CULT UGLIE!

A.S.P.C.M. Plan Another FRIGHT NIGHT Protest at the Warner Grand this Sunday

Creeps and Imps Refuse to Give Up Fight for Their Rights

LOS ANGELES, CA—Citing the producers’ disrespect and the audience’s cruel enjoyment of all their hard work and low pay, (dis)members of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Monsters (A.S.P.C.M.) will return to picket the Warner Grand Theater at 2 p.m. this Sunday, September 6, in a desperate bid to improve the working and unloving conditions for monsters employed by the slave drivers at FRIGHT NIGHT.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re a scientist whose experiment has given you the head of a bloodsucking flea or if you’re a prehistoric fish-woman that lives on raw screaming flesh, the humans at Fright Night are going to work you to the bone,” said a Fright Night monster employee who preferred not to be named.  “They charge low admissions because they pay us so little.  Then they work us all night, when we should be out haunting and marauding.”  Asked why he didn’t leave the detestable job, the monster simply said, “What?  And give up show business?”

Human audiences (known to our monster readers as “foolish mortals”) seem to love watching these exhausted, utterly broke monsters and creatures working away for their amusement.  “They scream, laugh, and applaud,” said another monster, “but where are our pus breaks?  When do we get to completely devour an audience member?  Why can’t we bring our coffins lined with the soil of our homelands?   It’s not much we ask, but they won’t give us anything.”

One of the zombies that’s been on the Fright Night picket line the longest summed it all up with these poignant, heart(s)-rending words:  “Hhhhhhhhuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh mrrrrblllgggg… ccchhhhhaaaaasss…. Drblggb.”

We couldn’t have put it better ourselves.

The next protest of Fright Night will be at the historic Warner Grand Theater in San Pedro this Sunday, September 6, at 2 p.m.  Which side will you be on?  How will history record YOUR contribution to the rights of Monster-Americans?  Don’t be one of the oppressors!

An organization to protect monsters’ rights

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Monsters (A.S.P.C.M.) was founded in the 19th century as an offshoot of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Monsters (R.S.P.C.M.) and the Transylvanian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Monsters (T.S.P.C.M.).  The A.S.P.C.M. is dedicated to preventing the abuse of monsters of all kinds, from the smallest imp or goblin to the largest nuclear-powered mutant dinosaur or spacegoing nebula-amoeba.  Learn more about the A.S.P.C.M. and its mission at www.aspcm.org and get involved.  Even if you are a tasty, delicious human, you can still support our cause and spread the word.

http://www.aspcm.org

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