thirtysomething. californian. writer. dorkus maximus. she/her. i'm cicer over on ao3. this is primarily a 00Q blog at the moment! *I DO NOT RESPOND TO OR SHARE UNSOLICITED FUNDRAISING ASKS.
Okie-dokie, friends. I’ve been on tumblr since 2011 and I plan to be here until they shut the doors completely, but things have developed to the point where I think it’s prudent to have some backup options.
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I don’t plan to be doing much with either account unless/until something happens with tumblr, but I’d like to make sure I’m following all my people someplace else, just so I don’t lose touch with anybody if a calamity does occur.
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father jud is so ripe for dissecting and putting in new situations but whenever i or my posts leave our little bubble im met with people aghast at the idea of interrogating or dissecting him or making him question his priesthood bc hes so adamant that he needs it in canon when thats exactly why its so alluring to try and take it away from him!!! hes wearing a costume!!! i wanna see whats lurking underneath!!! audiences are so strictly pro canon these days its like nobody wants to take their action figure out of the mint condition box it arrived in and snap its body in half and attach a mermaid tail onto it anymore
@cicerfics this is what i think too! he does seem to sincerely love and believe in jesus' story specifically so his idea of divinity is likely to remain a christian one but his pursuit of catholic priesthood is more about keeping himself in line and building a strict lifestyle and career for himself (he is ambitious just as much as he is self-destructive if not even more imo) than helping people because as much as he says he wants to help others find god what he seems to naturally prefer and gravitate towards during his entire onscreen life is the urge to eradicate peoplemen he sees as problems.
and i'd say that's not necessarily his fault except it kinda is because when you decide to make catholicism the hill you want to die on you're gonna have to deal with other catholics and most of them are gonna suck. especially men, especially ones working within/benefiting from the system. the one specific priest that caused most of the drama may be gone but jud is still answering to the catholic church + he's getting severely scrutinized bc of his infamy and temper so there's no way he's gonna stagnate for long. his "career" is likely gonna keep taking him in batshit directions and his personal faith in god will keep clashing with his job.
that clash is indeed canonically one of the core emotional subplots in the movie to the point where it's actually crazy to me that this friction between faith and the church didn't get interrogated further in the movie itself let alone from audiences? but a lot of people are unable to separate the institution of the church from the concept of faith i think. which is like. Thinking For Yourself 101. so that's a little worrisome lol
but this does align with the kinda pretty grim point rian makes in this allegedly hopecore movie, which is that since things in the usa are so dire that people are refusing to think for themselves there ought to at least be a nicer guy in charge telling them what to think. and i'm like... well no. and also yikes. and also this is what happens when writers spend too much time on twitter
i love latching onto aspects of the blanc movies that rian glosses over by keeping the story focused on the murder and ending it the second the victim is victorious like i know it cannot have felt chill and normal for helen to embody her sister so perfectly under such dire circumstances... it's pretty clear to me from context clues that helen both admired andi's ability to become an upper class chameleon but also judged her a little bit for it on some level because in her pursuit of greatness andi left their hometown and shed her southern accent and straightened her hair and dyed it blonde and wore designer clothes even if she wasn't very wealthy herself because she was ambitious and trying to blend in with (mostly white) entrepreneurs that proceeded to plagiarize and betray and then kill her. and helen did it all for justice and got her revenge but she also got to be her more ~glamorous~ twin sister for the first time (while freshly grieving her) and earned herself some infamy of her own in the process. i don't think she can just easily slide back into her life as a teacher in alabama after all that... same goes for marta and jud tbh none of blanc's watsons are able to remain the same after blanc alters their doomed fates and gives them a taste of victory. none of those endings are as clean-cut as they seem if you think about what comes after for these characters bc blanc may be done with the case but they all have to live out the rest of their lives as controversial figures in the public eye + having "wronged" wealthy and powerful people that will likely keep wanting to retaliate
in texts as a shorthand q calls them C and _. this causes no issues at all.
if anyone comments about how its weird hes got cats named after other animals he'd be so confused at first because it's so disconnected from the animals in his mind he forgets theyre real creatures and not just naming conventions
Bond, looking down at a cat winding itself round his leg: who's this then? Q: oh that's Camel, ignore her Bond: … Bond, slowly: *points at cat* you are aware Q, that this, is a cat? Q: ... Q: what an odd thing to say *goes back to whatever he was doing* Bond: *raises single eyebrow*
[later, texting]
Q: dont let _ in2 bedrm she will eat my peace lily Bond: ? Bond: I know opsec is important to you Q but do you really think the names of your cats are a security risk...?
separately Bond discovers emojis and instantly knows he can become 15% more annoying by using them as much as humanly possible
Bond: 🐍 keeps getting stuck in the net curtain and 🐪 insists on screaming about it. How do I get them to 🛑? Q: im not interpreting these hieroglyphs Q: type like a normal prsn
do u guys know the fic Greetings from the Shrublands? Greetings from the Shrublands which dares to make the bold assertion that but for the hedonistic excess required of him by the 00 lifestyle, Bond would conceivably be a total health nut kind of guy? truly so controversial yet so brave.
I'm,. still not convinced either there wasn't some kind of. mind control or hypnotism or other kind of Wacky-Science mental conditioning hijinks involved within the conceit of this fic.
However,... now that I think on it now. this could also be construed as a W in the "actually, Bond would be very vulnerable to cult indoctrination" column. so yea no wacky science brainwashing, let's go with that.
...Yeah, okay, I am obsessed with this concept actually???
Because it does fit in with a lot of my headcanons about Bond...specifically, post-retirement Bond who has a lot of voids in his life that he desperately needs to fill. A post-retirement Bond who (by virtue of the fact that he is retired) has to completely overhaul his life and even (to some degree) his personality, because nothing he's currently got going on is gonna work long-term in a post-double-oh-sector life.
I do think that, left to his own devices in a semi-healthy post-retirement scenario, Bond would actually naturally gravitate to a somewhat healthy way of living? See: house on a Jamaican beach and daily fresh-caught fish.
And I think that in a genuinely healthy post-retirement scenario (as in: Bond is in a happy, fulfilling, mutually supportive relationship with Q and feels reasonably optimistic about the future) Bond would be sincerely invested in improving his own health and doing the very best he can to live well.
For Q's sake, initially. Because Bond's pride would not be able to stomach the idea of being a sad-sack who day-drinks on Q's couch all day. Bond would be very determined to Not Be A Burden to Q, and to make sure Q didn't regret taking a leap of faith and throwing in his lot with James H. Bond.
But once he got started, I think Bond would discover (or rediscover) some healthy-living stuff he actually enjoys a lot...like a taking a cold morning swim, going off for a brisk nature hike, and cooking fresh meals from locally sourced produce.
And because Bond has no ability to calibrate himself (it is zero or a hundred with him; he has no in-between speed) I can actually easily see him going whole-hog with the healthy living thing, and getting really annoying about his green juice shots, protein shakes, a meticulously crafted workout regime, and a strict adherence to a no-processed-foods diet.
In fact, I think it would be easier for him to go all-in on healthy living and than try to make a few simple healthy adjustments to his existing lifestyle. I think he'd find it easier to become an Organic Spinach Smoothie With Every Meal Guy™ than to just become a guy who half-assedly eats vegetables with dinner.
And because I see him as an all-or-nothing sort of person, I think this could easily become a crusade for hm: he must be Healthy because he has to stick around as long as possible and look after Q and be a Good Partner™! His cause is noble and his motives are pure, and his dedication to duty does not waver!
He is cheerfully whirring up his first spinach smoothie at 5am, secure in the knowledge that he is Succeeding as a husband and partner! Skin clear, crops watered, self-image boosted, etc.!!
Also, I think it would amuse him greatly to annoy, confuse, and surprise people with his new lifestyle. I think he'd like to see jaws drop when he declines a martini and virtuously sips his green juice. I think he'd love the way agents smoking outside the MI6 garage glare and roll their eyes at him when he tuts at them (not even breaking his stride as he passes by on his thrice-weekly ten-mile run).
"Filthy habit," Bond says gravely, as he sips his alkaline water and pops a fish-oil capsule. "Those things will kill you."
009 throws the empty cigarette pack at Bond's head.
I agree Bond is 100%% an all or nothing guy!!! He throws himself wholeheartedly into being a 00, with all its accompanying vices. And once he retires... and oh no he's gotta functionally reinvent himself... he will 100% devote himself fully to being Guy Who Actually Has a Five Year Plan and Thinks About the Future.
re ur thing abt rediscovering health things he actually enjoys- yeaah!! that fits with my pet thing too, the like.. rediscovering/reframing of things he did For The Job before but for enjoyment now. Taking a cold morning swimg cuz he LOVES the water, not just because he needs to Keep Up His Physical Conditioning and this is one thing to tick off towards that. Cooking not just to kill the time or for seduction, but cuz! it's fun to try out new recipes and experiment with ingredients and flavors! Recreating dishes he rly liked from places he traveled to and never really thought twice about before now! Vibe of this post that's like careful abt birding bc you will become addicted to noticing beauty in everything & nature!
And also 100% Bond can either whole ass the thing or no ass the thing. Works great for a field agent- they devote themselves entirely to their task and don't waste energy on superfluous things. uhhh very... interesting.... for Q to have in a partner who is now getting into Health Shit...
I also agree with you that Q is like that's nice! I'm very happy for you! absolutely NOT I will not do this lol. hes just like me forreal (i was complaining abt bad sleep sched and probs coffee doesnt help and my coworker was like, why don't you quit coffee for a bit then? and I was like. and face the cruel cold world without a beverage as a trusty companion and bulwark??? nO the meme is right it IS just me and my iced coffee against the world....)
I think Bond could get Q to participate in SOME of his intense crazy health nut stuff, but Q absolutely WILL draw firm hard lines lmao. nO he will NOT get up at 6am every Saturday to go hiking. However, he could be persuaded - some weeks! - to wake up at *8am* to go hiking. SOME weeks!!
But back to Bond- yes it's a win win win for him cuz he gets to Have A Mission/Achievable Tasks after retirement, can get a good grade in both that (which Q will give him despite being somewhat baffled and suspicious of it) AND being a good partner to Q, AND he STILL gets to cause problems on purpose cuz everyone ELSE is also Baffled and Suspicious about all of this. AND yes his skin is clear he's the most hydrated he's been in ages his crops are thriving 🥰🥰🥰 excellent work all around! for HIM! 😊😊
imagine a situation where - they're in the middle of a mission - and *waves hand* uhh maybe Q tells Bond to go one way but he doesn't do it and now he's trapped hunkered down behind some cover while bad guys shoot at him, and Q had already snapped at him when he first didn't go the way Q said but he also is lowkey yelling at Bond for fuckin this all up. while scrambling to try to find Bond a way out or cook up a distraction or sth
and then Q gets. a text alert. from 007?? (.....they're on comms, wtf?)
he pulls it up. and yes it's a text from Bond
that just says.
r u mad at me 🥺
........if Bond were here he'd be throwing his mobile at his idiot head.
(the main pt of this i, for MY own amusement, wanted to invent a scenario where Bond texts Q an uwu-ass text at an inappropriate time lmao. cuz i think thatd be funny)
simply because Iiii dream of "what if I reached out and grabbed a duck, what then," I've cooked up a scenario in which Bond, injured, has checked himself out of Medical despite being on Many Drugs and He Should Not Be Out of Medical.
Q of course gets tapped to track him down. He finds Bond in a park sitting on a bench by the water, mesmerized by the movement of the ducks swarming around him, to whom he is throwing bits of a sad Medical-issued sandwich.
He sees Q approaching. He reaches out and grabs a duck (a rather fine duck). It protests loudly. Bond hands the duck to Q, who, non-plussed, takes it reflexively. Q is now holding a duck. He stares at the duck. The duck stares at him. Bond, loopy, looks rather pleased with himself.
Q freezes in a half-crouch because Bond is now looking at him with all seven seas' worth of sorrow in his eyes.
"Is it not a good duck?" Bond asks quietly.
In any other situation Q could probably swing a quip about duck morality and religion in order to get out of this conversation, but 007 looks about one blink away from weeping. Apparently this is not just a random duck, but rather a very special and symbolic duck, containing within its quacking, squirming, kicking body Bond's desire for Q to approve of his duck choosing skills. Rejection of the duck means rejection of the agent, and like a transplanted organ, Bond looks like rejection will kill him.
“It is an excellent duck,” Q says, outwardly calm while he frantically plots out several possible lines of conversation that might lead to him setting the duck safely back on the ground. “Look at the healthy sheen of the feathers, the strong beak, the clear determination to decide its own fate.”
The duck quacks loudly and kicks its feet, clearly determined to be back in control of its own destiny. Bond’s eyes crinkle with distant laughter and he nods.
“Almost an archetype really,” Q continues. “And as such, perhaps it best serves its purpose as a shining example among its community? ” If his voice carries more pleading than persuasion, well, he’s a bit distracted by trying to rotate the duck in ways that avoid him being bitten or clawed.
Bond nods again, more thoughtfully, and Q puts the duck down with a reassuring smile. Bond watches it waddle determinedly away and then turns back to Q, still quite unanchored, his attention drifting.
“You know,” Q says. “My flat is rather close. And I have a cat. Would you like to meet her?”
Bond’s eyes light up as Q holds out a hand. It’s really quite a brilliant solution, he thinks. Sascha’s main talent is napping, usually on someone, and Q didn’t think Bond would be able to resist her sedative powers.
A few hours of sleep curled up with Sascha (hopefully in a chair or bed, but if he were honest, the floor would be perfectly acceptable at this point) should see Bond through the worst of this.
Q feels rather smug. What could go wrong with such a simple plan?
quite well actually!! they’ve seen how smitten (however subtle, they’re quite perceptive) q is around bond, and have been curious about the Blond guy who keeps breaking in XD but they were particularly protective of q when bond was gone for almost a year and came back (just when they were warming up to him!)… but things came around eventually:)
i like to think they see him as another cat 🐱 (just bigger!!!) because he seems to emulate a cat… being territorial, disappearing at random times, trying to get q’s attention by knocking stuff down, etc etc…. they’ve become fond of the guy a little too much, they start betraying q whenever bond and q have their nonsensical Banters
nice as it may sound though…. it does create complications whenever Papa and The Other Cat spend time in the bedroom together….
sorry to be pedantic outside of the tags but i love these as exhibits a b and c of why the “shakespeare is meant to be performed” cliche is real; on the page they look wild but actors know how to read the embedded stage directions
two of these examples can’t be shared lines of iambic pentameter (both gertrude’s line and brutus’ are already rushed and irregular at eleven syllables, so laertes and cassius both get their full ten beats for two or three words) and one of them doesn’t have to be (macduff and malcolm’s lines add up to ten beats indicating that it’s shared but no one will call the scansion cops on you if you split it into two and divvy up the extra ten syllables between them, which imo is the more playable option)
remember that verse is symphonic and that those extra syllables are notes in the orchestration of the scene— they have to go somewhere, either into beats of rest or sound. there’s a lot of ways to score any of these moments but one possibile notation for the first is
MACD: your royal father’s murdered.
(rest/ rest/ rest/ rest/ rest/)
MAL: oh.
(rest / rest / rest/ rest/ rest/) ...
by whom?
all that silence affords the director a moment to let a lightning-fast scene (the entire cast pouring onstage in ones and twos, yelling over each other at varying levels of authenticity) come to a screeching halt, and the severity of the situation set in. for the actor it’s playable as all hell, and ultimately very human: the kind of raw shock that makes you ask stupid questions. you get the same thing with laertes. tbh i’ve always found “drowned? (rest / rest /) oh. (rest / rest / rest / rest/ rest /) .....where?” to be utterly goddamn devastating in how realistic it is, bc what else can you say to that? if someone told you with no warning that your sister drowned, what else would come out of your mouth in the moment but something stupid and mundane? oh. ..........where did it happen?
the other notable similarity in these three moments is the use of un-words: two ‘o’s and a ‘ha’ (they aren’t meant to be pronounced exactly like “Oh” or “Ha”; traditionally shakespearean un-words are performed as unarticulated sounds, sighs, groans, exhalations etc). un-words leap out to the actor because it is a character rendered speechless. i made a post a few weeks ago about how big of a deal it is when people written by william shakespeare dont have words for what they’re experiencing/when the pain is so big that even in a metanarrative universe where you are only the words you speak you are forced to admit that something is unspeakable, and every “o” or “ha” or “ah” etc is a moment of this horror, this defeat at the hands of your own medium
it’s a rich moment for actors because in classical text it’s frowned upon to act “outside” of the line (to waste vocal qualities on things that aren’t words, ie to take a pause from speaking your richly layered monologue to let out a pained exhale. “act on the line” says your director, smacking you on the knuckles with a copy of freeing shakespeare’s voice), it’s diva-y and amateurish to take more syllables than you’re given. but when you’re given the space of ten beats for “ha portia”, who will dare call you a scene hog for stretching that “ha” into five notes of agonized, wordless noise?
in the same way that lear’s “howl howl howl” is very much not just the word ‘howl’ said three times these moments demand full, shattering vulnerability from the actor, a dive into the place in the body where pain lives. maybe laertes and malcolm really do say “oh.”, quiet and childlike, or maybe that ‘o’ is a stand-in for the all-air sound that shakes out of you when you get punched in the lungs and try to talk through it, or for that deep animal groan you heard that made you think what was that before you realized it was coming out of your own throat
anyway you get what i mean. you wouldn’t look at a blueprint and say you saw the house, you wouldn’t read the sheet music and say you heard the symphony, etc
father jud is so ripe for dissecting and putting in new situations but whenever i or my posts leave our little bubble im met with people aghast at the idea of interrogating or dissecting him or making him question his priesthood bc hes so adamant that he needs it in canon when thats exactly why its so alluring to try and take it away from him!!! hes wearing a costume!!! i wanna see whats lurking underneath!!! audiences are so strictly pro canon these days its like nobody wants to take their action figure out of the mint condition box it arrived in and snap its body in half and attach a mermaid tail onto it anymore
🇺🇸nationwide recall of outshine plant-based frozen fruit bars due to contamination with glass🇺🇸
this frozen dessert is also known as an ice pop, popsicle, paleta, lollipop, lolly, ice lolly, icy pole, ice block, ice drop, ice gola, ice candy, ai tim tang, ice cream tang, and kisko. whatever you call these flavored frozen something-or-others on a stick, these recalled ones have a secret ingredient: glass
and that glass has best before dates all the way into november 2027.
for whatever reason, the FDA has made it unnecessarily difficult to tell if you have any of these recalled outshine fruit bars. more on that towards the bottom. I (rune) went ahead and made the batch information easier to read, because it feels extra bad imagining people panicking through the recall announcement trying to figure out if they or their children possibly ate glass.
if you have an affected box, do NOT eat it. throw it out or return it to the store for a refund. make sure everyone else you know does the same, because eating glass can cause unwanted side effects. such as death
August 18, 2026 - Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream, Inc. is voluntarily recalling a limited number of select flavors of Outshine Fruit Bars due to possible foreign material contamination with glass. Products affected include Outshine Strawberry, Watermelon, Grape, Tangerine and Black Cherry 6-Count 2.5 ounce Fruit Bars and the Outshine 24-Count 2.5 ounce Variety Pack Fruit Bars. These lots were distributed to retailers nationwide.
"limited number" and "select flavors" are doing a lot of heavy lifting for a nationwide recall where the contaminated fruit bars were distributed to too many retailers to list.
No other Outshine products or varieties are impacted. ONLY the five flavors of 6 Count (2.5-oz bars) and Outshine Variety 24-Count (2.5-oz bars) Fruit Bars. Batch codes can be identified on the product packaging.
the original version of this line was, "No other Outshineproductsor varieties are impacted. ONLY the five flavors of 6ct 2.5-ounce paddle bars."
no need to worry about our other products being affected by glass contamination, unless you trusted us the last time we said this...a whole three days ago! move on
Dreyer’s is taking this action out of an abundance of caution following consumer reports of glass found in the product. No illnesses or injuries have been reported to date. Anyone concerned about an injury should contact a healthcare provider immediately. Consumers who have purchased the affected product should dispose of it or return it to their place of purchase for a full refund.
as is the case with countless food recalls, dreyer's only discovered their desserts were contaminated with glass and subsequently issued this recall after multiple heroes reported issues with their food. no glass-related injuries have been reported yet, but...be real, chances are good someone already ate some amount of glass. if that sounds like you, dreyer's says to pursue medical attention (or at least professional medical advice) immediately.
even if the glass only slices your digestive tract a teeny tiny bit, any possible germs on said glass (and anything else you eat afterwards) get expedite delivered directly into those cuts and might lead to a serious infection. consumed glass could also become embedded somewhere on the way in, on the way down, and on the way out of your body. a scenario like that could require surgery to remove the glass.
if you do accidentally eat glass, PLEASE report it to both the FDA and to dreyer's to get your injuries officially recorded. the more heroes who report injuries and illnesses from their food, the more these issues get taken seriously, the more people find out about them, the more other people can be protected, and the more easily other victims can receive medical care and possibly compensation. in a worst case scenario, eating glass or food contaminated with mystery germs can result in lifelong disability or death. please help save lives.
The safety, quality, and integrity of our products remain our highest priority. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this action may cause our consumers and retail customers. We remain committed to maintaining the highest standards of food safety and quality and to earning the trust of our consumers and customers every day.
...which is why the dreyer's primary official website, icecream.com, definitely contains a prominent warning about outshine fruit bars containing glass? or at the very least a search result for "recall"? surely someone who claims safety as a "highest priority" would never half-ass communication about actual glass, right? (whoops!)
none of this PR bullshit matters. dreyer's should have at least had a prominent banner and recall page template ready, filled out, and published by now. plenty of other food manufacturers manage that part just fine. despite dreyer's PR pinky promises, they already extensively fumbled this recall. my (rune!) sympathies to anyone else devastated by dreyer's performance. and also the glass
Consumers with questions may contact Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream, Inc. Customer Service at 800-392-4885, Monday thru Friday 8am to 5pm EST. Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream, Inc Media Contacts: dreyers@casupport.com
got questions? want to know when dreyer's plans to add prominent banners and pages to their websites about their glass recall? reach out!
alright, now here is where things get confusing. on the FDA's table listing the specific recalled products: product packaging (name and quantity) and UPC (identifying product number) both say "see image below". the batch code/best before date column is still correctly filled in, albeit attached to incomplete information.
the FDA apparently expects everyone to look at the blurry-as-shit images, transcribe flavors and UPCs in order, and then link them to the incomplete table. possibly while racing against the melting of their creamless ice. keep in mind, recall announcements do frequently contain errors, including having their associated photos incorrectly ordered or labeled. but the tables are usually at least completed.
so, where exactly is the list of recalled flavors and UPCs in plain text to know for sure? especially if the images are too blurry to read?
...hidden within the fucking alt text!!!!!!
and so it was up to me (rune!!) to utilize my expert hacker accessibility alt text skills and format this information for the tragically-tableless tumblr. why these steps were skipped over on the FDA website with full table capabilities in favor of making people hunt for it, I (rune!!!) have no fucking clue. rough times at the US FDA
reminder that tumblr natively supports alt text on both desktop and mobile, and more people should be using it. after attaching a photo, click on the meatball menu/3 dots to add a brief description.
rune (me) recall pro tip: to check your bars, take pictures of the box and then promptly put it back in the freezer. do not keep the box out while looking through the numbers. otherwise, much like the eventual fate of all things on our fragile earth, your treats might disappear into memory
RECALLED OUTSHINE FRUIT BARS, THEIR UPCS, BATCH CODES, AND BEST BEFORE DATES (see bottom of package) BELOW THE CUT
Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.
