moveslikekeithrichards:

retracing ur steps to remember what u were about to say/do is so funny like yeah let me go stand next to the microwave for a second i think i dropped my thought over there. & then it works

(via fleabagcastiel)

sirenofthetimes:

no one is coming to Save you but there are probably people coming to Help you and that rocks. embrace it

(via fleabagcastiel)

excuse-me-thanks:

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

(via deadgirlrising)

gaytanic-panic:

(via fleabagcastiel)

fluffysheeps:

Flower cows! 🌼🐄

(via shutupandeatyourketchup)

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

twiabpaianlatfwnogf:

*driving in my smart car* Google glass, show me the nearest e-cig shop! *beeping sound* ugh no! Only show ones that accept Bitcoin!

this was considered an outlandish joke in 2014

(via aciid--heart)

landsccape:

perception-filter:

oupyfactory:

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I’ve ever seen

(via gloomdocwife)

bbeelzemon:

egberts:

yiké

just don’t do that

i just spent entirely too long on this

(via deadgirlrising)

expressions-of-nature:

by Bernhard

(via moody-nature)