>>___Prisoner of The Flesh;

Jason is breaking up with me. He says I can’t give him the things he wants – moving, kids & being married. I knew this would come, I just knew it. I’m not just overreacting either – he’s been saying this for months and has bought a twin mattress and is apartment hunting, it’s over. I don’t think I know how to be single anymore…. I don’t WANT to be either…. I feel like my life is over….

[rant]

Last week my Grandma said she was going to “put money in my account for Christmas” despite my mailing a list to get ideas from and despite me hinting about my thoughts on gift cards/cash as gifts. I told her how impersonal I thought this was, even mentioning how she gives me money this way throughout the year so it’s not even “special” for Christmas. All her response amounted to was her complaining about being old and not wanting “to do this shit” anymore. I woke up today to find $200 transferred into my bank account. No call. No e-mail. No card. If I didn’t know she was planning this from last week, I’d not have even checked my account, or if I did for some reason, I’d have had no clue where a $200 cash deposit came from. What’s the point? Money doesn’t say “I thought long and hard about something that would make you happy and feel loved”. And if you have NO idea what I would like, why are you giving me anything anyhoo? If you don’t know me well enough, care enough to step out of your hermit hole to shop for an hour or two, or even order the items online without having to do more than type in your Visa Triple Titanium Uber Credit Card number, why bother? Does she not realize the money will most likely end up paying bills this way than anything else (IE. “Oh, look, I’m overdrawn – well, I guess I’ll have to use my CHRISTMAS money to pay it off. sigh” – Try doing that with the Wii she could have bought me.)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be greedy, ungrateful, etcetera. What I am doing is being pissed at all the gift-card/money -givers out there – who abuse this convenience designed to make boss-gift-giving and such easier – who should be putting thought into the gifts, not necessarily money even. It really makes me want to spend my love, time and effort on crocheting her the slippers I am hand making just for her foot shape. eye roll

[/end rant]

I just signed up with Skype as ChastityNM. I have a webcam now for the first time ever & I’d love to chat with anyone. Feel free to post your ID here, or e-mail it to me if you’d rather. : )

I really love this computer, it’s not as fancy as my old one, it was a Dell Inspiron 6000, this is a 1525, but, I really don’t think I even needed all the 6000 had. Also – I want to take the RAM, etc. from the old one and add it to this one if possible, so it may be even better in the long run.

I am grateful for…

• Jules1960 from Ravelry sending me aa snail mail card – just because! _{I’m in the Random Acts of Kindness group, so I wasn’t expecting it at all!}
• Realizing there are still kind, generous, thoughtful people in this harsh, selfish, idiotic world.
• Jason going to the grocery store & bringing home more peanut butter cookies. XD
• Pretty, pretty yarns
• Crocs brand slippers