memoriacrew (
memoriacrew) wrote in
cyberformed2026-07-14 12:44 pm
Entry tags:
Ready! Set! BAAAAKE! (R2 reaction)
Who: Anyone on the R2!
What: Watching a Baking Reality TV Show
When: End of July
Where: The R2
At the end of July a Reality TV Show broadcast plays throughout the ship for anyone to see.
With its strangely familiar contestants disguised, you can only really guess that you might actually know these guys. For the most part, it just seems like a bunch of shellshocked strangers doing things they're not used to doing. Fun to watch though.
What: Watching a Baking Reality TV Show
When: End of July
Where: The R2
At the end of July a Reality TV Show broadcast plays throughout the ship for anyone to see.
With its strangely familiar contestants disguised, you can only really guess that you might actually know these guys. For the most part, it just seems like a bunch of shellshocked strangers doing things they're not used to doing. Fun to watch though.

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“Do you think he’s alright…? He looks on the verge of tears…” Qifrey asked to anyone who might be nearby.
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The exact moment she realized what the second contestant was making, she sat up straight in her chair and started gently but quickly slapping Qifrey's arm in thrilled excitement. "Look! Look look look!" She squealed. "He's making tupig! I know that! It's my dad's! Mine and Robbie's and dad's lola's and-!"
She didn't care one single bit that the contestant didn't do well making it, because he knew about it and had tried. The familiar steps and ingredients and intent were all there, even if the result wasn't up to the judge's taste. Hmph!
Still, Mo faltered when she saw how unhappy he was, too. "Oh... poor guy," she said sympathetically. His breakup must've been bad, and then the judge person was so mean to him!
Not on her watch!
Mo snagged her phone with a determined glint in her eye and went to the website scrolling by at the bottom of the screen to vote on their favorites, hitting a like under his profile and typing in a very determined, "The second contestant tried his best and still made something really special. He's my favorite, and I'm voting he keeps going to the next round! Full marks for passion!"
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Though... The familiar feeling, and Mo knowing what specifically what this supposedly random space alien was making, when Earth and human culture had been destroyed for many years? And Optimus, the poor depressed Cybertronian, being Mo's father figure?
Yeah there was no way it wasn't the same guy. But why on a cooking show...?
"Hah... Even if he didn't do too well this round, he still managed to get through it. That's certainly something."
second round reaction lol
She then sat back a bit, though admittedly she did blink a little now that she thought of it. A guy with mannerisms like that who recognized and knew how to make Pinoy dishes, while also having an awful break-up? Huh.
Huh.
Things moved too quickly for her to focus on after that. Everybody's stuff sounded good anyway, but then only a few people into the second round, Mo physically recoiled. The judge (who admittedly looked pretty creepy but was probably doing a whole goth things aliens were into) started getting really really mean.
Mo's excitement faded into dismayed confusion. She didn't understand this at all. "H-hey, why'd he say all that? That wasn't- he shouldn't have said that to her!" She said almost plaintively, looking between the tv and Qifrey. "He didn't even try it!"
She looked back with a deeply unhappy little noise when the badger person stepped up because she didn't want to hear the judge be awful! She liked him! But wait, had he...? Did he say he had an egg allergy?
Mo's eyes went even wider, and she gripped Qifrey's arm as her mouth fell open. "Wait. Wait. He- that's my tatay!" She breathed, unthinkingly drawing her other arm closer to her chest in awe as another smile grew there. "He's on tv... My tatay is on tv, mister Qifrey! Making stuff from Earth! From home!"
That excitement only lasted until the judge opened his mouth again, though.
Mo huddled a bit into Qifrey, her mouth falling before firming into a scowl. "He can't do that! He can't do that! I- I'm gonna write the tv show people a letter!" She said unsteadily, pulling her phone closer to start to type up a strongly worded letter even as angry tears sprang into her eyes. That was so mean! The judge was awful to almost everyone! That wasn't fair!
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He frowned as the show continued, with the judge starting to get into personal attacks rather than just comments about the food itself. Did people really like watching things like this…? “No, that was uncalled for. He shouldn’t have said that.”
He almost felt a little bad that Mo realized that the badger on the TV was Optimus. But if even he had clocked it with hardly knowing the guy, it made sense that Mo would pick up on it. The frown on his face only deepened when the young girl’s expression went from excited to crushed as the judge once again opened his mouth to insult Optimus again.
As Mo’s eyes started to water, he gently pushed her phone down before standing up. “I don’t think I care much to watch the rest of this show.” He announced, offering Mo a hand down from her seat, “Why don’t we go make a card to give your tatay when he gets back to the ship instead? I bet that would make him very happy.” Qifrey smiled softly. There was no sense in her sitting here and upsetting herself.
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The mint recipes, though. Oh gosh. Cheese and mint pastries sounded good, and sign him up for peppermint salt water taffy! But... uh... it's very obvious that both contestants that had them baked those in a rather rough manner. He'd still taste them, don't get him wrong, and A+ for effort! They shouldn't listen to how unnecessarily harsh the judge was, no matter if it was genuine, or just the reality TV show act.
But he still can't help but wince, Tails' ears pinning back. "Guess I'll keep those recipes in mind..." he mutters, because Chip knows he isn't not going to try recreating them just to taste it for himself. He knows well the little guy would have encouraged it, even; and the thought of the tiny god drilling into the judge, while eagerly consuming everyone else's efforts is perhaps the only thing that's making this watch a little more bearable.
He can sympathize and already feel the exhaustion bleeding through this single first round, otherwise.
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Such as sabotage.
He knew he saw itty bitty darting shapes here and there on the counters sometimes, usually shortly before something went catastrophically wrong, but the cameras never remained at that level long enough to confirm if there were frickin' borrowers or people from that island Lilliput from Gulliver's Travels scurrying around. He knew he was right, though.
"Keep an eye on that really edgy scowling lady," he added. "Somebody's cheating. Well. She could be too, actually, but not just her."
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Honestly, some of the contestants seemed like they had never picked up a pan in their lives. Too many people did, really, and while most of their outfits suggested this was a high-class event, how could someone explain the appearance of the badger that baked the tupig? That was someone of a lower caste trying their best, and being on stage like that only would've added to their humiliation.
The spider lady? That's who the kid was referring to, right? She went before either of the mint-flavored contestants, but Tails was a little busy already being infected by game show blues to properly pay attention. Then again...
"I doubt she actively is, from how she presented her end product. But now that you mention it... the flour spilling onto her the moment she lifted it was definitely not intentional, and I could've sworn there used to be ginger before it became onion and turmeric powder. Who even bakes red pepper flakes into pie?"
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Without lifting his arm from the bartop (because ow, ow, no moving his torso more than he needed to, ow), Dick gestured with a finger towards the bottom of the screen. "Some of the things that went wrong were just accidents and so on, but," he added with a smile for whoever sat further down the bar, flicking bright blue eyes his way, "not always. It isn't just her, either. It's a pattern. Every time I spotted something out of the corner of my eye on the counters that wasn't there later? Happened right before a disaster. That's what I've been watching."
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Round 2 starts, and it's when the camera focuses back on the opossum that he audibly gawks—right there! The flour and powered sugar! A little, tiny suspect shape! And then the oven wasn't working, next plates were scattered everywhere, and he can see the bites being taken out of each "cookie" live. Of course, there's the cascading embarrassment at one of the possum kids trying to gracefully point it out to the judge and failing, but one would know.
"I see it. And if production is keeping it in view, then post-production doesn't care, or this really is live, or it's both—they endorse the sabotaging efforts. None of this is fair to even begin with!"
Surely, there was a reason why something as simple as being able to go anywhere in this ball mattered so much, but the real goal was to make them all look like fools. Tails doesn't even care about how audible his outburst was, he's just mad that everyone, if not most in the production crew involved is ultimately a bully.
"The rats should really watch out, then..." His tails swish in agitation. "Both of them each had good scores that balance each other, and it's likely sabotage might be aimed at either of them next. The opossum scored well last round, and look at what's happened now."
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Almost all of the contestants had very clearly been surprised to show up, and with the judge getting progressively crueler as the show went on, he was getting more and more concerned. Not about the show just being terrible on purpose to get hatewatchers, but about the contestants' actual physical safety.
This was the kind of thing supervillains pulled.
Actually paying attention to the judge now instead of everything else, he hissed through his teeth. "Oh come on!" He scoffed, throwing up a hand, which did in fact get a wince because OW, but the supervillainy wasn't even subtle! The judge was a terrible four legged nightmare creature with a giant skull that had red eyes peering out! People had to be seeing this, right?
The judge's reaction to the clear sabotage even basically confirmed nobody cared! The hell!
...And he'd called that spider lady edgy, only to be echoed by that weirdo creep judge after. He barely stifled a wince cause, yikes. That didn't feel particularly awesome. In fact, it felt terrible. "Okay, maybe calling her edgy was a bit harsh," he muttered.
Not the point! He shook his head to get rid of that thought. "Do we know where this show is happening, and what happens to the people who lose afterwards?"
Also, who was that new judge, that the supervillain was scared of her? A murder grandma? Not unheard of, but...
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While the boy threw his hands up, Tails' expression just plain flattens at how readily the mic recorded the host's attempt at whispering off-screen. Fight to the death? Really? Okay. More people should adopt the blueish-gray rat's attitude when it came to admitting things, and there's a distinct thought that there would've been some level of respect to brazenly asking things on-camera.
He can't judge on appearance at all, nor can he dismiss Lady Frou Frou's attitude with this being his first impression, but King Jilly Juice was doing a poor job at defining subtlety. He's unsettled by her, huh? That in itself raises another brow that he'll keep in mind for later.
"The opening said some event called the Starlight Auction Ball. Seems like it's being held at some place called the Infinity Spiral in Drakkonvale." Without batting an eye, the Miles Electric is in his hands below, typing away as Tails remains focused on the broadcast, using peripheral view to his advantage. "Not sure what happens if they lose, since this seems to be a one-off show to the main ones. But either way, it's too late to admit any new guests, and we're far from docking at any planets.
"Everyone is admitted through their wristbands, the color of which determines the auction areas they're allowed to visit. That's why the prize of the black wristband seems so valuable, but... for what reason would any of the contestants want it? Is it even a good idea to win...?"
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He hadn't dealt with this stuff himself before, had only been living and training with Bruce and Alfred for six months, two weeks, and four days when he'd been plucked up from his life and dumped here, but Bruce had begun intense daily instruction with him starting on day one. Not that he'd been keeping track.
Or that he also knew that it had been six months exactly on the day he'd arrived since Bruce had officially been designated his legal guardian, and Dick had been brought to live at the Wayne Manor.Another shake of his head followed. Moving on. "That part's easy. Maybe a couple from this bunch would know who to scalp them to, but not all of them. With it being valuable for one specific, temporary event, on top of that?"
His mouth twisted. "They all have to have been at the auction already, and want unlimited access for their own reasons. Why else would they all want them?"
Dick just shrugged helplessly at the last question. "I don't know. Probably not? Ugh..." He grumbled, resting his face on the palm of the hand he'd gestured with. "Who are we kidding. Definitely not."
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"But for what reasons, in specific...?" the fox asks to himself, not expecting an answer. It wasn't as if they could saunter in and do that, and he doubts any social media profile of them would desire to discuss it—should any profiles even exist that he could track down. Something smelt fishy still, and a live program could only give so many answers. If they weren't allowed to kill on-screen, what would that say regarding off of it?
"Definitely not," he repeats, mouth on his muzzle twisting as Lady Frou Frou essentially suppressed King Jilly Juice into a shadow. There had to be some reason why he was scared of her, and the reaction of some of the contestants, well... They didn't imply good things, either.
She knows their names, and acts as if she sweetly knows them personally, for one. For two, here's shortly a grimace as Tails witnesses the sabotage on the black rat, but he can't decide on whether or not he should be relieved their score would be lowered, since winning wasn't optimal. The answer solidifies once she gives a suspect comment that visibly ticks them off once the ant turned around, something about owning a planet(?!) named Ekosi.
"A what you own?!" slips from his mouth, as he looks up information on what exactly are people thinking on social media. Surely there had to be some form of protest to how awful this was, right? Right?
...
A carefully crafted expression sits on his face, as his main focus flicks from the screen of the show, to the screen of his tablet instead. Especially regarding the times the camera was focusing on the moth, and now her judgement... debating on a scale like this? Bitterness surfaces on his tongue, while his ears pin back. This was none of their business. This should have been none of their business to even pry.
The kid doesn't need to know anything about this, as he opens up a blank file and begins typing in lines of code. Some people need to desperately learn what compassion meant.
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"Makes me wish we could actually eat some of that," he says forlornly. "I mean, you can do a lot with energon and additives and such, but straight organic stuff? Last time I tried I ended up in the medibay."
There's a pause as he looks up and over at Tails, squinting. In this moment Tails might realise Riptide is quite drunk.
"Oi, what are you, then?"
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The question catches him off-guard though, causing him to blink a couple times. Should he be around a drunk Cybertronian...? It should be fine, right?
"...Uh. A fox. Specifically, a—"
King Jilly Juice's voice suddenly booms louder from the TV, talking over Tails as he advertises his spacestagram.
"—fox."
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"Perfectly understood with absolute clarity." Riptide says with a thumbs up. "Them things they're eating actually real? Not just for the camera?"
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Well... um. He personally thought the screening got too loud to hear, but if this guy says so!
"Yeah, they're all being baked by hand... and I recognize some of these recipes. Tupig is a Filipino dish, savory bread with chillis is a standard one, steamed buns area regular in Chun-nan, salt water taffy is an older recipe from the early days of the United Federation..."
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"Huh, I'm getting some super deja-vu here," he says as he watches the unfolding chaos on the screen. "Is this a parody or something...? Spider lady seems really familiar."
He reaches for his drink, but it's probably just as well he can't spit it out once Jilly says something like "Yeah, okay, whatever you say miss edgelord." Probably doesn't make much difference as it upsets his balance, and for a good second or two he manages to hold it by the heel of one boot, long enough to set his glass on the counter...
-before toppling backwards with a clatter.
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Wait.
"Is she...?" He asked, looking back at the tv. "Wouldn't know. How many of these shows do you watch?"
Actually... he was getting déjà vu about one of the rat people too, but there was something about that one particular badger person player who did terribly the first round that stuck out, as well. Weird. Especially because-
Wait, rain check, that train of thought exploded at the station the second all of that happened to that very thoughtful person who'd been balancing so well before now.
Sympathy points for messing up a maneuver Dick himself had done himself so many times, including the messing up part. He didn't get up to offer him help but a) medical brace b) he was either a robot or somebody in a really neat suit, either way he was probably fine.
"Solid style points on saving your drink before eating floor," Dick told whoever that was, grinning at him. "You should be on one of these shows when it isn't completely terrible."
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"Nah, think I'll pass," he says after a moment, though not making to get up just yet. "Those things seem to get cutthroat no matter how you spin it. Gotta admit, this judge seems particularly malicious."
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He waited patiently, then snorted again, before making a face to indicate his own thoughts on the issue. "Huge creep," he agreed, "and I didn't even catch anything anybody said till near the end of the first round. Did you have 'influencer' on your bingo card for shady people? Or is that too easy."
He looked back towards the tv and made a sympathetic wince at all of That, which settled into an equally judgy face. "Uh. Maybe upgrade shady to 'should be on watchlists' or something."
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He tucks his arms under his head, folding a leg over his knee.
"That's probably just the general thing with parasite lords," he says. "Actually, I wouldn't trust anyone working on this show with that particular host and judge."
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Not all parasite lords are bad, like Rodimus. Though he didn't start as one.
Still, this King Jilly is a nasty looking alpaca and Rock felt like it was an insult to the kind skittish albiet spitty animals.
Oh that's probably rude to think.
"That's gonna stay an inside thought." Rock states outloud as King Jilly's face was on screen a little longer then it should be in his opinion.
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"No eggs? I don't think Snake would like this movie show thing."
He looked back at Rock to continue to chat at him on that thought, only to pause at his face and body language and what he said and also the everything.
"Rock...?" Heat tipped his head and leaned over to peer at his face in concern. "Are you okay? Did they have one of those things asking if you're a robot on the screen thingy?" He looked back at the tv but didn't see one, then Rock again. "We could change it?"
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"The host is kind of freaky and gross and mean. I don't feel like the contestants are safe... but if I look away I won't know who wins." Rock mumbles as he leans away.
"If it gets too scary we can leave." he adds as if this was a horror movie or was for Heatman's sake.
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He'd caught on to that last part, but that was okay. Flash asked for stuff like that sometimes, too.
"Just talk to me over the comms and look at my hands, okay?" He wiggled a finger to tickle Rock's palm and he turned his attention towards the screen thingy.
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He made a considering noise. "'He sucks more than a vacuum cleaner' is one option. 'More rancid than the docks on a really bad night in summer' is another. Thoughts?"
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Easthies wasn't the most social person and couldn't care less about most of the going ons around the ship. But there was only so much he could do without his usual job.
In the end, he was still human and when he notices a group gathering around one of those strange light screens, he finds himself pausing with mild curiosity.
The magic-- not magic, technology though he's still not sure how much he believes that-- in this place is strange and there seems to be some sort of... display of animals... making food.
"Why would anyone watch this??" he mutters, disgusted. It's bordering on blasphemy.
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There's a lot of common rooms in this place, but he's a little surprised he managed to find the one that had a group of people around the... t...v...? He's pretty sure that's what it's called.
He needs a dictionary on hand for all those times he's trying to remember a new word. He still hasn't figured out the tablet thing they'd given him at the beginning.
But all that aside, the tv is displaying a cooking show and Olruggio finds himself drawn to it. He nibbles on the treat he'd brought with him, frowning more and more as the round goes on. And then he hears him.
His entire face drops and he looks over. "Oh. You're here."