And I dance
Cat! I'm a kitty kat! and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance.
Ah. I'm normally not in the mood to sing such a ridulous song. Damn humans. But it gets stuck in your head when you're in a good mood like me.
You see, Master got a couple.... eh.... additions... to the house. Unfortunately, the two n3wbs think they're a cat like me. As if! I'm one of a kind. Thor's pitiful soul knew that, and so will these too.
Idiot names too- Tabby and Brownie. Sounds like the snap, crackle, and pop or some cookie company if you ask me.
Sadly, Master isn't convinced and has been feeding them and snuggling them right in fucking front of me! Then he has the nerve to get mad at me when I chase them around like field mice. There's nothing wrong with a little bloodshed. It makes everyone's lives more interesting.
Anyway, that is the unfortunate part. However, I've been devising ways to get these things out for a while. My plan so far has been working!
See, the kittens just got litter-trained (so uncultured before they came here). They had a few accidents around the house, and I started noticing that Master liked to rub their faces in it and yell after they did it. It trained them well, but it sparked an idea in my head.
So for the past week, I've been taking big mountanous shits in the kittens' room, and a little pee here and there. It's so wonderful. I do it at night after Master and his mistress go to sleep. Then they get up in the morning. Master sees it in their room and thinks they did it!
So I wake up every morning to kitten punishment and lovin's from Master. Then he feeds us.
I mean, it's not like Master notcies I don't shit in the litterbox anymore. He's always cleaning their box. Like 2 cats in one box means I have to have a lower quality of life.
Anyway, I think my plan's working. I heard Master and his mistress wondering if the kitten's would ever stop shitting out of their litter box! They'll be gone in no time! (Hey, it worked with Thor!)
*tummy grumble*
Ahh, I better go plant the evidence.
Ah. I'm normally not in the mood to sing such a ridulous song. Damn humans. But it gets stuck in your head when you're in a good mood like me.
You see, Master got a couple.... eh.... additions... to the house. Unfortunately, the two n3wbs think they're a cat like me. As if! I'm one of a kind. Thor's pitiful soul knew that, and so will these too.
Idiot names too- Tabby and Brownie. Sounds like the snap, crackle, and pop or some cookie company if you ask me.
Sadly, Master isn't convinced and has been feeding them and snuggling them right in fucking front of me! Then he has the nerve to get mad at me when I chase them around like field mice. There's nothing wrong with a little bloodshed. It makes everyone's lives more interesting.
Anyway, that is the unfortunate part. However, I've been devising ways to get these things out for a while. My plan so far has been working!
See, the kittens just got litter-trained (so uncultured before they came here). They had a few accidents around the house, and I started noticing that Master liked to rub their faces in it and yell after they did it. It trained them well, but it sparked an idea in my head.
So for the past week, I've been taking big mountanous shits in the kittens' room, and a little pee here and there. It's so wonderful. I do it at night after Master and his mistress go to sleep. Then they get up in the morning. Master sees it in their room and thinks they did it!
So I wake up every morning to kitten punishment and lovin's from Master. Then he feeds us.
I mean, it's not like Master notcies I don't shit in the litterbox anymore. He's always cleaning their box. Like 2 cats in one box means I have to have a lower quality of life.
Anyway, I think my plan's working. I heard Master and his mistress wondering if the kitten's would ever stop shitting out of their litter box! They'll be gone in no time! (Hey, it worked with Thor!)
*tummy grumble*
Ahh, I better go plant the evidence.