(no subject)

Sometimes I feel like im invading on something I shoudln't be.. like im hurting someone else without really knowing or aknowledging it. I wish I knew the answers, but then again I don't really know what questions to ask. There are moments in life where Im completely sure of everything... but then comes a time when I have no clue what Im doing or why Im doing it. A lot of people think they know me.. I can guarenteen not a single one of you knows me in the ways I am ashamed of myself. I sapose everyone has secrets, but with me everything has to be one huge fucking secret, and nothing is even that big of a deal. I don't know why Im like that... I really wish I weren't.

I can think of the future and plan out everything I want out of life.. and it looks so perfect, but right now.. right at this very moment I don't care. I don't want that right now. It dosn't make much sense to me. How can I want something so badly for my future and have it now but not really want it?

Hmm alright now im just rambling, I've forgotten my point.

Maybe I didn't have one... heh.

Ugh tonight is one of those nights my darlings...