La gazette de Les

Praise Jesus! It's the end of the Fundamentalist Meme of Doom

Games

413. Do you play games?

Board games: no. Card games: no. Tiny computer games: yes. Muds: I used to. MMPORGS: No.

414. Do you have any problems with the following:

I have problems with poor numbering schemes

415. Board Games?

They're usually kind of dull

416. Dice?

They're usually extremely dull

417. Playing Cards? (not gambling)

I used to use these to pass the time while travelling

Video Games or Watching Sports

Two great things, now stuck together?

418. Do you own or play video games?

I play some flash games occasionally and also freecell solitaire because supposedly every distribution of cards has a solution.

419. Do you do it in moderation?

No. This is why I limit myself to little games that don't build up on previous levels.

420. None at all?

Yes.
I mean no.
I mean what?

421. What happens when someone talks to you or comes in the room while you are watching a movie or playing a video game?

Well, sometimes I get annoyed. sometimes I try to multitask. Sometimes I pause.

Wasn't there going to be something about sports?

Thing’s I like

(Do not include misplaced apostrophes)

422. Favorite color

Blue.
(I'm so glad this got asked, because I pick my future life mates based on their favourite colour.)

423. Favorite foods
a. Desserts

Yes.

b. Snacks

Yes.

c. Fast food

No.

d. Home cooked meals

Yes

Did I mention I'm a vegetarian?

And that's it. Feel free to start courting me in the comments. Or not. your call.

The fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/ never bloody stops.

T.V.
401. What is your view on having Cable T.V. in your home?

Cable companies are politically dubious and often up to no good, so I'm much more in favour of freeview. Although I don' currently have a receiver and don't really know many people in my peer group who do either. I still pay for a license, though.

402. What is your view about watching Movies in general?

I'm not against it.  Indeed I love a good documentary, but I just don't do it very often.

403. What is your view about Renting Movies?

I was going to subscribe to Netflix, but then they had a really transphobic and awful radio advert, so I didn't.

404. Do you go to the Movies?

It's been a while...

405. If not, why not?

I don't know. I guess I'd rather go to a gig or a play.

406. How do you respond when you see a girl that isn’t dressed right?

Well, if she has an easy ability to change or whatever, it's generally polite to tell her that her dress is on inside out, or whatever the problem is. If she's already out or has been out for a while, it's not really polite to mention it and better to pretend you hadn't noticed. I would think that if you were staying in and watching telly, you would be able to just tell her, as she could easily nip into a bedroom and fix it.

407. Would you describe for me what you think is wrong or what bothers you about a lewdly dressed woman.

Like all terrible essay writers, I just popped the word 'lewd' into a mainstream dictionary, and it says that's being sexual in an offensive way, so I would imagine this would be anything that crudely objectified people, like those Big Johnson T-shirts from the 90's. (warning: lewd link.) Or anything with text or images that minimised or negated the importance of consent.  And, I hate to engage in sexual stereotyping, but I've never seen women wearing lewd apparel, only men. It bothers me because rape culture is fucking awful and should bother and offend everyone.

408. Would you have a Curse Free Unit?

Holy shit, I just googled this and it's a device that reads the closed captioning for your telly and uses it to bleep out offensive words in the audio AND in the captioning text.  Since captioning is in a different format in the USA than the UK, I don't think it would work here.  But also, since you're already not allowed to say any curse words on American TV, I can only imagine what sort of mild profanity this could be searching for.

This meme seems to have been written before the internet was a thing in fundie households, and so does not mention online censorship at all.  For a very small child, a whitelist seems appropriate, but as they older, it does not. And filtering software seems like the wrong answer.  I used to know a household that put their computer in the living room, figuring their son wouldn't look at porn in such an open location and would self-censor accordingly.  However, with smartphones and whatnot, this is no longer a practical solution.  While I tend to knee jerk that my kids shouldn't have things like iPads, because they're kids, I also do want them to be digital natives and able to keep up with their peers. Indeed, having an immigrant parent will mark them out enough. I want them to have the computer skills I had, so I would not only want them to have gadgets, I'd want them to understand how they work, why they work and be able to assemble and program such a device.  Therefore, the way to ameliorate the possible psychic damage from the freeflow of age-inappropriate content . . . I guess the way around it would be to have a series of horrendously awkward conversations. This is the route my own mother took and I'm not sure if it was helpful in my own teen years, but in my youth, I was less vulnerable than many of my LGBT peers and was able to avoid some token attempts at inappropriate contact launched by adults who could tell I wasn't like other kids.

409. Does Cursing in a movie bother you?

No. I do get annoyed when a character should be cursing, according to the narrative logic of the situation and they say something else instead.

410. Would you set a time limit for T.V. watching?

I would be really surprised if this is even an issue for future children.  Some parents try to unplug the internet at certain times of day to get their kids doing other things and this might be a good idea, but it's hard to do homework without the internet now. Kids just need to have more self-discipline these days, which seems like a potential failing point of modern life, but studies show that they do seem to be better equipped at self-restraint than my generation was.

411. What type of Cartoons are O.K. for future children?

Probably the age guidance is safe enough to follow. If I had kids in the US, I would show them Bugs Bunny cartoons, which are now considered unacceptably violent, but it seemed not to warp kids my age too badly and was really important for establishing a shared classical music vocabulary, which is now lost in America.

412. Are you open to us making these decisions together?

As always, yes.

The fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/ is the meme that keeps on meming...

Health

384. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?

My body produces no sex hormones, so I need to get a shot of testosterone every 14 weeks. I get a nurse to do this. Also, once a year, I need to get a few blood tests to make sure the levels are all ok.

385. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?

No.

People who are in love do not reject their lover based on a health report.

386. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?

Eating one's 5 a day, doing at least some exercise.

387. How do you support your own health and nutrition?

Walking to and from the tube.  I don't always get my 5 a day.

Holidays

388. Do you celebrate Holiday’s?

Holiday's what?  I celebrate holidays plural, but not the possessions of holidays.

389. If not, why not?

what if bad grammar were a sin?

390. Which Holiday’s?
Christmas (Presents, Tree, Lights, Santa Claus)

Ah, I see.  Christmas owns presents, a tree, lights and poor old Father Christmas is not a free man after all.  Alas for all of that. But yes, I do that stuff.

Easter (Easter Bunny, Egg Hunt)

My mother always made a big deal about Easter.  I miss that, but I tend not to know when it is.

4th of July (Fireworks)

The 4th of July actually has joint ownership of fireworks with the 14th of July, Bonfire Night . . ....

I do sometimes get nostalgic about the 4th and make a big deal about it.

New Year’s

New Year's what? Eve?  I go to parties on the eve.

Halloween (Costumes)

I guess?  I would if I had kids.

Valentine’s Day

I feel this holiday detracts attention from the much more important day before it in the calendar, which is my birthday.  Still, I have a certain fondness for heart shaped boxes of chocolates and little sweet hearts with sayings on them, especially when they're vegetarian.

I will do whatever is expected of me for this 'holiday.'

What about Thanksgiving? Cinco de Mayo?  Arbor Day?  There are so many days this list has missed!

391. Holiday Decorations?

Seriously, with a meme 400 questions long, it's really irritating when a question from 100 questions ago gets repeated.  But when it actually repeats the question immediately previous, that really takes the biscuit.

392. How do you Celebrate Holiday’s?

My favourite holiday to celebrate is the inappropriate apostrophe day.  We burn bad writers in effigy.  (note: this is not true)

I do the normative holiday thing.

393. Were holiday’s a big deal to you growing up?

The normal amount for an american household. Although I have lingering suspicions around christmas following an especially bad family row in 1989.

394. What was a typical holiday when you were growing up?

My mother would invite everybody she could think of over for dinner. We would madly clean the house and then make loads of food.  One time, she put meat in absolutely every dish because she forgot I was a vegetarian...

Birthdays

395. Do you think you should give Birthday Presents?

Depends on my relationship with the recipient.  It's often polite to give presents.

396. Decorations?

If there's a party.

397. Cake?

Cake is always a good idea.

398. Are Birthdays a Big Deal? Or can you take them or leave them?

I'm no longer at an age where one feel happy and excited by birthdays.

399. How about in regard to future children?

Of course one must make a big deal out of one's children's birthdays.

400. Are Birthday Parties O.K.?

As far as I understand it, they are a dizzying mess of hyperactive, emotional children, bent on destruction, and this continues until the 31st year.  So, no, they're not ok.  But they're expected and thus one should be as enthusiastic as possible.

(Edit: I forgot the link to the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/!)

Communication

350. How do you handle arguments?

Probably poorly

351. Would you be willing to go to communication classes?

i guess

352. In your family, how are or were differences settled?

it's been like 20 years and i'm not sure i remember how my parents handled their own disagreements. the kids certainly never won arguments.

353. Is your family accustomed to teasing?

no, that wasn't a thing

354. To what degree to you take teasing?

somewhat. i have trouble telling when people are teasing and when they're serious.

355. Do you know when to tease and when not to?

not entirely.

356. Are you willing to change your limitations on teasing to suit my upbringing?

it's up for compromise.

357. Can you tell me no or will you let me walk all over you?

Don't tread on me!

Anger

358. What upsets you?

um, many things... bad music, rodents, injustice, the fact that somebody abandoned dirty pans in the sink about 20 minutes after i washed the old ones which were mouldy and why can't people just do their own damn dishes

359. How long does it take you to get angry after something upsets you?

It depends on how upset I am. Something make me instantly angry. Other build up over time. I assumed this was normal for people?

360. Do you have a short fuse?

No

361. How would you respond if someone were to tell you that you are angry?

If this were intended as a silencing tactic (ie, you're angry and therefore your opinions don't count), it would make me livid. Otherwise, I would wonder why they were stating something that was probably obvious.

362. How angry do you get?

1000 miliAngers.
No really, how do I quantify this?

363. Do you hold your anger in?

I try to think before I speak, but otherwise no.

364. Do you hold your anger in until you can’t stand it and then let it out all at once?

I hope not.

365. Have you ever had such an angry outburst that you threw something, hit something or hit someone?

I once got very frustrated and gave a telephone a good thrashing.  Later I had to speak to the person who had been on the other end of the line.  I told him I was startled by a very large spider.

366. How do you react when something upsets you?

Not silently.

367. When someone upsets you do you write that person off and never speak to them again or do you go to them and try to work out the problem?

If somebody's a racist, I'll generally write them off.  Otherwise, I may or may not approach them depending on the relationship I have with them or with the person we have in common.

Changing

368. Are you accepting of truth (new truth) that you hear? (Whether it may be from the pulpit, from a book or from a counselor[sic]?)

I'm willing to have my mind changed about factual assertion in light of new data. I'm also willing to consider some philosophical ideas in light of new reasoning.  However, there's some stuff I'm just not willing to reconsider.

369. Does God have to “knock you over the head” before you will change something in your life?

Um, what? I try to learn from mistakes.

389a. Are you hard-headed?

I have a weird dent in the back of my skull, which I think may have come from this one time I fell backwards off a unicycle.

370. Are you teachable?

Yes.  Well, actually, there are some things I'm doing where I would hesitate to take instruction because I want to have my own voice.  But that depends on the subject.

371. How would your family answer these questions about you?

They were unable to produce adequately convincing data or philosophical argument sin support of Reagan-style capitalism.

372. Can you give me an example of the last time that you recognized an area that you needed to change in your life?

Well, the last major thing was probably my transition.

373. How long did it take for you to change?

It first came up when I was about 20, so over a decade, but it took a few years of more serious questioning after that.

374. How long ago was it?

I started actually doing it about 5 years ago.

375. How long had it been since the time before that?

What?  It generally takes me about 2 years to solidify a major change.  I want to be certain about something before I take major risks.

376. How often do you take someone else’s advice?

Frequently

377. How often do you go to the altar?

Never

378. Is your heart tender towards God, His ways and new truth?

No

379. How often do you feel conviction in your life?

I cannot be bothered right now to find out what this means.

380. How long does it take you to deal with a problem once you recognize it?

The slow part for me is the recognition.

381. Does another person that you have had a problem with have to apologize first or do you go to them?

I prefer the British method of simply never speaking of it.  ... I do try to apologise if I've made someone very unhappy, however.

382. Do you try to communicate and work things out with that person?

Sometimes.

383. How often do you follow through on what you have said that you do? (On a scale of 1 to 10?)

This sentence seems to defy parsing.  I do not always deliver, however. Or rather, I'm sometimes running somewhat behind.  I do eventually get everything sorted.

blah blah blah the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/.


293. What is you definition of wealth?

They say 'health is wealth.'

294. How do you spend money?

By handing it to cashiers?

295. How do you save money?

By leaving it in the bank?

296. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?

My hypothetical future spouse and I would need to agree on a budget, etc. I

297. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?

Hey, look, it's question 159! Again.

298. Do you use credit cards?

Yes, my american one. I haven't lived in the UK long enough to get credit.

299. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?

Versus what? Paying hundreds of thousands of pounds in cash? Not that it matters, as I can't get a loan.

300. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?

We'd need to negotiate this.

301. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?

Yet another thing up for negotiation and not based on gender roles!

302. Do you support the idea of a working wife?

Look, it's question 119! Again. Because it's such a fucking awful question, it's worth asking twice!

303. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?

It's very important that both spouses have some stuff in their own names s as to build credit histories.  And I think bills should be paid out of a joint account.  Contributions to this shared account should not be equal, however, but should be negotiated based on the salaries of each person.

304. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?

No, I just have a sense of  how much I've got.

305. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?

Me, myself and I

306. What is your current job?

I am an independent researcher. (Independent means 'unpaid.')

307. Are you punctual or late for work?

I set my own hours.

308. Do you plan on handling the finances? Would you seek my opinion on purchases before hand?

It would really best if I weren't in charge of this.

309. Do you pay your bills on time?

This is why I shouldn't be the one in charge.

310. Can I see your last 4 months worth of bank statements?

My letting agent wanted to see six months. you're kind of lax by comparison.

311. What is the biblical perspective on proofreading? (asked because this was a repeat of 119 and 302)
312. Have you had debt in the past?

I had a mortgage.

313. What did you do to get out of it?

I paid it off.  Before the whole subprime thing happened, so I don't have first hand experience with my bank trying to massively fuck me up.

314. How do you feel about debt? Is it a bad or a good thing?

There is an important difference between secured and unsecured debt. Also, it matters how the tax system approaches the problem of debt, etc. In general, credit card debt is bad. Student loan debt is a criminal imposition on students. Mortgage debt is often ok, depending on how unscrupulous your bank is.

315. Do you think God would repeat question 304?
316. Are you willing to live on a budget?

ok

317. Would god repeat question 298?
318. How many credit cards do you have?

1.

319. How much do you owe on each of them?

This is reminding me I may have missed a payment.

320. What is your goal or purpose in owing on and paying off credit cards?

It seemed like the american thing to do.

321. What determines whether or not you make a purchase? Give me some recent examples.

Um, I bought some food recently because I was hungry.

322. Are you a wise spender?

No

323. Do you consider whether or not you have the finances before you purchase something?

Yes.

324. Are you a compulsive spender?

A little bit.

325. Do you consult anyone before making a large purchase?

How large are we talking?

326. Would you ask my opinion before making significant purchases?

I'm sure I've seen this question before.... anyway, yes.

327. What do you consider a significant purchase?

A car or a bicycle that I'm afraid to lock outside. Or a tuba.

328. Would you rather spend money on yourself or someone else?

Um, well, um, it depends?

329. Do you spend money on others even when you don’t have the money?

I probably have, but in general, no.

330. What is the most you have ever spent on any one thing at a time?

I bought a condo once.

331. Would you rather rent or buy?

Housing?  It depends.

332. Do you buy used or does it have to be new?

Ok, not housing.  Um, I'm ok with used. Especially for books. I've never owned a new tuba.

333. How do you feel about a new or used car?

Equally fucking awful.

334. How do you feel about making car payments?

Not making them makes me feel justified buying overly nice bicycles.

335. Who handles the finances in your parents’ home? Your Mom or Dad?

My dad always did.

336. Has anyone ever taught you how to handle your finances?

My school covered it.

337. Can you balance a check book?

You may have heard of an amazing invention called the internet. It turns out it can do banking stuff too.

338. Do you have a savings account? How much is in it?

Yes and I'm not posting that to the internet.

339. How much do you love question 147?
340. Are you stingy?

Yes, and I smell bad.  ::eyeroll::

341. Are you generous with what God has given to you? To what degree?

I'm not sure what God gave me.

342. Do you tithe?

lol

343. What percentage of tithe do you give?

lol

344. How long have you tithed?

lol

345. Do your parents tithe?

My parents gave the required amount to the church to get the discount for me being in the catholic school.  They did not come out ahead, but they wanted to support their church.

346. Do you give above your tithe?

If I'm going to give away my money, which I do sometimes, I'd prefer to give it to an actual charity that supports things that don't directly benefit me. Giving money to your own church is like giving money to yourself.

347. How much generally do you give above the tithe?

oh, fuck off.

348. Do you give on occasion to other needs that you hear about above your regular giving? (For instance, if a missionary with a need came by would you give additionally to a need that might have been heard or do you think that you have already given to him because of giving to missions already.)

I think I've got some sort of repeating transfer to the British Red Cross.  I also give to a FOSS project, but that doesn't count because I actually use the software, so it's entirely capitalistic self interest.

349. Are you ever stirred emotionally to give?

Yes

I could make a joke about certain famous newly-born benefits scroungers (150 rooms in their house at the taxpayer's expense!), but I think we're all sick of hearing baout that and would rather jump right ahead to with the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/.

238. What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family?

I would think it would have something to do with being Christian, which pretty much leaves me out of it.

239. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters?

Versus what? Staying home every evening until they turn 15?

240. Do you want to have children? If not, why?

Yes, but also, I think one should have to justify why as well as why not.  Especially given overpopulation and all that.

241. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?

I am able to fill many of the roles of parenting, however, I know that I am infertile.

242. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?

I don't know. Probably. I'll be 40 in 2.5 years, which makes delay inadvisable, but I'd also like to have a more settled job situation.

243. Do you believe in abortion?

It is a right.

244. What is the best method(s) of raising children?

.... people have written entire books about this...

245. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?

Reward-based training works best for most animals, humans included, however, there are definitely times when a more negative response is called for.

246. How were you raised?

By a loving family.

247. How were you disciplined?

Over-zealously.

248. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?

It's never ok to hit a child.  Much like it's never ok to hit one's spouse. A power imbalance makes this offence greater, not less.

249. Do you believe in Christian school for your children?

Absolutely not.

250. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?

You know why this meme is so long? Because you keep asking the same fucking question over and over again.

251. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Baptist classmates/friends?

If this meme is typical for Baptists, then I'd be more wary of them hanging around kids who are Baptist. However, I think diversity is good for kids.

252. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?

Yes and I hope my brother's family send my nephew out here for a visit as well.

253. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?

A loving one.

254. If there are members of my family that are not Baptist, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

A loving one.

255. How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?

I believe our children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posses inside. Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier.

... Obviously this is super important to their future....

256. How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls?

They can just get new shoes when the old ones wear out.

257. Do you want children?

I fucking swear you asked this at least twice before.

258. Do you view children as a measure of God’s favor or an added blessing that He may or may not give?

There is seriously no shortage of kids around....

259. How do you discipline children?

I can't say I ever have.

260. What are the duties of children?

It's important to give kids duties so they get in the habit of keeping things clean and so they feel like they're contributing to the household.  They also have duties in regards to school, although some research indicates its a bad idea ot push this too young.

261. What standard of excellence are they held to?

This depends on the kid, maybe?  I need to read more about this.

262. Where would we set expectations for them?

Yeah, I haven't done any recent research.

263. What would their education entail? (History, Science, Theology, Creation/Biology, Music/Arts)

I wish we could just rely on the local school, but we may need to do arts stuff as extracurricular activities.

264. How do you treat an unsaved child spiritually and practically in the context of a Christian family?

Do fundies believe some of their own kids are hell-bound? That's needlessly and horribly cruel for everyone involved.

265. When does corporal discipline begin?

Never

266. How do you begin to train infants?

Seriously, who knows this stuff unless they're already a parent?

267. What does play look like for children? Free time?

My nephew has a lot of toys....

268. What attitudes or personality traits are held up as off-limits?

wut??

269. What words or phrases are off-limits?

Anything that can cause offence to women or minorities.

270. What are the things you appreciate most about the way your parents raised you?

My family was loving.

271. What would you do differently from your parents?

I would not use corporal punishment. I would allow my kids ot be more different than me.

272. Who do you want your children to grow up to be?

Themselves. (see previous question.)

273. How would we model ourselves to our children? Our lifestyles, traits, personalities, things we laugh at (or don’t laugh at), what we approve of, etc.

Leading by example is really important, but it's not realistic to expect a major personality change just because I have kids. I might swear less.

274. Do you believe in birth control? What type is O.K. to use?

Yes, any, but this is non applicable.

275. Do you believe in abstinence?

Other people are fine to do it.

276. How many children would you like to have?

I want to answer this question hundreds of more times.

277. Do you have a gender preference? If so, why?

I prefer to be a man, but my children can be whoever they please as far as gender.

278. Do you have a preference on homebirth or hospital birth?

It won't be me giving birth...

279. Do you have a problem with nursing vs. bottle feeding our children?

Studies consistently show that nursed children are healthier and have higher IQs, but it's not me they'll be nursing on.

280. Are you approachable in areas of child rearing or any area?

What does this even mean?

281. What is your view of discipline?

Ok, you seriously asked this question in this very fucking section.

282. What is your view of Spanking?

Really, I'm starting to hate you. Not for your neanderthal social attitudes as much as your endless fucking repetitiveness.

283. How were you dealt with when you did something wrong when you were a child?

I was spanked.

284. Do you plan on dealing with our children the same way?

Fuck no

285. Do you feel like it was a biblical way of dealing with the problem?

I don't care if it is or not.

286. Were you ever spanked in anger?

Yes

287. How did that make you feel?

Angry, but so did cooly dealt non-angry spanking.  Because violence pisses people off, even in the 'right' circumstances.

288. Have you dealt with that offense if any?

I'm not sure what this means.

289. Do you have a different way in mind?

Yes.

290. Would you be willing to listen to Dr. Davis’ Parenting DVD’s before and after we have children?

I'm gussing no.

291. Are you willing to accept advice about parenting and ask advice of both our Parents?

Yeah, sure.

292. If not, why not?

We Are Family! .... with the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/.

230. How would you describe your relationship with your family choosing 1, 2 or 3?
1. We’re best friends/ We talk about everything?
2. We’re cordial but we don’t spend large amounts of time together./ When we are together conversation is kept to a general level.
3. We are enemies. / We never speak to each other.

2

231. Choose these options in each of the following relationships:
With your Dad?
2
With your Mom?
NA
With each of your siblings? (if you have any)
2
With your Grandparents?
NA

232. How much contact do you have with your family?

I see them about once a year

233. What type of contact do you have with them?
e-mail

sometimes

written letters

no

phone

on holidays

234. How often do you have this type of contact? Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly?

See above.

235. If daily, how many times a day?

Goodness...

236. What do you feel are your current and future obligations to your family?

I need to maintain a loving relationship with them.  Should any of them fall ill, I do have responsibilities there, but it's difficult as I live so far away.  I also need to be a good uncle to my nephew, so I expect him to visit sometimes when he's a bit older.  If he should ever be in need of a home, I would offer him mine.

237. What do you feel are your current and future obligations to my family?

I need to support you in your obligations and not cause problems.

It's time again for the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/!


221. What is your thinking on these issues? Be specific where you draw the line.

My thinking on modesty and appearance is that one should be prudent when it comes to obeying local laws.  Also, I think it would be wrong to wear nothing on the tube during rush hour because I really don't want to be squeezed in against anybody's uncovered genitals when I'm trying to get to work.

222. What bothers you in the area of modesty

The ban on female toplessness when male toplessness is allowed is clearly a sexist double standard.

223. What is your definition of biblical modesty

Um, covering oneself with fig leaves?

224. What if our opinions differ?

It would be a bit silly to assume that we would always agree on everything.  your body is your body and my body is my body.

225. Do you have Bible to back up your opinion? Is it a conviction or an opinion?

Note to self: find a bible verse that points out that two separate people have two separate bodies.

226. Are pants ever acceptable

My American readers may be amused to learn that in the London region, 'pants' means 'underwear' and so this question seems to wonder if one should ever deviate from going commando.

I see here that 'modesty' means me telling my hypothetical future wife what she is 'allowed' to wear and thus violating her autonomy and being very controlling of her day to day life. Yuck.

Or else I'm being compelled to go all scottish in the male lower half of the body dress, which I don't think I can really pull off.  Or maybe I'm supposed to go naked on the tube? I'm still against it.

227. What do you think about name brand clothing and emblems

I don't enjoy being a walking advertisement, but you know, fashion...

228. Will you regulate your children’s clothing

I will make them wear warm clothes in cold weather and less clothes in hot weather.  Also, I'm kind of uncool with sexualised clothes for small children. One of my friends mail-orders his daughter's clothes from Denmark and I might copy his lead.  I'd like to give my HFCs a lot of agency in what they wear and how they express themselves, though. there is some inherent conflict there and how to resolve it depends on a lot of factors, including the HFC's age.

229. How will you approach your wife or daughters if they are immodest

If my HFS is naked on the rush hour tube and there's not some obvious explanation for it, I would have her sectioned, which would be extremely tragic, so I hope this never happens.

If my daughter has decided to wear a tiny skirt and a tiny shirt out in the snow in January, I will be very annoying and insist that she take a coat with her and accept that my HFS would probably intervene at some point.

Also, my son will need ot take a coat as well, and wear a bloody jumper, especially if he keeps turning up the heat.

While on a train with no internet access, I typed some answers to the the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/. Some place here, we reach the half way point!


208. On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate the worth of a woman?

Which woman are we talking about?

209. How do you treat women in general?

As people

210. How do you treat your Mom or Sisters?

I used to go see my mum once a week or so. I don't have any sisters.

211. Do you do special things for them occasionally or just when you HAVE to?

I enjoy buying flowers for my gf.

212. Do you open doors for ladies?

Wait, this section is called 'biblical womanhood.' Is this in the Bible? 'Thou shalt hold doors for ladies, but not men, even if they're holding stuff, because God calleth thee to be a dick!'

I hold the door open for whoever is behind me or anybody with their arms full.

213. Do you let them go first?

The bible is much more 1950s than I would have guessed!

214. Do you offer to help carry things for them?

Yes, as I do anybody else who is carrying stuff.

Are they to only speak when spoken to?

I can't tell if it's ironic in some way that this one is missing a number. Does that mean I can ginore it. Because it's pretty fucking awful and I want to pretend that anybody who saw that question would be horrified by it.

215. Do you feel women have a voice and are encouraged to speak their opinion?

I feel both these things should be true. Whether or not reality lives up to this varies greatly on the circumstances.

216. Have you ever taken a woman’s advice? Can you give me an example of this?

I refer you back to the very first section of this meme.

217. How important is it to you for you to be a gentleman?

I really like the whole discourse about being a gentleman, except that when I look even slightly closely at it, it turns into a reaction bunch of old sexist bullocks. I don't know if it can be separated from that or not.  Also, I'd like to be able to get whimsical moustache wax that doesn't yearn nostalgic for the brutalisty and exploitation of the empire. For fucks sake, I just want my 'tache out of my food.

218. Have you ever raised a hand to hit or have you hit a woman before?

No

219. How did your Dad treat your Mom in this area?

My dad never hit my mum.

220. When at home or in the car who does the temperature have to be set to please, you or the others in the car? How about in regards to your Mom or Sister?

It's kind of a jarring jump from domestic violence to car temperature...
In general, I tend to favour minimal artificial adjustments to temperature. I don't have a car and there the heat is basically included in running the engine, but it's expensive to cool a car and expensive to heat or cool a home. Also, carbon footprint etc.

I encourage people who are cold to put on a jumper.  And those who are warm to wear fewer clothes or have a cold drink.

I REALLY do not understand what on earth this could possibly have to do with 'biblical womanhood.'  Jesus didn't even share the ass he rode in on. If he had, I'm sure he would have just told folks to open a  window.

While on a train with no internet access, I typed some answers to the the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/20…he-pre-courtship-questionnaire/.  This section is highly prioritised by starting with question 194 and last for three and a half questions!

Priorities

194. Who is the first on your list of priorities?
195. Second, Third …

I feel like I should come in near the top, but my HFS and HFCs* might come first.

*Hypothetical Future Children

196. What do you base those priorities on? Or why do you feel like they need to be in that order?

I think priorities like these are largely situational. Young children cannot care for themselves and so need to be prioritised.

197. If full-time ministry is in the picture for our future and you had to choose between the church or our family being the top priority which would you choose?

People and relationships are more important than institutions.

Home

198. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?

Yes

199. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?

From my spouse? She can hang out if she wants or if she's  got to get to bed early or whatever, I should either keep folks quiet or shoo them out at a reasonable time.

200. Does the house have to be clean at all times?

I am not clean at all times. Sorry.

201. What are the areas that drive you crazy if they aren’t clean?

If there's a mouse problem, I get very serious about crumbs.

202. What do you consider clean?

No visible dirt?

203. Do you cook or clean?

There aren't elves looking after me...

204. Will you pitch in and help out with the cleaning and the cooking?

No I will not 'pitch in and help out.' As an adult in the household I will take responsibility and not act like I'm doing somebody a fucking favour by doing my fair share.

205. What household duties do you enjoy?

Um...  I like cooking sometimes. And gardening.

206. What household duties do you hate doing?

Cleaning toilets, but it's got to be done.
I hate litter boxes most of all, but I hope to avoid this by never getting a cat.  If somehow I fail in this life goal, it will be me doing it because of that parasite that cats carry. I don't want my HFS to get it and I probably already have it.

207. Do you do Outside Chores?
Mowing, Gardening, Hedges…

I dig gardening and I'll mow if I have to, but I'm not really a fan of grass, although it's less of an environmental disaster in England than it is in the US.