falling upward

SO, i meant to post this back in FEB when i made it past my 6 month probationary period for my job as a custodian. somehow time got away with me and now i am posting about it. ooopsy.
but yea, I have been at my job for more than 6 months, it has felt longer on some days.
it's a bit ironic that i write about it today cos i took the day off. I woke up feeling like shit on a stick and could barely even eat. so i called in and told my boss i wasnt coming in today. I am so grateful that I have sick days that allow me to do that.

I am not sure what caused my horrible nausea and diarhea, i am guessing it might have been a combo of eating a partial DQ blizzard along with scattered handfuls of easter M&M's throughout the day. so maybe sugar overload? i dont know. i know i have not have the M&M's today and i ate just a wee bit more of my leftover blizzard from last night.

I also think i need to go to bed way earlier than i have been. i am sure that isnt helping my sitch.

anyway, i did go back to bed and had some weird ass dreams, something featuring a kind of water slide and my best friend, Bruce was there and we got separated on the ride and i ended up d going a slightly different route on the waterslide but eventually caught up to him. it was just so wacky.
okay well thats my long over due post. hope to be back here sooner than two months.

me and hunny blazed through the series, Californication, which stars David Duchovny. It is such an out there show, and not out there as in alien out there, been there, done that, but just some out there situations that you go, no way!
Of course it takes place in southern california, which is my home even though i no longer live there. it made me miss it so much though that i cant wait to go back. being away so many years though i wonder if i can stomach the hella crazy traffic again? or the rude douchebag/baggets.. i dont know.

any who it had some great characters too. I think for the first time i had man crush on David Duchovny. i am sure thats its cos he played this very charming albeit super flawed but well meaning character, still, the man was a woman magnet. I have never been able to make the ladies gravitate into my force field but it's nice to dream and live vicariously while watching this show.

I know I didnt write much in this journal during the year. most of it was because the first half of the year i was trying to recover from my bad back episode and then my diabetes diagnosis. I then finally got a job working for C&R but that turned out to be a bust since that job description had changed from what it was when i was on the other side as a driver for Emzee. but i hung in there and stuck with it and applied for other jobs and finally got one working for WSU as a custodian. It's not my dream job by any means but it is doable and it pays way better than most jobs i've had in long time.

I am very grateful that i have health insurance and that it covers chiro and acupuncture. for some reason my muscles are very tight and have been causing me lots of pain. I still have the tingly sensation in my left middle finger and sometimes whole left hand, which makes playing bass kinda uncomfortable. at least i have some feeling in it though so i must still count my blessings.

I am doing my best to make time to make some music, it is hard cos after i come home from work, i am either so tired that i just nap or just wanna do nothin but surf the net and watch netflix.

this has to change and i am doing my best to take baby steps to change it. i know I HAVE to do something creative in my free time, it is imperative cos my sanity depends on it. so even me writing this journal entry is something creative cos i am putting down my thoughts and i need to get my words out, either in song or journaling.

okay so here is looking to the future to a better brighter 2015 and i hope all of you prosper as well and i look fwd to reading about your adventures in the new year.

today after having 4 days off, i arrive to work and check the woman's restroom, even though no one has used them since last weds, but i check regardless, cos its habit and people were still in the building on that day after we left, well some one and im gonna say it was an international student, decided to shit in a bag instead of in the toilet and put the bag into the trash, where it sat for 4 fucking days and when i opened that pooper of a Pandora box, i about met my maker.
why in the fuck do they do that shit? im sorry but didnt someone talk to this person about this fucked up custom of theirs? i will say this at least they put it in the trash. Earlier in the year some one had shit on a paper towel and left it on the floor of the stall, so progress i guess? *Shakes head*

yea that was NOT the best way to start my monday after my vacation that's for sure. after that the day was pretty boring and i just counted down the hours til i could come home. there were maybe 3 people besides my co-worker who were in the bldg today. it's just bullshit the we had to work today since it was a fucking ghost town. on the bright side i get paid to show up and its easy money but just i cant help but think i cold be at home doing something better with my time.

last night i could not fall asleep for the world, i tossed and turned and couldn't turn my mind off. i dont know how i finally fell asleep but glad i did.

my back has been hurting like hell and i am glad that i am going to the massage therapist tomorrow cos my body needs a good pummeling.

ok i have ranted enough for one post. oh yea and Christmas was good, me an hunny finally got a tree for the first time in all the years we have been together and yes the cat tried to eat the tree but she did not tackle it, thank the good lord. hehe.

ok, its past my bedtime and i hope i can just knock out into la la land.

I have been meaning to write in this thing for awhile now but always got distracted. I've been pretty quiet cos I feel like there's not much exciting things in my life but I think i just need to write for my own sake.

So, life as a custodian is not great. sure there are stories of how college students are such slobs and you think they were in preschool rather than college but i will save those stories for another time.

I just wanna say that I AM grateful that i have a good paying job and its relatively easy to some extent but it's not my dream job by any means and some days I just dont wanna be there, esp now since it's so close to xmas and all of the students are on break til jan 12! so it will be quite dead at work but now this means that us custodians will be able to clean more thoroughly now that the students aren't around.

this past week seemed like the longest week since i have been there. it took forever to get to Friday, i swear.
anyway, theres certainly lot of eye candy and i have to make sure not to ogle, i dont wanna be the creepy janitor that's for sure.

There is this one grad student/ teacher who reminds me of the Wendys girl on the commercials and also Alison Hannigan from Buffy.
I really get some kind of vibe from her and for most of this semester i didnt know her name and now i do and i slap myself cos It makes perfect sense. her name is Heather, which I probably wouldve guessed if the year was 1990 or so, cos i was really into the movie, Heathers and shannen doherty's character was named Heather and she was a red head, not natural but still. and so for a while i called every redhead i saw, heather, yea, it was bad. any who, she is super sweet.

anywho, so yea, i am looking fwd to some time off this xmas. i really wanna do some music and i have to just kick myself in the ass to do it and not give a fuck. just as long as i am putting down tracks and it sounds decent.

i really wanna write more but am feeling too lazy. maybe it's the afternoon lull, i dont know. just wanted to make a post to say i am alive and what not.

So tonight hunny said she is on a journey and i said,"arent we all" the other day i found another old journal of mine and decided to peruse through it a bit. i have also been reading my Pete Townsend autobiography, which i got for my birthday. though i am a slow reader, when i pick it up i am immersed in it. i am find inspiration and comfort in it. it's nice to know that pete has his insecurities too.

I always seem to be absorbing stuff around me, trying to mold my own ideas, build my own fires, many false starts, for once i want my ideas to burn brightly and be harnessed like an olympic torch. feel the warmth of my creations and for others to enjoy the heat too.

so the past couple of days i have been having some interesting dreams. the first one had Taylor swift in it. we were hanging out by some kind of wall and climbed on top of a big dumpster so we could see some parade go by. we were just hanging out and laughing, it was nice.

the last night, had two dreams, one had me and hunny going to some secret location to smoke pot. it was in a basement of this apt complex and and we had to be careful that we weren't followed there by cops or undercover fuzz. it was just so weird, walking down stairs in what seemed like forever before we got to this room which, was very disapointing. no carpet ot anything onthe walls just a bare room and a light, you did your thing then u left. very strange.

the last one had me and Madonna riding homemade box scooters up a huge hill and half way up i had to walk mine the rest of the way cos i just didnt have enough energy and really dont know how i walked the rest of the way up. Madonna of course got to the top of the hill no prob but she didnt rub it in my face. she did ask me who helped me build it and i said my uncle.

so what is with me and hanging out with pop stars? pretty cool but now im all curious, like is there a reason for this.. only time will tell i supose.

my horoscope was super spot on, today did turn out to be my lucky day. i will write about the details tomorrow, it's late and i need to get some decent sleep.

The other day while listening to a back street boys song on the radio, it got me thinking to how pop songs in the 80's didn't all sound alike, up until about 1986 or so then the dance pop that came out was all sound alike s for sure.
but i was thinking of one band in particular, Duran Duran, and a particular song, the reflex. just how ingenious the remix was and how much i was into that song and that band.

well just then BSB song ended and i about pooped myself. Freaking Duran's reflex song came on! now cmon, what are the chances in that happening, seriously. it was like a sign or something. i was tripping out for the rest of the day. i also bought a scratch off for hunny and she one back the 2 dollars i spend on it so that was awesome.

later that night on the way back from karaoke, hunny asked if i could speed up once i was able to cos she had to pee really bad.
i didn't think i was going that fast and i saw a car off to the side of the road and slowed down just in case it was a cop and sure enough it was. i was hoping i had slowed down enough before i passed him and i saw the car pull out from the road and then my heart sank, fucking lights turned on and "boo woo" son of a bitch you gotta be kidding me. i was so mad and my heart was pounding, i didn't need this right now, im trying to get a job in which my driving record needs to be clean, now i am fucked, i thought.
the officer said i was going like almost 10 over the speed limit which at the time was still 45, i briefly contested that i didn't think i was going that fast (john shut up dude, dont argue with the cop for fucks sake)
anyway i was totally freaking out and hunny was trying to calm me down then he came back and said, well i will let you off with a verbal warning, watch your speed. i thanked him and was so damn relieved.
i thought for sure i was toast! something was aligned in the stars for me to not get a ticket, i was like, thank you god thank you. oh and we made it home in time and hunny didn't pee herself.

over the years I have had a few reoccurring dreams, one big one was that i was at Six flags magic mountain, and in the dream i wanted to work my way up to going on the newly opened roller coasters but by the time i got to them, the park would be closing and thus i never get to ride the new coasters.
Well that all chanced the other night, I started the dream by going straight to the new coaster and as we were approaching the first hill, the track moved and got all twisted, I was very nervous, a part of me didn't want to look once we got going but i was gonna force my self to look anyway. we turned a corner and suddenly we were suspended over water and it kinda resembled the part in pirates of the Caribbean where u are coasting through the bayou. any who i got this bad feeling like something demonic was about to pop out or something but it never did and also i dont remember much else of the ride, in fact i saw myself running back to the ticket booth to pay for the ride ( in the dream you pay after you ride, strange i know)

I talked to the ticket lady and she asked me to watch her post while she went to the bathroom, then i noticed other patrons and they seemed like they were from the 50's, their style of dress and how they talked, i was excited cos it validated that time travel existed.

then last night i had a really weird dream in which i was shot in the chest but i saw little blood and the people around me gave me aspirin to help slow down my chance of dying. so me and a few other people who had been shot were laying on the ground awaiting the ambulance but it never showed up and we didn't die. cut then to me being at my old childhood apartment, which i also had re occurring dreams about.. anyway i was there and i wanted to go inside but there were these men who were about my age but i seemed like i was like a teen, and they had these sticks in there hand, doing like a mini sword fight and i had one too but i was trying to use mine to unlock the door so i could get inside and take a look at my old apartment and see how it had chanced. one guy knew what i was doing and thwarted my ploy.

so now i am wondering why i had two dreams, two different nights, that use to be reoccurring dreams for me back in the day? oh well it was too trippy and i had to get them down somewhere cos i am still tripping out