cleolinda, posts by tag: twilight recaps - LiveJournal

I may write an overall summary later, but for now, here is the complete livetweet/discussion (seven days over two weeks) of Twilight Reimagined: Life and Death. The last day is in two parts, because unexpectedly there as A DIVERGENCE and I had to recap the last three chapters twice over. And one of those chapters was an UNBELIEVABLE epilogue that had more plot than the entire rest of the book before it.

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There is somehow a Surprise New Gender Swap Twilight Book, and I have been livetweeting it on my secondary twitter at a snail's pace all day long (I keep getting caught up in comparing the versions, which will surprise no one who reads the Hannibal recaps). Yes: Beaufort Swan and Edythe Cullen. My right hand to God.

Speaking of which, bonus Storify: That time I decided Edward was a disappointing son that Hannibal kicked out.

(ahhhhh I was getting done with the "Contorno" recap, daaaaamn youuuuuu)

@cleolinda: I get irrationally pissed off that they call it The Twilight "Saga." Needs moar Vikings before it can be the Sparklingasögur.

@queenanthai: @cleolinda And cue the 30 people who will insist you make that a fanfic.


Oh hey! They actually have Icelandic epics translated online.


THE THIRD SONG OF THE SPARKLINGASÖGUR

CHAP. XXIV.

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So! Magically, there is a new Twilight book! A TWILIGHT BOOK THAT IS NOT MIDNIGHT SUN Actually, it's (apparently) more of a novella, and it is called "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner," focusing on a character who exists for one scene in Eclipse to tell us what Victoria's master plan was.

But it has been published to benefit the Red Cross (because vampires = blood, and...), and it's the thought that counts. You can buy it pretty much anywhere, or you can read it for free on the website; one dollar from each physical book, the site says (I don't know about e-books) goes to charity, and you have the option to donate if you read it for free. So please, if you are going to read this recap in lieu of buying the book (or even reading the free download), please consider donating at least $1 to the Red Cross anyway. I don't want to take away from that effort.

So. As always, this is largely based on notes I took ;as I was reading, then went back and fleshed out; bold font is to indicate that this is definitely real, actual text from the book. First, let's revisit the first/last time we saw Bree: ( Collapse )

... with bonus Twilight recappage here and there. This is, after all, the kind of quality service you have come to expect from Cleolinda Industries. Even if we're not very punctual.

(Hey, guess whose computer crashed yesterday and ate three chapters of recap? ARRRRRRGH.)

To catch up: the first half of the recap is here; the free PDF download is here; a list of other Twilight recaps I've done is here.

New icons! New "Growing Up Cullen" icons from inthe_redshirt ("Even the monkeys leave after that" is still my favorite line from this one); icons of the first half of the recap from bisty_icons; from k_maedae, Outrageous Flavor feat. Furious Kitten, Summer '09! (Do feel free to make your own, seriously.)

ETA: Moar recap icons from bisty_icons; icons by paintanelephant; icons from diddakoi; from laughingacademy: gaze upon the fabulousity of mspaint_lolz.

ON TO THE RECAP. ( Collapse )

So it took a lot longer than I thought it would. The migraines are chagrining my recapping mojo, you guys. Anyway, for better or worse, Stephenie Meyer has posted the first half of Midnight Sun on her website, for free, and I said I'd recap it once it was legally available, and now it is, so here we are. ( Collapse )

Thank you for calling Cleolinda Industries! We appreciate your interest and/or concern.

If you would like to read a semi-academic discussion of the first Twilight book, please press 1.

If you would like to read a chapter-by-chapter commentary on New Moon, please press 2.

If you would like to read a chapter-by-chapter commentary on Eclipse, please press 3.

If you would like to read a chapter-by-chapter commentary on the first half of Midnight Sun, please press 4.

If you would like a primer on the Twilight phenomenon, please press 5.

If you are sick of hearing about Twilight, please run screaming.

If you would like to begin a three-part commentary on Breaking Dawn, ( Collapse )

The continued adventures of sparkly vampires and the emoteens who love them. (See also: Twilight; New Moon.) By the way, for anyone who was having trouble with the video the other day, trailer_spot has fixed us up a direct download of the five-minute Robert Pattinson interview where he politely, respectfully, Britishfully talks about how ridiculous Edward and Bella are.

Oh, and I was psychic, as I so often am, in bringing up Wuthering Heights the other day, because it's apparently a big plot point in Eclipse. Maybe Alice will let me hang out with her now? So that's what I'll be listening to while reading this time; for the first book I put the David Cook stalker-rock cover of "Hello" on repeat ("I've been alone with you inside my mind..."), and for the second, Dido's "Here with Me," because it seemed like the angstiest thing I had on hand. Although I guess I could also go with Evanescence's "My Tourniquet," complete with the Romeo + Juliet sample of Claire Danes screaming "I LONG TO DIE!!!" ( Collapse )

Very brief notes I took as I read New Moon (well, I took notes chapter by chapter, but they're... relatively... brief. And... angry): ( Collapse )

I swear the next entry will be linkspam of some sort. After I pick the bits of my brain off the walls and shove them back in through my ears.

(More Twilight recaps.)

So... I finally read an e-book of Twilight last night, and... I kind of love it like cake. With rainbow sparkles sprinkles. Carried in by ponies. Pink ponies. If I had a hard copy, I would snuggle it. I'm going to read the other two, but they'll have to wait until I reread the first one again. Note: I also own and have seen Van Helsing about fifteen times, so... my loving something is not necessarily the most ringing endorsement in the world. I'm just saying.

So, in a nutshell, here's what the book is about: ( Collapse )

ETA: Read a first half of Midnight Sun/large chunks of Twilight recap here; read more Twilight series recaps here.