Without order nothing can exist without chaos nothing can evolve

Why the fuck do I keep caring...

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i really cant describe how happy i feel and how weird it feels to have this feeling b

Really life has been nothing but amazing for me. I couldn't have a better one than what I have now. I have amazing friends and a best friend who is beyond amazing. I have a handsome and wonderful boyfriend, who is the entire world to me and I never wanna live without him. He is my solid rock and will be forever more, the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think its fair to say that everyone knows I am completely content with him and that nothing can come between us. Nope, not birdbitch/cunt, not other people or things, NOTHING. I love the school I'm at and I love the classes I'm taking so far and I love my mother and father sooo much. I wish my mother were getting better but thats alright. She's a fighter and thats all I can ask of her to do.

There are some people I will pray for who will learn that some shit you just can't understand. And maybe one day, karma will strike again and ruin their lives. Not only that, they'll be begging for forgiveness and begging for another chance. You know who you are **cough cough the trio faggssss and another certain person** You will regret EVERYTHING that you've done and I will just laugh at you for being the faggots that you are and make you eat shit before ever becoming friends with you again. You've had your one chance and though i've done NOTHING to you four, you are certainly NEVER getting another chance with me or Matthew. 'NOW YOU FUCKED UP!!'~Abe Lincoln.

i love my life so far. and i know things will only get better from here

screw louisville

A To Z

A - Avail​able - i choose to be alone

B - Best - Friends- Timmychan/Jenni/Wes/Mer

C - Crush​ - my sister, she must be put down!

D - Dad'​​​s Name - steve

E - Easie​st Perso​n To Talk To - Timmy/Jenni/Wes

F - Favor​ite Band - alkaline trio, avenged sevenfold, SOAD

G - Gummy​ Bears​ Or Worms​ - both are quite good

H - Homet​own - Lou'Evil, KY

I - Instr​ument​ - vocal, piano

J - Job - maybe taco hell/KFC

K - Kids - perhaps.
in a 234729384796 years

L - Longe​st Car Ride - umm....that i can think of? to the gray

M - Milk Flavo​r - i'm a soy person

N - Numbe​r Of Sibli​ngs - 4 (3 bros, 1 hellish sis)

O - One Wish - to get out of the ville.

​
P - Phobi​as - can't think of any. oh bunnies.


Q - Favor​ite Quote​ - It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.
-v for vendetta

R - Reaso​n To Smile​ - knowing i'll be home one day.


S - Song You Last Heard​ - From Autumn To Ashes - Autumn's Monologue

T - Time You Woke Up -​ around 6:30am

U - Unkno​wn Fact About​ Me - i'm trying to change everything about myself

V - Veget​able - green beans w/ bacon and onion

W - Worst​ Habit​s - smoking cigarettes, drinking, saying no.


X - X-​​​Rays You'​​​ve Had - my lower back

Y - Your Favor​ite Food - sushi

Z - Zoo anima​l-​​ penguins

i need to find something to calm me down. i dont know whats wrong with me maybe i'm just excited to go back hom ebut at the same time i'm feeling strange. like my body is rejecting nearly everything at once. i just tried to eat some food but i ended up throwing it all up and it was horrible. i....blarhg i dont know.

a good weekend just past. i miss my friends though. i got to see timmychan, thack, and candace. met bill bill and sarah. and a few other great people. i miss that place so much <3 this upcoming weekend though will be the shit. i'm so ready for it honestly i really am but i dont want to be here in the ville for long. i hope it goes by really fast. i want to go back to the house and be there for timmy. hes a good guy he really is. one of my best guy friends. and believe me i dont have many of those anymore. *le sigh* i'll deal though. i still have my friends here. though there are some who are out of state who i miss terribly. anyway so.... i miss you guys and if you ever want to hang out or talk give me a call. i'm only a call or text away <3 502-408-6629

so this weekend was alright. i decided to just chill and call into work on sunday. i wasn't feeling well and i'm still not feeling well these days. i can officiall say that this weekend was better than most. i got two letters from sammy, equaling to 30 pages, along with another one the next day about 10-15 (i think), and i got a call from him on sunday. so it was a great weekend i believe. though i'm sick still and my stomach is literally rejecting everything i eat. so thats never good. but i'm going to be quiting my job soon. i can't handle the stress of school and work. i just can't. so i'm going to settle for working for my mom, and cleaning the house again. i'll just save up that way. i can do that. work is shit anyway and with the holidays happening, i dont want to miss out. plus with sammy coming home, if i quit work i'll be able to go to leitchfield on weekends, at least some and what not. i'll be able to do so much more with out worrying. ya know? i'm burned out. i thought a job is what i needed but i was wrong. it only causes me to stress out and fail at school. so thats not going to work. i'm going to be putting in my two weeks notice in soon and after that, who knows where i'll end up. maybe i can work on my resume and that way when i move, i'll have a better chance at shit. i can't stay here forever and i certainly can't handle this school. i got to see jenni this weekend too. i miss her a lot and it was fantastic seeing her again. god halloween is coming steadily closer. i'm so happy. blarrghhh it needs to come faster. but still its only 1 1/2 more weeks. blah! i gotta finish sammy's letter! craaaaappp!!!

Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
[x] Blond - $50
[] Black - $15
[] Bald - $5