Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans. Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in.
Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.
Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.
Girls try to put a man 'on lock' by using sex.
Grown women know that it's the sex of the mental kind that makes a man want to 'lock' you down.
Girls fake-moan, lay there and take the stabbing.
Grown women say, "Just stop", get up, get dressed and walk it out.
Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it--using it as a time for personal growth.
Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.
Girls make you come.
Grown women make you come home.
Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man. Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.
Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e. don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special and goes to kick it with her own friends!
Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.
Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women show him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate w/o fear of losing his manhood.
Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.
Girls fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs. Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back and move on without bitterness.
Girls will read this and get an attitude. Grown women will read this and pass it on to other grown women!!
Sometimes you meet people and you think they'd be fun to hang out with. Then you become friends with them and maybe trust them a little. But as you get to know them more and more. Spend days and nights with them, you learn who they really are and what makes them tick. I have found that some people love drama. They need it to feel important, to feel as though everything is about them. They will say whatever they can to get arise out of you, and however you handle that situation is up to you. I think that i handle every situation the best that i can. Because sometimes, you need to be selfish and think about yourself first. Because in some situations, there is no need to argue. Let them be right, who cares, some people need that. But me, i will sleep well anyways because my attitude towards people who constantly try and guilt me is "whatever", "now i am learning a little more to your other side", so "okay". So do what you do, say what you wanna say about me. I like the way i am, and nothing anyone says about me is gonna make me think differently about myself, because at the end of the day, the only person i am trying to please is myself because every decision that i make, i will have to deal with.
I have come to realize that i put everyone's feelings before my own. I realize that this has made me very vulnerable in the sense that i will try my very best not to disappoint people. I have look back at everything that i have done and mostly everything that i have done is for other people. My new years' resolution is to begin to put myself first. No longer will i do things that i do not really want to do. I will learn to say "No", even if i feel bad saying it because, people are beginning to realize that i will not say "no" and i notice that it allows people to take advantage of me. I have heard many times by other people that i am just too nice and too giving that now i understand it and believe it. I had to take a deep look within myself but now i have learned. I have allowed others to anger me without me saying what is on my mind. I let them get away with it and not do anything or say anything about it. I would keep it all to myself and keep it all bottled up. I have realized that this is not healthy for me because of the thoughts that begin to build up in my head of what i should do. By keeping this all bottled up within me, makes me disapointed in myself, and i can not allow that. I have learned that when i anger so one else, it seems like the end of the world. They act as if because i said or did that they did not agree with that "i am a horrible person, and they can believe that i treated them this way". But from now on, i am going to give back what i receive from others. If people want to act as if they dont care when they hurt my feelings then i am going to do the same thing back. I am tired of getting the short end of the stick when i go out of my way to help someone out.
My new years resolution is to care about myself more, say "no" and not feel guilty, and not to care if i disappoint someone by saying what i feel. I am tired of being the "goody goody nice girl". It's time for me to change.
Just a few words. My coach quit and is taking a job at Fairfield University. I am very confused about my emotions i dont know what to feel or what to think or what to say. I don't want to be selfish but i think i should be on some level. Just some things to think about.
Well my cousin has finally done the stupidest thing in the world. i am going to leave this entry short and to the point. He and one of his friends decided to get in on with some slut in the auditorioum of the high school...Way to fucking screw up.
That's all i have to say about that, except the girl is fucking 14.
Well, I am back at school and back to writing in this journal. I came back to school only to embarrass my self pretty badly. I was going down the stairs behind my dorm and the stairs were covered with snow so of course I wasn't paying attention and I fall and slip and land flat on my back...it would have been so bad if this girl wasn't right there and was trying to hold back her laughter. The God no one important saw me fall.
Okay so the girls on the team decided that Tuesday would be the last time that we could go out and party for a long time because we would have to buckle down and do our work. So we all decide to go to this bar that is around the corner from us. Some of us didn't have ID's so this kid that works there was going to let us in and we would have the time of our lives just hanging out there and stuff. But it turned that we couldn't get in so we left the place while a few of the girls who had ID's and were of age stayed there. So the next day we find out that we are all in trouble. One of the girls on my team that went to the bar got sent to detox and so our coach was like if you went to the bar and didn't get in or if you went or even thought about going then i want to talk to each of you individually. so we all did that and he was like all right, i don't like what happened so lets just forget about it and don't do it again and I will see you guys at the meeting at three. So we all were really relieved that we weren't in trouble. So the meeting roles around and everything changed. He was like if you went into the bar or was outside the bar you are suspended for two games. And I was like this is so not fair because I didn't even go into the bar or anywhere near the bar I just stayed in the parking lot and I have the same punishment as the girls who drink. And I was so mad because it was so not fair. But what can I do now except accept it. So WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
Well today i played the most invigorating game i have played in my life. I had a good time playing. All my touches were good. My passes were good. and my team played exceptionally well. We beat University of New Haven 2-1. There goal was crap. They had a penalty kick that allowed them to stay in the game, otherwise the goal would have been 2-0. I am very excited for the team we have this year and i think we are definetly going to go places. I can totally see us winning the tournament. Its going to take a lot of hard work and preparation but i think we can do it.
Well time for shower and then bed because i have two sessions tomorrow. A session at 11. and then a game at 4.
Well today i played the most invigorating game i have played in my life. I had a good time playing. All my touches were good. My passes were good. and my team played exceptionally well. We beat University of New Haven 2-1. There goal was crap. They had a penalty kick that allowed them to stay in the game, otherwise the goal would have been 2-0. I am very excited for the team we have this year and i think we are definetly going to go places. I can totally see us winning the tournament. Its going to take a lot of hard work and preparation but i think we can do it.
Well time for shower and then bed because i have two sessions tomorrow. A session at 11. and then a game at 4.
What the hell, Today I was supposed to have a game today but it got canceled due to the weather as I said before. So I sat around in my dorm room by myself because I did not feel like going out for Chinese food. So anyway this kid comes knocking on my door and I didn't feel like going to answer it, so I pretended like I wasn't in my room but, I guess he heard the t.v. on and he walked in anyway, so I had to play it off. (and I played it off very well might I add). So he asked me where my roommates were and I was like, "There not here, they went out for Chinese food and would be back soon, " and he was like "o well your roommate said I could come up here anytime and it would be alright." and I was like whatever. And then he started asking me if I wanted to go to his room and watch a movie with him and I was like "we'll see" meaning no but I didn't want to hurt his feeling because I don't know him and I didn't want to make a bad first impression on this kid. So he leaves and later on my roommates come back and I tell them that this kid stopped by looking for them and they felt bad because they were supposed to wait and bring him out to dinner. So we decided that we wanted some ice cream from this new ice cream place that just opened up around the corner. So we go to this kids room and invite him to ice cream. So in the car ride there my roommates were trying to set me up with this kid, so he begins to get the hint and starts flirting with me and like stroking my hand and stuff like that, and I was like "okay, there just messing with me, whatever I play along for a while." So he would tell jokes and I laughed cuz they were funny. We get our ice cream and go back to the dorm and i thought that would be the end of the night but, this kid wanted me to go back to his room and watch a movie (but i knew what he really wanted and it wasn't to watch a movie) So i am like no and i quickly whip out my cell phone and start talking to one of my closest friends and i just acted as though I was in deep conversation with my friend Dee Dee. So I hiding out in my dorm hall talking with my friend and this kid is like searching all over for me, and I in my head I am like "go away, I am not having sex with you kid." Finally I just get up and walk away and he finally got the hint and left me alone for the rest of the night. Thank God. And the best thing about it, is that he moves out of my dorm tomorrow into another dorm. (his dorm wasn't ready yet that is why he was in mine).
refreshed
aggravated
confused