totally deserved the cackle of laughter that Jared gave. “Shut up,” he muttered and scooted up close to Jared’s back.

JD was waiting on the bridge, dressed in a forest green suit. His smile was tight. “We’re about to start our descent.” He turned his gaze back to the screen on the wall. “One of our men has taken the sensors offline so we have about ten minutes to get down to the ground before they come back online again.”

Jensen watched as the ship dropped through the atmosphere, plunging through thick cloud and punching out into a purple night.

Asar looked a little less awful under the light of three small moons. Jared stood behind Jensen and wrapped his hands around Jensen’s waist. They were still pretty high up but plummeting fast and Jensen only caught glimpses of the world he was born on.

Then they were surrounded by mountains on all sides and the ship landed with a small thump. He barely felt it.

JD was moving before the sound of the engines died. “We have to make this quick. As soon as the systems come back on line, Abaddon’s people will know that someone came in.” Misha and Victoria were hot on his heels, West clutched in Victoria’s arms. Jensen hadn’t spent much time with the infant, mostly because the adult words that kept coming out of his mouth made him feel weird.

Jensen followed JD with Jared in tow. “What do you mean?” he asked as the door to the ship eased open and he looked out on an alien world. “I thought your spy guy had stopped the sensors?”

JD headed down the ramp and he spared a quick glance back. “He put them on hold for ten minutes. They still keep collecting data even though they’re off line so we need to disappear.”

Jensen decided that he was completely justified in freaking out for a moment. “You’re saying that they’re going to know we’re here?”

Misha flicked open what looked like a small mobile phone and pressed a button. “We need a pick-up at these coordinates.”

Jared put a hand on JD’s shoulder. “Answer Jen, man. Do they know we’re here?”

JD took a breath. “They will.”

The night was broken by a noise and a boxy shape slid down the side of the nearest mountain. It pulled up in front of their little group, hovering over the ground and a door opened. Two more boxy vessels slipped up behind it.

“Get in,” a voice ordered and JD was the first to climb on board. Everyone followed, spreading out equally across the three ships.

Jensen and Jared trailed after JD who went to the cockpit. The transport was a lot roomier inside although there wasn’t room to sit down. “Sitri.”

The tall woman who was at the controls stood and threw herself into JD’s arms. “My love, my lord,” she murmured into his neck.

Jensen looked over at Jared and a whole lot of things about JD now made sense. They waited for a moment and JD pulled away, keeping one arm around the woman. “Guys, I’d like you to meet my wife, Sitri.”

Jensen hung back for a moment but Jared’s old-fashioned manners had him reaching a hand out. “Now we know why JD wasn’t ever really into any of the women back home.”

Sitri smiled and Jensen realised that she was spectacularly gorgeous. Her dark brown hair was streaked with gold and her eyes were a deep green. “You have brought my beloved home,” her voice was husky. “There are not enough words to convey my gratitude.”

Jensen shook his head. “No ma’am, this was all JD’s doing.”

Sitri looked up at her husband. “JD?” she raised an eyebrow. “That is what they call you?”

“In this life,” JD ran a hand down the fall of hair. “Earth ways are different to ours, love. Things are considerably less formal there.”

Sitri nodded and then her smile went wide again. “Mastema, Verin! It does my heart good to see you once more.” Then she spotted West. “You have born a youngling?”

Victoria passed West to Sitri’s arms. “His name is Vetis,” she told Sitri whose eyes filled with tears.

“You named him for your father?”

Misha put his arm around Victoria’s shoulder. “Our father,” he told her, “He loved you like a daughter.” She clutched West to her, burying her face against him.

“I am not a baby, Sitri,” West wriggled against her and she released him to his mother’s care.

“I am overwhelmed,” Sitri admitted. Suddenly a loud alarm sounded and they all jumped a little. “I must destroy your ship and get us to safety,” Sitri scrambled back to her seat and started pushing some buttons.

“Destroy the ship?” Jensen and Jared exchanged worried glances. “How are we supposed to get back home if you destroy the ship?” Jensen watched JD take the seat in the cockpit next to his wife.

“There are other ships,” JD spoke without looking back at them. “It is better for us all if we lay low.”

Jensen was confused. “So they won’t know we’re here?”

JD still kept his attention on the screen as Sitri pressed a green square on the board. “Your father knows we’re coming,” he replied. “You told him as much when we left Earth.”

They all watched as a bright silver beam of light shot out of the front of the transporter, hitting the top of their ship. JD turned away, “It’s just a case of when and I reckon he’ll know shortly that there’s been a breach of Asar’s defences and his best guess will be you and me.”

Jensen and Jared gaped as the ship started disintegrating from the top down. It literally vanished, the beam slicing the metal into tiny pieces that blew away in the midnight wind. “That’s just…” Jared’s voice trailed off as the ship disappeared.

“Terrifying,” Jensen finished his sentence and Jared nodded.

“We must get going,” Sitri said and powered the transporter up. “Strap yourselves in please.”

Jared followed Jensen back to where the rest of the crew were standing. Misha showed them how to secure themselves by just leaning against the wall. The straps slipped out of the wall of the craft and wrapped themselves around their chests and legs.

“That’s just wrong, dude,” Jared leaned over to whisper to Jensen. “I feel like I’m in a bad movie right now. Every fucking trope in existence.”

Jensen smiled but it wasn’t a happy one. “I know what you mean, Jay.” He tensed as the transporter lifted off the ground and started moving. The sudden sharp angle left his stomach somewhere at the bottom of the mountain as they zipped up the side of the slope with no apparent problems.

“So, let’s break it down,” Jared suggested. “We’ve got an evil king, a people that needs saving…”

“A prince,” Jensen reminded him and Jared grinned.

“A handsome prince,” he agreed and Jensen groaned. “A handsome prince with special powers,” he amended.

“A small group of plucky freedom fighters,” Misha added.

“With a hinky plan and pretty much no chance of winning,” Jensen concluded.

“Hey!” Misha protested. “Trust me, we have a plan.”

“Okay,” Jensen waved a hand. “Tell us the plan. I’ve been waiting three months for the plan.”

“It’s a good plan,” Misha insisted and Victoria giggled. Jensen felt a moment of relief, enjoyed the brief camaraderie in the face of almost certain death.

“Not so much with the doom and gloom, babe,” Jared grabbed his hand and squeezed. “You’re the one they’re looking at to save them. They need to believe that you believe that you can do it.”

“But I don’t believe it,” Jensen kept his voice low.

“Well, you need to get on that train and fast, Jen.” Jared’s voice was hard and Jensen looked at him in surprise. “We’ve come so fucking far, babe. We can’t fuck it up now.”

His words resounded deep inside Jensen and it gave him something more. It gave him purpose. “I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” he lifted Jared’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. “You can be my princess, okay?”

Jared mock-scowled and tugged at his hand. “Fuck you,” he muttered but the tips of his ears were pink. “You’re the princess in this relationship.”

“Jay, I’m the prince. Which makes you the princess,” Jensen decided to prod Jared a little.

“Shut up,” Jared warned.

“Actually…” Misha spoke up from his spot against the wall, “Jared would be given the rank of concubine if he doesn’t marry you.”

“What?” Jared’s voice was high and loud, and Jensen started laughing.

Misha’s eyes were bright with mischief. “Of course, if you allow our Prince Samael to marry you and make you an honest man, then you will be called Prince Consort.”

Jared glared at Misha. “You annoyed me when I thought you were human. You’re even more annoying as an alien.”

Victoria and West giggled and Jensen tightened his hold on Jared. The tension in the transporter was dispelled at least.

“How long will this trip take us?” Jensen called to JD.

“An hour, give or take a few minutes,” JD replied. Then they were plunging down the other side of the mountain and Jensen hitched a breath.

“I have no stomach,” Jared told him. “I left it back at the top.”

“You and me both, Jay,” Jensen nodded and then turned his head to see if he could see anything of Asar as they drove. Jensen sort of wished that he hadn’t looked though. Asar looked like a planet that had been hit by several nuclear weapons.

“You would have envied our world if you had seen it before Leonard Abaddon became king.” West’s words drew Jensen’s gaze back to the child. It still freaked him out to see that keen intelligence shining out of those blue eyes.

“I’m sure it was beautiful,” Jared assured him.

Jensen kept looking at West. “Can I ask you a question?”

West’s small head dipped. “You are our prince. You may ask anything you wish of me.” The weirdly formal statement made Jensen uncomfortable.

“How come you’re just a baby and yet you can talk like an adult?” Jensen worried that he’d been too blunt. “I mean, if all Asarian babies advance so fast, then why didn’t I?”

West smiled and he leaned his head back against his mother’s shoulder for a moment. “A valid question indeed and one I’m surprised you didn’t ask earlier.”

“I…” Jensen shrugged, “to be honest, it didn’t really occur to me until now.” He felt a little stupid saying that. Months together in a spaceship and he’d never once thought about the oddity that was West.

“Asarian children age differently to Earth children,” West told him and Jensen frowned.

“Vetis is my child,” Victoria said. “He’s just a little more advanced than most.”

“I could talk from the moment that I was born,” West said.

“But you look like a human baby,” Jared pointed out.

“I’m their child,” West hedged. “Just a little more advanced than most.”

“The problem is that we do not age as quickly as humans so eventually our bodies would have given out. And our son would be alone,” Victoria looked at West fondly.

“So what did you do?” Jensen was now seriously curious. He watched the little family exchange glances as though unsure of how much to tell him.

“We transferred our essence,” Misha said eventually.

“You whatted your what?” Jared’s eyes were huge.

Misha took a deep breath. “We have lived several lifetimes in human bodies.” Jensen had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like what came next. “Our bodies aged on Earth but our minds, our being, remained Asarian and aged accordingly. West, born Asarian, was self-aware and talking from birth.”

“Okay, so what, you die and then get reborn?” Jensen was trying to wrap his mind around this.

“No, West is the only Asarian born on Earth.” JD had turned in his seat in the cockpit. “Our human bodies die and then we inhabit another body, find each other and live for a human lifespan and die again.”

“You possess people?” The true horror of the situation dawned on Jensen. “You take over their bodies and basically kill their souls?”

Misha shook his head. “No! We do not occupy a body where an essence is already in place.”

“What then?” Jared demanded and he sounded as sick and angry as Jensen felt.

“We find an infant at the point of death, wait for the essence to depart the mortal plain and then we fill the empty vessel.” West’s reply made Jensen shudder.

“I don’t know if that’s any better.” Jensen’s stomach was roiling.

“What is wrong with taking a mortal vessel that is dead flesh basically and animating it and giving a chance of love and life to the parents who would otherwise mourn a dead child?” Victoria stared at him, daring him to refute her argument. “In every case where we have taken a host body, a family has gained the chance to rear their child.”

“But it’s not their child!” Jensen protested. “It’s one of you!”

JD’s face was dark with anger. “Do not presume to judge what you cannot understand.”

“Oh, I think I understand it pretty well,” Jensen spat and he wondered how the camaraderie of a few minutes ago had descended into this. “You’re like the fucking demons we hunt and kill on our fucking TV show!”

“Take that back,” Misha’s voice was a low growl, chilling and Jensen was grateful for the straps that held him in place.

“It’s true,” Jared backed Jensen, white-faced and shaking. “It’s possession, no matter how you look at it.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us about this before.”

JD didn’t move from his chair, he just watched Jensen. “Ask,” he raised a dark eyebrow.

“Is this my body or is it one you appropriated for me?” Jensen’s tone was harsh and he saw JD twitch.

“You’ve got a fucking nerve!” Misha struggled against the restraints but JD held up a hand.

“It’s his right to ask, his right to know, Mastema.”

“He’s being a disrespectful little douchebag,” Misha’s angry words made Jensen flinch.

“He doesn’t know any better.” JD sounded calm despite being obviously angry.

“He is right here,” Jensen gritted.

Jared looked ill. “Is Jensen really Jensen or is he an ‘essence’ in a new body?”

“Tell him what you did for him,” Misha stared at JD. “Tell him what you gave up for him.”

“Mastema…” JD closed his eyes wearily. “It doesn’t matter to him. It shouldn’t. It’s why we did what we did.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jensen looked between them.

“The body you wear is the body you were born in,” JD said instead. “You have not lived any other life other than that of Jensen Ackles.”

Victoria sighed. “It’s only because Leonard came when he did that you have not died and been reborn.” Her eyes were apologetic.

“So, let me get this straight,” Jensen was trying to take it all in. “I’m only actually thirty years old?”

JD nodded. “I fled Asar many centuries ago along with some of my closest allies,” he smiled briefly at Misha and his family. “When I heard that Abaddon had gained a son, I returned to take you from him.”

“Why though?” Jensen still didn’t understand. “You were safe, he wasn’t after you. Why did you come back for me?”

Sitri spoke without turning her head. “Dantalion came back because Leonard Abaddon took our child from us so my husband took you from him.”

Jensen went cold. “What?”

“Our son, Labal, was just past infancy when Leonard Abaddon cleansed the planet of all of the house of Merihem.” Sitri’s voice was an eerie monotone.

“Love,” JD put a hand on her arm.

“No!” She turned her gaze to him and Jensen could see that her eyes were blazing with fury. “This boy accuses us of being monsters when he has no idea that his own father is the most monstrous of all!”

“That’s not fair!” Jared protested. “Jen hasn’t ever done anything bad to anyone! It’s not our fault that we’re in this fucking mess.”

JD ran a hand through his hair and slowly turned back to his place as co-pilot. “Jay, you’re the only human on this planet. Trust me when I tell you that you really can’t understand.”

Jensen bit his lip and clutched Jared’s hand so hard that he worried he might break a bone. “You can’t hold me responsible for my father’s sins.”

“No,” Sitri replied, “but I can and will defend and protect my husband. He risked much to take you from Abaddon and you will never know what it cost him because he will not tell you. I am not so discreet and warn you that the next time you question Dantalion, I will make the ground swallow you whole.” She sounded as though she meant it.

“Sitri is the First of her family,” Victoria explained. “Her robur is terram, power over the land.” Her smile was brief. “She means exactly what she says.” It was a very unsubtle warning.

“I’ve spent centuries, in hiding,” Sitri’s voice was low. “Never remaining in one place for too long. Missing my husband, mourning my child.” Her tone went bitter. “If you are not prepared to help us then you might as well leave.”

Jensen’s head hurt. He’d learnt more than he’d wanted in the last few minutes and part of him wished that he’d never asked West his question and remained in blissful oblivion.

“You were right to seek answers,” West’s words made Jensen look up at him. “It is better to have all the knowledge you need before you go into battle than be caught unaware.”

Jensen nodded. “I guess.” He dropped his head back against the bulkhead and tried to process everything.

“We can get through this, Jen,” Jared’s whisper made him turn his head. Jared looked concerned.

“I know,” Jensen replied and he did know. As long as he was with Jared, he could do anything.

The rest of the trip was silent.

To: Desperation