Everything's Coming up Roses....

Well, I suppose that's the best it could have possibly gone....I'm for once at a loss for words.

[private]He likes me he likes me he likes me. the day couldn't possibly get better. and all these hard feelings were because everything had gotten miscommunicated.....i wonder how mum'll react....oh who cares, i'm just....happy[/private]

Susan, I've got so much to tell you....

I'm going to talk to Fred. This has gone farther than I could have imagined, and it's tearing me apart to see him act this way. So I'm taking Susan's advice and talking to him......

Though I'm not sure if the outcome will be good or bad.

Why am I so bloody nervous????

Well, I had a nice little chat with Susan....I'm so excited for her and George! They're getting married at the end of the month....and she's asked me to be a bridesmaid. I can't wait to see what dress she chooses for us to wear!

[private] He's going to be there....he'll most likely be best man....he'll be there at everything.....I've just remembered I told Sue I'd talk to him.....oh lord, how am I going to cope? why do I suddenly feel sick to my stomach?[/private]

I'm so excited!!!!!!

I really really really like Fred.....and I thought that he felt the same way back, but.....

Something's different, he's not friendly anymore.....he's taken to being very business-like toward me at work, unlike his usual happy state.

I just wish I knew what happened....we had so much fun playing quidditch. I was so sure that something might come out of it all....I guess I was wrong.

I got an owl from Brayden today....how exciting....i think

Katie-
I know we just met and all, but maybe we could go out for dinner sometime? Get to know each other better? You seemed like you were on a different planet when we met, so I hoped you would give me this chance....
Anyways, write me back later.
-Brayden

So now I'm at a loss of what to do. I have this feeling that I should give him a chance.....but why follow my head when my heart is roaming elsewhere? Maybe if I sleep on it for a few days or months I'll have a better answer.

In the meantime, I really need to find a hobby or something.....prehaps I'll get into quidditch again.

Surprisingly, I had a great time there. I mean, yea....Jessie or Kellan or I would say something on accident and Mum would burst into tears, but that's expected almost....anyways, that only happened three or four times. But there was something....different....about this trip. Mum had some friends over, the Johansons. They brought their 31 year old son, Brayden with them. He was really great. We talked a lot, and it was interesting.

[private] to be perfectly honest, it felt like Mum was giving me a sign. She wants grandchildren, I know, but is it really my fault she has none yet? why doesn't she try to set Kellan up with some girl? Why is it always me.....besides, the whole time I talked to Brayden....I was thinking about Fred.....I mean, I'm not sure what's going on, but I just felt something yesterday.....and oh gosh! these stupid stomach butterflies come back every time i think about him.....this is not fair. not at all I tell you! I don't now what to make of all this, but time will tell[/private]

*lets out a large yawn* I have so much to do tomorrow, so I am going to sleep now. G'night journal, g'night to anyone reading.....oh, and Fred if you're reading, thanks for letting me have the time off....Mum loved all of it.

I had a spiffing morning. I spent it with Fred. We played Quidditch, and then went out for breakfast. We went to the Sizzling Nikuba. It's this really great grill place, big on the whole meat thing, so breakfast foods are awesome there. We laughed a lot, and it was a great time.

[private] I still can't get it out of my head, some of the things he said. He asked if I was seeing someone, and I don't know why, but I just started.....I got so nervous! I'm not even sure why, but then he abruptly changed the subject. And.....oh gosh, I don't know anymore, I'm confused about all this. Even a mere thought about him, makes me feel dizzy and those bloody stomach butterflies.....ah well, time will tell if anything comes of it.[/private]

So I'm off to my parents tonight, and I'm torn between dreading it and looking forward to it.

oh gosh....i've been so excited with work lately I haven't had any time to update this! I absolutely love it there Fred!!!! Everything seems to be falling into place, but I feel terrible for neglecting the whole visiting my mum thing....

[private] honestly i don't know what to do anymore. It hurts mum for her to see me, because henry and I looked so similar and we were so close. but it hurts her if I don't visit. she needs me, but she doesn't....it also hurts for me to go home, and having to walk past the closed door that lead to his bedroom....and seeing all the pictures on the mantel....and just to see mum without the sparkle in her eyes and the smile on her face, she's like a ghost....after 10 years she still has no spirit. here on earth but not completely.....it hurts so much. [/private]

I'll ask off for next weekend and go for a visit.....she deserves to see me.

Well, i've done it! I talked with Fred today, and he offered me a job at King Arthur's Court! I've told Madam Rosemerta, and despite her sadness to see me go, she wished me luck.

I guess that was very kind of her, considering that was one less full time worker she had. Ah well, I needed to fly away from that place. Now I get to wear one of the skimpy</strike> interesting uniforms as well!

Note to self: Go by King Arthur's to talk to him sometime soon.

I just got a very peculiar owl.....I hope everything is okay.....

The party has been canceled....Which I suppose is alright, I wasn't very ready for it anyways.

I applied at Honeydukes and Gladrags today during my break. I really want to get out of the Three Broomsticks.

I hope I get another owl from  Susan soon.....I'm worried about her.