insight into the mind of christopher

1 reason that i LOVE thursdays:

SURVIVOR!!!!!!!


i'm a dork...i know...

so i'm at work today and the weekend AM supervisor (who is this awesome lil indian woman) tells me that i should apply for the open front desk supervisor position. actually, 'tell' is not the word to describe it. it was more like she was force-feeding me the idea. its looking better and better. we now have a good staff, a better boss than before and i think i would do well as a supervisor. granted, i do more work than anyone else on the AM shift.

then, i'm coming in from smoking when i pass the HR director who stops me and asks me if i knew that my boss is looking for another supervisor. i told her that it was mentioned to be but i didn't know if i wanted to go out for it. so i go back upstairs and tell shirin (the awesome lil indian woman) what happened and she basically tells me that if i don't go for it, she won't talk to me EVER again. :) i know she was kidding, but it did get me to thinking. if she has that much confidence in me that i can do it, then maybe i can.

so i did. i wrote a letter of interest and dropped it off at the HR office after lunch. I talked with the director about it a little bit and she seemed happy that i was going for it too. so who knows?

all i know is that i would have my weekends off probably and it's more money than i'm making now. and plus, its a good steppingstone. i could put supervisor on my resume, which is a lot more impressive than regular ol' guest services representative.

so that's that.

blah.

did i ever mention how much i HATE my job?

oh, and i was so ready to slap my co-worker across the face this morning when she asked me what time i left yesterday. picture this.... friday morning (the morning after i find out i'm working another 6 day week for the 6th week straight), this chick comes in an hour late. and then leaves before i do, which means i have to stay an hour later.

and then she asks me what time i left...'oh, around 4:30', i answered. 'i was wayyyyyyyyyy gone' was the response. no shit, bitch. i hate her. i think i'm going enlist myself to my supervisor, who wants this chick fired.

in the quasi-words of home depot - 'we can do it. i can help'.

but yesterday i got offered to meet the daughters of some women i talked to. and they gave me brownies too. i love them. too bad someone on the night shift fucked everything up when they checked them in. but they still love me. and they're here for some fashion/hair conference (don't ask, i don't even know...) so i'm getting some primo hair products too from them. did i mention i loved them?

two days down, four more to go till my day off.

i fucking hate this shit.

i want a job where i can have my own desk so i can decorate it with cool little trinkets and pictures. oh, and one where i don't get yelled at on a daily basis would be nice. :)

rant over.

g'night.

~c

so i'm sitting here, waiting for the shawn to come home from work so we can go out. i have tomorrow off so i relish any opportunity to go out and drink and be merry.

i've come to the conclusion that my two cats are lesbianious by nature.

that became evident when there were on the bed this morning, looking like they were holding hands, er, paws. lisa's the prima donna of the two, who just wants you to pay her some attention so she can curl up and sleep on your lap. kiwi's the one with the image problem. she's fat. she won't let anyone pet her anywhere besides her head. i keep telling her that she wouldn't have that problem if she didn't run to the food bowl everytime someone walked into the kitchen. as if us humanfolk are going to steal her precious meow mix.

i called off today from work. going 4 weeks with only 4 days off is not becoming. in fact, it's turned me into a morose, cranky bitch. so i decided that since they called me in on my day off last week, they owed me. so i took today off. they won't fire me, because they know that they need me there. they've told me that themselves - they were glad i didn't get the job at the conventions & visitors bureau because it meant that a hard worker (me) would still be there and they need it since we're sooooooooooo shortstaffed. i've come to resign myself to being overworked and underpaid. but once i find a better job that pays more, they already know i'm out...either that or if they can convince me to apply for the supervisor position. hmmmm. not likely. i deal with enough bullshit now. could i possibly take anymore? somehow i think not.

anyways, everyone knows i hate talking about work, because it gets me riled up. but like the rose nyland that i am, i always have a st. olaf (or crowne plaza) story to tell.

the lesbianmobile will be gone soon, me hopes. i'm going to look at new cars tomorrow with shawn to see what i can find. i know for a fact the LM won't pass inspection in october, and i don't want to pay to get everything fixed AGAIN, so i'm just going to sell it for what i can and get a new car. well, get a new car first and then sell the LM.

survivor starts this month, i'm so excited!!! one of these days i will get my application in on time. just plant a fucking post-it on my forehead next time, so i won't forget.

enough blab. i'm outtie.

~c

so today a guest came to check out and said: 'you have awesome hair.'

cool.

that was the good thing. the bad part is that i work with a bunch of idiots.

"Collide"

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide


~i know that i haven't updated in ages. this is for shawn.~

so the bitch apologized.

then she said they had overheard it from people joking at the bellstand and decided to tell me about it. and she thought it was funny. yeah. sure. whatever. and that i shouldn't have gone above her to HR and my boss. well, HR said i did the right thing in coming there. so there. :P

and steven spielberg is staying at the crowne. i don't know about tom cruise, but i saw mr. spielberg in the hotel bar this afternoon eating. it was actually quite cool.

and over the past few months we've had:
-dolly parton
- barry williams (greg brady)
-jeff conaway (kinicky in grease)
- jackee harry (from sister, sister)
- dawn wells (marryann from gilligan's island)
- dave mordal (from last comic standing)
- vanilla ice
- louie anderson

its quite fun working where you get all these celebs coming in :)

i swear that one of these days i won't forget about this thing.

so i didn't get to go home for thanksgiving. it was a little rough. this year was the first time that i hadn't been home at that time and it was sad that i wasn't able to see my parents, my grandmother and my aunts. but my sister also couldn't go, and that sucked too.
and i almost know for sure that i won't be going home for christmas, which totally sucks. that's what being on the bottom of the seniority 'food chain' does to you. everyone else gets it, and you get fucked. oh well. perhaps i'll just drown my sorrows in a nice bottle of wine that day/night. speaking of wine, it does sound good. :) if only i didn't have to work tomorrow.

i'm going through a tough time right now at work, and it all has to do with my stutter. i've never thought i would hate myself more for something that i can't control. there just gets to be a certain point where you can't take people looking at you like you're stupid because you're having problems getting a word out. and these days, my stutter has gotten worse. i think that partly it's because of the more stress-inducing my job is now. and i hate the ignorance of some people.

yesterday, mendez( one of my coworkers) came up to me while i was talking to jordyn (another of my coworkers) and said something like this 'wouldn't it be funny if chris and dustin (a bellman who also stutters) had a contest to see which one could get a word out the quickest?' and all the time she was imitating someone with a stutter. i was so speechless i couldn't do much more than stare at her in bewilderment. jordyn finally said 'that's not funny' and i said to mendez, 'that's not funny and it's rude' and i walked away from her. it just shocked me that someone would say something like that to me. to my face. it's one thing if you talk about someone behind their back, but to take it and shove it into their face like that? that's wrong on so many levels. i have tried so many times to be polite to her, but she has this bitchy attitude about her. for instance, i said good morning to her one time when i got into work and she said 'its not a good morning, don't talk to me. does it look like it's a good morning?' and if i were to EVER make a joke about how she speaks (she's from jamaica with a somewhat heavy accent) there would be all hell to pay and i would never hear the end of it.

i told one of my supervisors this morning what went on and she couldn't believe it either. not only was it not even remotely funny, but it was just plain rude, not to mention degrading. and did mendez apologize to me yesterday afterwards? of course not. so you know what? with the support of my supervisors (and almost everyone else at the front desk) i'm writing a complaint letter to my boss. if she would have apologized for it and realized how it offended me, i would have been upset, but not as upset as i am now. but to do that, while imitating me, and then acting like it's all a big joke? i'm sorry, honey, but the joke's on you.
i'll see to that.

bitch.

i've always been insecure about my stutter, and i'm even more so these days. i stutter everywhere i go, even if i'm around good friends. it's not good. i think part of it is because i'm so insecure about where i am in my life and where i want to go (professionally) and what i want to do. it's frustrating.

i considered going back to school, possibly for accounting, but that sort of fell by the wayside when i realized that i couldn't afford it, even with scholarships and loans.

i'm just in a very big rut right now. and it was just made a lot worse yesterday.

hopefully soon i'll feel better

reasons it's a blah day:

#1 - i woke up extremely hungover this morning.
good thing i had shawn here to help me out. i was a mess. but that's what a lot (i forget the exact number) of gin & tonics will do to you. and plus, i got sick on the ride home. that was soooooooo not fun. but at least it wasn't in my car. i wish you could drink and drink and not get hangovers. but at least i had a good time last night. i ran into some people who work at the crowne as well as some guests who are staying there. quite interesting.

#2 - there's snow outside.
i don't have to go any farther into that.

#3 - i have no motivation to do much of anything.
which means of course i have things i should do. like laundry & cleaning.

#4 - i have to work tomorrow.
:( but tomorrow is karen's party, so it's all good.

ok, that's it. i think it's time for a nap or something.

*sigh*

so bush won.

i'm disappointed. i really wanted kerry.

now i wonder what kinds of shit the shrub is going to get us into now...