just kill me instantly

BDSM is an acronym for the members of the beatles. don't believe me? why

when youre inadvertently 1% too nice to a straight guy you can usually pinpoint the exact moment where he decides you must be acting that way because you want to fuck down on him crazy style and it is at this point that one would be well advised to have a cyanide capsule under a false tooth or an equivalent fast acting response

When nobody else was remember who was there for you at your lowest. That's right. Completely and absolutely dogshit music

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

I will create the world's first ontologically evil baseball team

Yankees beat you to it by like 113 years

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

ah! so you’re the grimey little pimp who i hired to bathe me in wet kinetic sand, are you?

Sometimes on the internet people will throw an abbreviation at you as if you’re supposed to know what it means and you’ll try to find out what it means but no matter what you do on any search engine all that comes up is some kind of dental supplies logistics company in Malaysia or something

Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.

i think maybe we could spend less time thinking about things that make us angry and more time thinking about other stuff

YEAH EXACTLY HOLY SHIT

oh my god hes perfect. replace the faces on us currency with him

perks of a fat boyfriend (silly doodle)

fat boy love

original image

(sorry Hitomi you can't say the n word)

fish sauce is kind of amazing if you think about it. what do you have there? extract of an animal entire

Finding out AI companies are chewing through - literally, they’re pulping and burning them as they go - millions of books often including 1/1s and old texts that cannot be reprinted

Meanwhile there’s always some dipshit telling me AI is the future and we’ve got to just let companies erase human history and literature so they can train their abomination machines to pretend to think like people because a judge said it’s fine