Childfree Christians

Hey guys, I just joined this group. I'm a new college grad working in engineering. I have never wanted kids and I am having a hard time finding a young Christian man who shares that...its actually made it pretty difficult to find anyone. I was just wondering, I have limited knowledge/experience with this but, does anyone think that there are any out there? Just looking for a little hope, haha. Thanks

I just want to say how happy I am that I have found a community like this. It sometimes seems like I take blows from every direction: co-workers, friends, and family on the decision to not have children. It goes so far as to people sometimes have me believing what a horrible person I am for not wanting kids. My husband did initially want kids, but I laid it out in the very beginning that I do not want them, and that is unlikely to change. I have had people tell me he shouldn't have married me. We have other things we want to do with our child-free lives, such as work heavily in overseas missions. I feel like at least if I am not going to have kids, I should really do something with the "freedom" that gives me, and I feel a strong passion for anti-trafficking.

  I found this and many other sites dedicated to our "cause" after Googling "Childfree Christians" recently and thought I'd join for moral support. The needle-in-the-haystack prospect of finding a childfree Christian lady is sometimes a very depressing one. Let's keep one another in our prayers.

Thank you for being here. I thought my wife and I were alone. We've been married for 24 blissfully childfree years.

Let me tell you about me. My
hubby and I have no desire to have kids, while I still find then cute (I
adore my 7 nieces and nephews) my hubs finds them almost repulsive (I
have had to put him in check a few times when were around crying babies
and tots). We are both in are earlier 30s and we are quite fine living
life with out a screaming child around. We are lucky enough to have a
family who completely supports our decisions even my sisters who have a
bunch of their own say “it is not for everyone”. My Sister in Laws are
great about it to. Even the one who disparately wants one and can’t
doesn’t give me grief (wish I could give her my womb). Lets face it my
Mother is an adoring Grandparent but is pretty grateful not to have
another Christmas or Birthday present to buy.
But the worst cases come from co-workers (most who aren’t even
christian) try to convince me that I will want to change my mind (oh
this drives me insane). I told them if was 20 I could see you telling me
that but I am almost 32 now. They often forget how much older I am then
I look. I look about 22 (or so I been told). Many of them tried to talk
me out of having my hubs go through with the trim job (as a friend of
ours jokingly put it). I had my lead call us selfish. One insisted I
must be doing it because of my husband and that’s just not true we been
together for years and after dating man after man I realized the thought
of having a child horrified me.
Most of our
close friends are also supportive and NOW we belong to a church that
doesn’t have an “opinion” on the matter. My pastor hates getting caught
up on Dogma that isn’t quite clear in the bible and would probably get
testy if someone actually made us feel guilty and “unholy, selfish
people”. But I will say there is a bit of pause and silence with a
shocked look on there faces when I tell them my husband had vicitumy.
This was usually brought up because people insist “well if you have sex
kids will probably come and birth control isn’t 100%”. After getting
sick of hearing it we come right out and tell them “Ya Dan got snipped”.
Though most of the Christian world hasn’t been as calm and just
annoying about it like my church is. Many may even say most are
condemning. I know my our old church would still be trying to convince
to have kids and would probably keep the snip job a secret. Not all
objected to us not “wanting” kids but many tried to makes us think some
day we will change our minds. I had an old pastors wife (who has 8 kids
by the way) insist I would want them. She even said “Oh come work in the
nursery with me you will learn to love them.” The thought horrified me
and I explained to her I have been an aunt sense I was 11 I know what
kids are like and it is not (and mostly not if you ask me) warm and
fuzzy. She insisted I would and need to change my mind. I would also get
*well Kelly if you want to be a wife children come along with that”.
Then Dan and I started dating ,while still going there and taking on a
ton of church responsibilities because us single childless people have
that sort of time. We dated for 3 years and during I think what was our
2.5 year period left our church (for many unhealthy reasons that didn’t
revolve around not having kids) and went to our new church. We got
engaged about 6 months later and Married in February. While we keep in
touch with many of our old church friends and most of them we don’t talk
about that with except the few that are OK with our decision. Well
thanks for making this. There are not many of us out there (or at least
not coming out of our own closet if you will) and it is nice to see I am
not the only Freak who doesn’t wish to give birth.

Hi folks,

I've posted here a couple times before but it's been so long I should probably classify myself as a long-time lurker, first-time poster. I should also explain that while by my own definition I'm childfree, some consider me a fence sitter. Specifically, I wanted kids when I was younger, but as time passed and it didn't happen, I decided to combat the bitterness by embracing all the good things that come with non-parenthood (and, in my case, non-spousehood).

So it's been an interesting day for CF me. ( Collapse )

I mostly just posted here to vent, I think, so thanks if you read the teal deer above. But I am curious; how do you handle it when your acquaintances through church are primarily married with kids, and when they really are trying to be good parents? You don't want to cut them out of your life just for being parents, but at the same time, it's so hard to relate and can get so uncomfortable. Any suggestions?

I want to express my deepest gratitude and thanks to the creator of this group. Most of my friends and people I know are Christians, which makes it nearly impossible to find anyone who accepts, much less understands, how I feel. On the other hand, most CF groups do not subscribe to Christian or religious/spiritual thinking which means I only have the CF issue in common with them.

Hi, everyone! I'm magyargirl3 , and I'm glad to have found a place like this for Christians who don't want children.

I'm 19 and going to a Christian (PCUSA) college. Amazingly, my classmates couldn't care less about my not having kids (well, there are a few notable exceptions, but they're mostly freshmen, and, as such, don't know me really well). However, two of my professors scoff at it. Both are men, but it would be just as infuriating to have female profs say it. What's even more infuriating? One of said profs has never been married or had children, yet he acts as if it's inevitable that I'll want babies. Newsflash, buddy: I had that baby craze when I was 16...and I didn't go out and get pregnant, and I got over it.

I go to an area Lutheran (ELCA) church with one of the Theater profs and his family - a wife and almost - two - year - old daughter. Though I've kinda "adopted" his daughter as my little sister and I love the girl to death, I am so glad I don't have to take her home with me. I would go batshit if I had to be around her most of the day - she's at that age where you really can't talk to her or reason with her, so it's quite frustrating (The prof and his wife know about my childfreedom and are okay with it).

So, how about all of you? Did you go/Are you going to a Christian college? Were you harrassed or did other people just not care?

P. S. I need some advice. Do any of you women know of any good Bible study material or devotional material directed at college - age women? I haven't really found anything that's not for teens or for women my mom's age. Any kind of points in the right direction would be awesome.

can you imagine our churches looking like this?
well a few cities here in the US are designing futuristic churches like this, one in los angeles and one in Boston, wondering what you guys think of this, is it something we need, or is this going overboard?


Read the article at Christian Dating for Christian Singles

Hello my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

I've been following this community for a while, mainly because of my own qualms with having children but having nowhere in the church to actually come out and say it.

To me, children haven't become a blessing.  Too many treat them as a rite of passage, a biological item of bling-bling we show off to show how much we love God, and in worst cases, a way to show that we're Christian and others are not.

I hear the usual arguments:
-"Children are a blessing!"
-"The Lord said go forth and multiply!"
-"We have to raise up a mighty army!"
-"That's what God made woman for!"
-"You must fulfill your purpose and please your husband!"
-"You are of the world if you don't want children!"

Honestly, to me, these bingo phrases fall into several categories of selfishness, idolatry, and subtle eugenics.

I'm told that I need to "want" children because I'm a woman.  I'm told that I'm selfish for not wishing to give my womb to my husband.  I'm told that I'm going to allow radical Muslims and atheists take over America if I don't reproduce.

I have an issue with the last comment, particularly because a lot of Christian people DO take this into consideration when they plan their families.  It's not simply a matter of wanting a lot of kids.  It is literally a matter of outbreeding other people.  That is scary to me.  That is not productive to me.  That is not loving to me.

You're literally saying "I'll make more of me so there will be less of them!"  It's a villainous thought because, if atheists were to say this, we'd be in an uproar about being oppressed.

I've been told countless times about Sarah and Abraham, about how she begged him for children, saying "give me children or I shall die."  They use this as proof that women have a maddening desire for children.  I would have one too, back in those days, because it was expected of women to bear children lest they be seen as cursed or as "untrue women."  We're not living in those times now.  We as women don't need to prove ourselves to society by breeding.

I've discovered that God's main purpose for me isn't simply in my womb; it is in my heart and my mind.  I've taken to ministering to the homeless, and I find that a lot more fulfilling than getting impregnated every year and "raising up an army" under the notion that I should outbreed other people.

I'm told that I've taken a far too worldly, far too secular standpoint on pregnancy and children; I'm told that "good Christian women" love having children and fulfilling their duty as baby-makers.  It doesn't matter what other types of service for Him I'm doing; if I'm not reproducing, I'm still the daughter of Eve, spawn of Satan, and a worldling.  That type of persecution hurts.

I believe life is sacred, and that the ability for a man and a woman to come together and have a child is pretty awesome.  But it's not the end all, because babies don't make everything better.  Not all the time.  Look at how many children are aborted, or worse yet, put into the catastrophic meat grinder known as the adoption system.  This should be a testament of how parenting, pregnancy, and child rearing are not as easy for everyone as we've brainwashed ourselves into thinking. 

That said, adoption is something I've been pondering since I was a child.  Everyone deserves a chance at life, yes?  If that's the case, we should give chances to those already born before we start popping out broods of our own in hopes it keeps "those other people" as minorities.

Sorry for the rant, but eh.