Before Everything Happened,

So this is my first update from a mobile phone! Exciting stuff! Kinda... Thank God they have an App for it, though, 'cause I haven't installed the App for Blogspot yet(if there is one), and it's really difficult to post without it!! I came on here to post about these stupid men I keep encountering in my day to day life... First off, the most recent convo I had with Gallagher's father via telephone yesterday:

Me: Hello?
Bob: Andrea... What's going on?
Me: Well, I wanted to talk to you, 'cause I'm tired of feeling shut out, and having no answers!
Bob: Well, you're going about it the wrong way... I'm getting calls from Fresh Start and Brian Wong... The barbecue is not a social gathering for single moms.
Me: I wasn't even going to see you. I went to a Family Healing program and wanted to catch up with the people I met there.
Bob: You shouldn't be hanging out with addicted men. It's not a social outing, it's a facility where men get better.
Me: I wasn't going to socialize with the men, I was going to socialize with their families who I met at the program.
Bob: I don't want you there, and if you keep this up, I'll get a restraining order against you! You had me lie in court, making them think there was something going on between us and that there was a possibility I could take custody...
Me: So what should I tell Gallagher, then? That his Dad gives a shit about his daughters but not his son?
Bob: Yeah. I don't want to see you or that kid.
Me: But why?
Bob: *silence*
Me: Why?
Bob: *silence*
Me: Why?
Bob: 'Cause it's not where I'm at.
Me: But it's fine if my parents have to come out of retirement and spend all their RRSPs on lawyers, right?
Bob: That's your trip! If you wouldn't have gotten yourself involved in child welfare, I probably wouldn't even have found out I had a son!
Me: It's your trip, too! You didn't wear a condom!
Bob: *silence again*
Me: I do hope you've learned your lesson, fucking around with young girls, without wearing a condom!
Bob: It's time to shut this shit down, Andrea... That's all I'm saying *click*

Then, I met this guy on the Party Line on my phone, who's a rapper named James. And he's really good! His record that he made at home sounds really professional! We were supposed to meet up nearly two weekends ago, not to date, but 'cause he wants me to sing on his album! So we were just going to go bowling to get to know each other better before we start working together. He's legit, 'cause he hasn't been with a girl since he got sick with skitzophrenia twelve years ago. Furthermore, he's not looking for sex, but a real relationship, but he's honestly just cool with us being friends. So, anyway, I was all excited to get out on a weekend and go bowling! Then, he phones, right when I'm about to go get ready, and says he couldn't sleep all night, so he was canceling, so he could get some sleep. Then, yesterday, I asked if we were going to try again this weekend, and he said sure, now that he got some new clothes and a haircut, but could we go to a movie, 'cause he really sux at bowling? Awww, lol! So I was gamed for that, and was supposed to call today between three and four pm, but the machine picked up, so now I don't know if I'll get time to call again before Saturday :-/ Plus, he told me awhile back that he had bed bugs, and I read that they can be carried to other people through touch, eeek! So I'm a little hesitant about that part, but he does sound like a super nice guy, and he is an exceptionally talented rapper, so...

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

I'm out of air, when it comes to explaining "the real side" of the story. In the words of Jacques, "Fuck it". Other people can move in with a man, and stay at home, looking after his kids, while selling things they made online/cleaning house. Not me. I manage to have a kid with an orphan/addict, and because I don't live with him, and he's not going to work to support me, I can't spend my life, staying home to look after his child/sell things online/clean. Even though it's MY life, not social services'. If I defend my own life, I get my child taken from me, and I'm just making excuses as to why I can't work, and I can only keep my child, if I could work and they know for a fact I can't, 'cause cognitively delayed peoples' first priority isn't safety, they can't take orders and they can't understand why they can't get jobs, even if they're not entirely qualified to work at them. How are you ever going to obtain the qualifications/experience in the first place, if that one person isn't willing to even give you a chance? That's the honest to God truth, not some defect invented by some know-it-all, who decided to use expertise they, themselves, pulled out of the air, to prevent people from living their lives and learning, and called it "psychology" or "reality". I can't stay at home, looking after Gallagher, while selling things/cleaning, 'cause I'm single, yet I went to school with girls, who's mothers supported them, using welfare, 'cause they wanted to be the kind of mother who stayed at home selling things/cleaning. Or they got borders in, so they could pay a mortgage. Uh-huh. So, then, social services makes your confidence take even more of a nosedive, when everytime you make the effort to apply for a job, you don't get it, when you didn't even want a job outside of the home to begin with. They wanted you to have one. Social services also makes you want to hate the father of your child, because he can't live with and support you, so that you can stay at home with your child, and you start believing he's damaged, as well, 'cause of his past as an addict/orphan. Your future is your future, though, so it doesn't depend on him. It depends on you, deciding that you're going to be a stay-at-home, regardless of the fact that you're single. But how can you do that, if social services is dangling your kid infront of you, until you give up the fight to live your life your way, and live it their's instead? And how can you even give up living your life your way, and live it the way everybody else wants you to, if you can't even get a job to get the ball rolling in the first place? It's the economy. It's the fact that I'm in a suburb. It's the fact that you're not letting me move away from my mother. But all the courts see that as is an excuse, even though you've tried and failed many times.

So I finally had a dream about Gallagher's sister, Krista last night! I've dreamt of Gallagher's dad, and Krista and Amanda's mom, and even Amanda a couple times, but never Krista. I can't remember where we were, but she was telling me how Amanda was working at a laundry mat, and so I said, "Oh, so she cleans, and you cook". And she said, "That's right" and half-smiled. I showed her Gallagher's Santa picture, and instead of being a bitch and refusing to look at it, or blaming me for getting him taken, or being more concerned about a trip than him, she looked at it and said, "Oh, is he ever cute!". Maybe we were at her restaurant, but it was a lot bigger than the restaurant where she works, so I don't know. I also had a dream, that she wrote in her blog about visiting her dad at the rehab, but she wasn't in it. I was only reading about her visits in her blog. She was bashing everybody there, 'cause it was more like a war battlefield, like they were in boot camp, instead of rehab, though, and I guess, in the dream, she was anti-war. And I went there, but just saw Bob in the doorway, and then he went back inside, and I didn't go up to him. I just left.

Then, I had another dream, where I gave birth to a little girl named Berlin, who was 6 lbs, 6 ounces and 33 inches long, lol! I didn't have a natural birth, or an epidural, but took Advil, instead and, it helped, to a point where I was just able to walk out of the delivery room as soon as I had her. I didn't have her with me, when I walked out of the delivery room, but I didn't walk out of the hosptial, either. I waited at the doors, and my mom met me there, with Berlin in her arms. It wasn't the same hospital I gave birth to Gallagher in. Then, I think, my Mom and Berlin went home, so Berlin could be introduced to Gallagher, and I went to get a massive flower tattoo on my ankle/foot. And Johnny picked me up in his van afterwards, and Bob and Amanda were also in the van with him. They were in the front seat, I was in the back. We drove by a dog farm, and I wanted one of the dogs they put in shows over there, and Bob even said he'd like a dog, too, but I guess I phoned Mom from the van and she said 'No' :( Johnny dropped Amanda and Bob off first, and I asked if they wanted to just come over, instead, to meet Gallagher and Berlin. Bob said, "Can't, I'm busy"(I'm assuming Berlin was his child, as well; oh, shit!) I was frying scrambled eggs in a kitchenette in the backseat, but there was a sink right under the frying pan, so whenever Johnny would turn the corner, the eggs would go down the drain, before they were finished frying, lmao!!

GO TO MY LIVE JOURNAL USER INFO, TO DONATE TO MY "HELP US APPEAL A PGO THAT WAS GRANTED TO CHILD WELFARE" FUND. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH :) www.youtube.com/gallagherromeosmom is the site with all the videos on it of my parenting.



WHAT CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES HAS COST US, FINANCIALLY(SO FAR):

$5,000 - On the lawyer we have retained currently, because, again, Legal Aid turned us down

$4,300 - For Lesley Cooney-Burk to read transcripts and represent us in court twice, because Legal Aid turned us down

$2,600 - For transcripts(since, you guessed it, Legal Aid turned us down for this, too!)

$1,056 - The amount of income my Mom lost, by having to miss work for court dates/other appointments

$184 - For parking downtown during court appearances

$200 - Gas to and from court SIXTEEN times, to and from EIGHT meetings with lawyers, to and from two appointments with Lila for counseling, to and from two appointments with Maria Filyk for a mental health assessment/counseling, to and from the first parenting assessment appointment with Sally During(Child and Family "Services" only spent $450 on my transportation by cab to the rest of the assessments), because they claimed the only resources they could find were downtown or in the Northeast, even though they knew we were in the SOUTHeast

$144 - Once we started driving to the train station and taking the train to court(not much of a difference in cost, though, huh?)

$50 - Gas to and from Child And Family Services buildings TEN times(they switched social workers, thinking the new social worker's office was closer to us, but it's actually nearly two miles further, DUH!!)

TOTAL = $13,534

PLEASE, please, please CONTRIBUTE to my CAUSE!! My Dad was working at Home Hardware at the age of SIXTY-NINE, until a bike accident deemed him DISABLED! My Mom suffers from ULCERATIVE COLITIS, now, because of all the STRESS Child And Family "Services" has put us through, and is still having to work EIGHT HOUR days at Wal-Mart at the age of SIXTY-ONE to make end's meat! Child And Family "Services" forced me to QUIT MY JOB at Jolly Good's Candy Stop, because my boss was short-staffed, and said, "Either you work the shifts that are on the schedule, or you quit", and Child Services told me, if I DIDN'T complete the Parenting Assessment when it was convienient FOR SALLY DURING, they'd have to APPREHEND Gallagher! Even though I DID complete the Parenting Assessment, he was STILL apprehended!!

Sorry that my first post in awhile will have to be a vent, but I'm going to lose my mind or kill myself, if I don't write about it. Fair enough? Yeah, so it was going to be a really depressing day, 'cause I had to take a shower before my exercise, and I had to make a meal for Gallagher the night before, and mom had a day off and was going to have to go to an early doctor's appointment, so I was scared that I would get woken up and, therefore, not get enough sleep for this full day. Another reason why it was going to be so full, aside from the shower was, a visit with Gallagher, instead of tomorrow, when he usually comes over, which explains why I had to make his meal the night before. And, then, after he left, I had to do yoga and I'm going through garbage here in a bit, too. But I had a cool shower, so it didn't tire me out as much, and I made Gallagher laugh a lot during the visit, so it went well, so I was in a pretty good mood. Half the things on my to-do list were complete, and I still had energy and felt okay. Oh, and she didn't end up waking me up, when she got up early, either, so that was good, too! Then, before my exercise, she threw another one of her tantrums, and I tried to ignore it, 'cause she told me to, 'cause she was functioning on five hours of sleep, so she said that's why she was acting the way she was. But it made me kind of anxious through my exercise. And I also tried not to make a big deal out of the visit being on the same day as my exercise, even though my arms took a beating from lifting him, so it was really difficult to do some of the poses in the video. I ignored it until...I couldn't do my usual eight push-ups at the end, 'cause my arms said, "Enough!" :( Then, I thought, okay, I'll still try to ignore it, and maybe exercise again on Sunday to make up for it, but then I asked my mom when she was working, and she said Thursday and Friday, so there goes that plan out the fucking window! I think, I'm beginning to become obsessed with exercise and weight-loss again, 'cause Gallagher's gone, so I'm trying to control what I can't when it comes to him. I got down to 140 and stayed there for like seven months, and now I've gained weight again :( Maybe it's the heat, or maybe it's the fact that my fat, Ukrainian mother HAS TO buy groceries she DOESN'T NEED!! Anyway, so after exercise, just a little while ago, she starts threatening to sell the house again, and saying it's 'cause she can't live with a bipolar daughter. I'm bipolar, 'cause I want to exercise, sing and practice drums on a regular basis, but take the weekends off?? That sounds more like OCD to me, especially since I want the windows closed during these activities. The only one that sounds bipolar is her, accusing everyone else of having problems during a fight that she started. Yeah, it's still going on, after all these years *sigh* And, if she didn't get Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday off from her job, she wouldn't be bothered by me, now, would she? She acts like it's perfectly normal, though, 'cause that's apparently how Wal-Mart works their schedule, even though I've heard of people working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and getting Sunday and Monday off. Also, I read up on bipolar, and one of the things that stops psychotic episodes from transpiring is, getting proper rest. So, last night, she didn't, and then she acts up, but it's me that's bipolar? And she calls me names like "stupid" and "retarded", and then when I want to say something like, "I know it's not only me, 'cause there are some parents that have children that live at home 'til they're forty, and the reason they do is, 'cause their parents are more easy-going and calm", she leaves the room and won't even let me talk AKA gives me the silent treatment! The silent treatment is a form of abuse, so... She wants to move to Saskatchewan and live in an apartment, too, even though she didn't collect enough unemployment this time around when she went in for an operation(she's having another in October), and my dad says he's not going to give her as much money anymore, if she kicks me out, so GOOD LUCK Mom!!

P.s. She randomly decided that she's going to plug the answering machine in in the living room again, even though Gallagher is still very much interested in buttons. And, while she's plugging in said answering machine, she unplugs my computer in the process and it took awhile to get it working again. I was scared it wouldn't, actually. Keep in mind, I spent a whole week fixing it not even a month ago, so she was totally going to pay for the damage, if there was any! Then, when I was unplugging my own computer after such an incident, she thought I was unplugging her answering machine, so anxiously, she questions, "What are you doing?! What are you doing?!" and tries to forcefully guide my hand away from the site, so then I slapped her, 'cause she was really getting on my nerves point. And, in return for slapping her, she says she's going to tell the courts I'm not fit to raise Gallagher, so I told her I wasn't going to even allow her in the court room. Craaazy lady!

People wonder why I'm so negative toward them. If I so much as ask a question, they call me names, don't include me in their cliche and talk shit about me behind my back. Same with the social workers. There was something "off" about me, according to them, too. So they take my kid away, just to prove their worth as the self-conscious, two-bit bitches they are! That's what it all boils down to in the end: being self-conscious and jealous. Jealous of the fact that I do what I want, because I don't care what people think, and they can't do what they want, because they do care. Furthermore, Tiffany added me first on Facebook to begin with, and I never once commented on her statuses, until she said something rather out of line to me. And I'm dillusional? Sad how people can't remember what they do, and take out their shitty luck and lives on people that clearly don't need to be knocked down any further. Even if I am a bit off, I'm still human. I have a beating heart, blood running through my veins and feelings, too, Goddamnit! When a woman's son passes away, most people, with couth, who aren't always on the defensive and clearly still stuck in their high school years, would show compassion toward them. Even if they act irrational, kind people realize that, the death of their son has taken a lot out of them and are often more than happy to just look the other way. Seriously, think about this. If your friend's son died, would you go over to her house, knock on her door and, when she opens it, yell, "You're such a dumbass!". Not if you're mature, you wouldn't. You seem to think all of you are so mature, because you put your child's needs ahead of your own. But there's more to being a parent than being completely selfless. By attacking me on Facebook yesterday, all you're showing your children is, it's alright to talk shit about someone that's different from you behind their back. And it's alright to ring a woman's doorbell, and yell, "You're such a dumb ass!", right after she's lost a son. Awfully disrespectful. I didn't say, "Hey, Tiffany, how could you leave your kids unattended, while you take a nap, you piece of shit?!", did I? No, I asked, "You leave your children unattended, while you take naps?", because of the way things were written in her status. A mature individual would not name call, especially when the comment is not directed at them and they do not know the person asking the question. They would stay out of it, while the person the comment is directed at says, "Is that what it sounded like? I would never do such a thing! My mother watches them, should I need a nap". See? No argument. Pretty sad how I have to coach girls, who are two years older than me and mothers, as well, on appropriate social conduct... Then, Megan defends Tiffany, because Tiffany is doing the best she can, with a chronic condition and two children to raise alongside it. But she wouldn't dare defend the fact that, I can't look after my son, while he's sick, because I have a chronic condition also, known as emetophobia. Why can't Tiffany just "get over" her fibromayalgia, like I can supposedly just "get over" my emetophobia? I was told by my doctor that, fibromayalgia is a psychological condition, just like emetophobia. Hmmm. And social services talks about the welfare of children, yet they're taking completely innocent two years olds away from their natural mothers, causing lasting psychological damage. And the saddest part? They're really not doing any better as mothers, because they're teaching THEIR children that it's alright to discrimintate against someone; it's alright to hurt people, who suffer from something that's beyond their control. Something that they did not bring upon themselves; something they were likely born with.

Imaginative, creative, stubborn, crazy, disiplined, impulsive, compassionate, shy, curious and brave.

The fucktard species has already evolved to take our place. Didn't anyone receive the memo?

Some people are sooo stupid!! I honestly can't believe my eyes! Today was so ficticious to me... First, my Jehovah Witness ladies came for a visit. We read another chapter out of their book that outlines the bible. I didn't invite them in to read it, 'cause I believe in this religion. I only do it to learn more about different religions, 'cause truth be told, sometimes I feel bad about not being religious. My mom's angelican and my dad's lutheran, but we only went to church on special occasions. It's not that I don't believe in anything, though. I'm spiritual. You obviously can't be spiritual, if you're Jehovah Witness, however... So we discussed how Jesus resurrected Lazarus, and my question was, "If Jehovah Witnesses believe that nothing happens to you when you die, you just become unconscious and don't enter any kind of spiritual realm, then, how could Lazarus have heard Jesus or God, when they prayed for him to come back to life?". And, "If he'd already been dead for four days, his body would've started decomposing, so how could his body have gone back to the state it was in before his death, without him first transitioning from fetus to baby to child to adult?".

And they're all, "'Cause God and Jesus have special powers. They can recreate the body of a person who died, and in order for them to be resurrected, they can't be living in a spiritual realm. Resurrection means that they're brought back to life, so they'd have to be dead". And I said, "The body would have to be dead, but the spirit almost needs to live on, in order to hear that the person ressurecting them wants them to return to the earth. Resurrection could just mean, God or Jesus have the power to start the person's heart back up, couldn't it?". But, apparently, after being dead for four days, Lazarus didn't elaborate on what it's like on the other side, which automatically means there isn't one. "Maybe he kept it to himself" I supplied. They believe what they believe, 'cause it's written in the bible. If it's written in the bible, it must be true and the way God intended it to be. But I argued, "God or Jesus didn't write the bible themselves, though". To which they replied, "No, thirty of his disciples did, but he told them all exactly what to write". "Did he tell them all exactly what to write in person?". "No, he told them what to write in spirit form". "But how can that be, if there's no such thing as life after death?". "Well, God, Jesus and their angels were never human. They were always spirit creatures, so they're the only ones". Buuullshiiit!!

Plus, a couple weeks back, they talked to me about how, mediums aren't actually getting their information from the deceased. They're getting their information from the demons who work for the devil. The devil wants you to doubt God, and he knows everything about everyone that has died, so he just pretends to be the person you want to get in contact with, and that's bad, 'cause it makes you waste your money and gives you false hope or something. Well, sorry, but to me, "The demons are trying to get you to doubt God, and they're pretending to be your dead loved ones, as well" sounds more ficticious to me than someone being able to talk to the dead. And another thing that sounds more far-fetched than being able to talk to the dead is, that a demon possessed the body of a serpent, in order to tell Eve to disobey God and eat fruit from the tree he told her not to eat from.

Another thing that doesn't add up that happened today is, Jenna came over to have me sign a piece of paper, asking the judge to take counseling off the court order. Now, social services must have bugged me for about six months to complete the parenting asessment I recently did finally complete, 'cause they wanted to know what kind of reccomendations would come out of it. And they were hoping to follow through on these reccomendations, too. So was I, after having to get up at seven in the morning, once a week for a consecutive number of months. They almost also convinced me to take time off work for them. But the first thing Jenna said, once she received the report, detailing Sally's reccomendations was, "I'm not going to tell you you can't date". That was one of the reccomendations, though. And the other was counseling, which she's, now, taking off the court order, even though it was never completed! I repeat, some people are sooo stupid!! What the fuck's the matter with this world lately?!

No. Nothing's changed too much ;)

And PAUL just wants to lay down and die?!?! Get a load of this! Okay, so I came back from the last parenting asessment today, with not quite as good news as I'd hoped :( Turns out, they're not only stopping me from leaving Alberta, without written permission(only 'til June 7), they're also stopping me from DATING!? My 'dad' is about as irate as I am, which is good. Means I'm not crazy or, at the very least, he's just as crazy :-D Personally, I think, it has nothing to do with my mental health. I think, something may have happened to Sally, when she was small, which made her become a child developemental psychiatrist in the first place. These people take out all the injustices they've faced on everyone else. They tell other people that, 'cause they're lacking sleep with a young child, they're stupid, 'cause their cognitivie ability isn't as quick as it should be. Yours wouldn't be either, on lack of sleep. She doesn't know what I'm going through, or what I've gone through, as far as lack of sleep is concerned, either. It's been going on for like five years. So, in retrospect, anyone's cognitive ability would be a little shabby, after five years of horrible sleep. Your mood isn't exactly top notch, either, when you've been whipped by your mom. And, when you're depressed and forced into doing something, like taking a cognitive test, of course, you're not going to get a very high mark. But I am not stupid.

She also thinks I have a problem with planning ahead and thinking in order. Is that why I checked my ovulation cycle and brought cereal bars along with me to snack on, when I lost my virginity? 'Cause I'm no good at planning ahead? Is that why the hotel I stayed at in Jersey was right across from Rockaway Mall, as well as the grocery store? Is that why I planned I'd, first, get my hair done by Pattie, then go out for dinner and have her listen to a tape of my singing? You'd think someone who didn't care about the outcome, or who was a stalker wouldn't go to the trouble of dragging a Karaoke machine through three airports. The only reason I thought Pattie would be accepting of my visit, too, is 'cause I'd heard all these stories from Meg about how she'd befriended soap stars and singers. Also, I thought, 'cause I was young and an aspiring singer myself, she could just give me some encouragement and we could hang out. But, according to Sally, I'm supposed to know not to do certain things, 'cause everybody's supposed to have the same reaction to something. That's realistic. It's not, though, seeing as how different people react differently to certain situations. You're also supposed to think positive, or affirm something to happen, if you want it to. Yet, if you follow Sally's advice, that's just a load of crap. You're hoping something will happen that "realistically" can't.

Now, back to the dating thing... How does she expect me not to make the same mistakes again, if she's not letting me date? The whole reason I have a baby and am a single mom is, 'cause I refused to date, having a one-night-stand, instead. So, all that's going to happen is, I'm going to say, "Well, I had sex, but that's not going against the rules, 'cause I wasn't dating the guy or anything!". Oh, and she thinks, 'cause I'm an only child, I wasn't socially corrected enough. "You look so stupid, when you bring your dolls to restaurants. I wish you wouldn't... You're embarassing me" - 'Nana'(remember her?) It's just not fair! How can I become more socially involved, when it comes to parenting groups and the like, when most of those parents have spouses or boyfriends? How cruel to have something waved infront of your nose, like that.

"Make self do what you know needs to be done" was also noted. I mentioned that I'd been doing that a lot, since my mom's been in the hospital, and I feel a lot better about myself for it. A lot more confident that I could be on my own with a baby, in otherwords. To which she replied, "Well, we'll see if you keep that up. Right now, though, I wouldn't want to see you on your own". How can I ever become a competant parent, if I don't try a little more each day? Try things that scare me, challenge my strength as a person. That is the whole point of all these tests and asessments, is it not? To get me independant finally? Bottom line, I'm social and motivated enough to get groceries, and take a bus to Wal-Mart to shop for other household items/browse. I banter with the cashiers at these grocery stores, and bus/cab drivers all the time. I'm not totally comfortable, but I don't mind doing it. "It has to do with the welfare of the child"... Funny, I think, my ability as a parent shouldn't be judged on whether or not I'm a little shy. After all, 'nana' was a recluse, and 'mama's a social butterfly! What does that tell you?

These psychiatrists aren't only swell at taking away the "get up and go" of your vehicle, freedom, sex life, physical and mental health, though... No, why stop there? They're also profound at trying to crush dreams! An aspiring doctor was told by Sally that his/her dreams weren't realistic, 'cause they were barely passing high school. So? Who's to say they can't get learning assistance and strive harder? She supposedly has other clients who have tried the acting circuit in California, after getting themselves established in commercials here, and found it far too difficult. Who's to say THEY have enough passion to make it in California? Who's to say they're willing to go to the lengths that I am, in order to obtain citizenship through marriage? Why did it happen for Craig Ferguson, if it can't happen for me? "Social support is too narrow". I have 25 people on my Facebook Friends' List, all of whom I've been close with in person at one time or another. And the only reason we grew apart is, 'cause I moved around a lot as a child. And so I'm being punished for it? Being forced to find new friends, so that I'll have a support system again? There's such a thing as a babysitter, no?

I supposedly haven't improved, when it comes to responding to Gallagher's cues, either. But, if that's based on what Sally saw, then, it's a false accusation. The only reason I distracted him with different toys than the ones he was focussed on, and tried cuddling him when he didn't want to be cuddled is, 'cause I wanted to seem like a good parent and not just sit there. Anybody would react similiarly, when nervous. Scheduling was also a problem, 'cause she obviously can't just stop at a couple strikes! I have to get more on top of that, if I'm going to be a responsible parent. She's thinking, doctors and dentist appointments. But I've got a feeling, doctors and dentists would discuss a time/day that fits both your busy schedules, and be a little more accomedating to couples who work on alternate days, 'cause they can't afford childcare.

My mental health is also in question, 'cause I can't hold down employment. Uh, yeah, I could, if Calgary had a better transportation system. If it didn't take two hours by bus to get there, and two hours back, when it would take you like 20 minutes by car, tops. They should have a bus that only goes around 130th, McKenzie Towne and Prestwick. And another bus that only goes to Douglas Dale/Anderson. Case closed on that topic, 'cause it's just human stupidity AGAIN *rolls eyes* Sally claims to know a lot of people who manage to catch the bus to work, even if they have kids, to which I responded, "They obviously don't spend much time with their kids, then". I mean, what we've been discussing all along is, in fact, a PARENTING asessment, right? Good parenting doesn't mean being on public transportation all day, while a nanny does all the dirty work at home! Plus, all those people that say, "That's just the way it is", or "You've got to make a living somehow"? Yeah, but you don't have to have the most expensive car or house, and the largest, most trendiest toys for your child. Quality time is far more important, if you ask me. These people obviously haven't heard of subsidized housing. Okay, okay... I'm finally finished my rant ;)