...and Shit

Cargill's Wish List

Name: Cargill (last name, no one calls me by my first, not even my wife)
Age: 30
Location: Austin, Tx.
Occupation: Film Critic
Marital Status: Very Happily Married (Married almost 4 years, Together as a couple for over 11)


Long time Film Critic for Ain't-it-Cool-News under the psudonym Massawyrm. Also check out Cargill's (and friends) Animated Movie Review Show "The Reel Deal". Real Critics, only slightly more animated! or Check out the Reel Deal on iTunes


Aside from my love of movies (of which I watch about 300 a year) I'm a huge Dungeons and Dragons fanatic (I go way back to 1st Ed). I DM or play in two games a week, own about $2000 of Master Maze products, I own every D&D mini yet produced (with a pre-order of the 6th set due out in Feb), and have a 6'x4' table in my geek room dedicated just to painting Minis - complete with lamp/magnifying glass (for those who doubt my seriousness). I collect miniature terrain from all places - searching every hobby or toy store I can find for bargains and interesting new pieces that everyone else isn't already using. I currently playtest for a WoTC (Wizards of the Coast) writer, helping him break his concepts so he can balance them properly.

I helped produce the trailer and interest reel for the independant film Zero:Hour and should continue that position with Noc Films as soon as financing is secured. Next on my plate, however, I will soon begin producing my first film - which I wrote - titled Fellaheen. It will be directed by Kevin Ford and will star Angela Bettis (May, Toolbox Murders, Girl Interrupted), Cinqué Lee, and Eddie Steeples (who is best known as the Rubber Band Man from the Office Max commercials and as Crabman on My Name is Earl.) Production on that will take place sometime soon. Here's a picture of our production trio, Kevin, Ang and I, at the World Premier of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.


Here's some geek highlights:
-I appear in two films as extras: Major League (crowd scene) and The Rules of Attraction (as Bus Station Bum who gets to scowl at James Van der Beek).
-I own, have played and beaten every Pokemon RPG created (both Console and GB)
-I was the first kid on my block to own an Atari 2600. I own all of the old school games they've put out for the X-box and Game Cube.
-The first movie I ever saw in a theatre was Star Wars.
-I participated in and managed The Rocky Horror Picture Show for five years in three seperate cities. I was a crowd hustler and MC. I picked up my wife there 10 years ago. I have seen the RHPS over 500 times in a theatre.
-I can tell you everything you never wanted to know about the genius that is Battle Beyond the Stars
-I played M:TG (Magic the Gathering) from the early beginning and am often quoted by friends for telling a clerk 'I don't want any of this Arabian Nights Garbage your trying to sell me. Do you have MAGIC THE GATHERING? Nobody knew what an expansion set was at the time. I then gave away $10,000 worth of cards bacuse the game had become too commercial. I once beat a man by tearing up a Chaos Orb and sprinkling it across his side of the table.
-I am a character in a weekly, Austin based comic strip that appears in the Austin Chronicle.

Click Here then click on Cartoon Strips for more Korey Coleman cartoon madness!
-I studied Philosphy and Film in college.
-As a video store clerk, I once waited on Quentin Tarantino, the patron saint of video store clerks, and Richard Linklater. They rented Project Grizzly. That experience and two cases of Ramen kept me alive for a month.
-I have been in the first audiences in the world to see Kill Bill Vol 2, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, Shaun of the Dead, Old Boy, Kung Fu Hustle as well as the first Secular Audience to see Passion of the Christ.
-I have seen every episode of the West Wing at least 3 times and can sub-refrence obscure data at the drop of a hat. I own the first 5 seasons on DVD.



I am a dyed in wool Traditionally Conservative Republican (not to be confused with the new, far from improved, ultra-right wing radicals or Neo-Conservatives.) I am also a Christian (who when I was a teenager, planned on being a Franciscan Priest) who has recently discovered Gnostic Christianity. I love the gnostic texts found in the Nag Hammadi Library and have found them both intellectually stimulating and a fascinating alternate take on Christianity. The most important thing about me being both Republican and Christian is that I like to keep them seperate. The two most important documents in my life, The Constitution of the United States and the Bible both specify that they should be kept seperate and I like it that way.

I enjoy frank, honest discussion about all things. I don't believe in Bullshit and I don't often employ tact. I feel the greatest thing any human being can do for one another is be brutally honest in all things, both good and bad. If I disagree with you, I will mention it, but if I praise you for something, know that it is genuine and that I mean it from the very bottom of my heart.

I love to laugh and even more so, I love to make others laugh. So if you like to laugh as well, stick around. You might get a chuckle or two out of me.

Somebody asked me once "If you could be remembered as any literary figure ever put to paper, who would it be?" The answer was easy and came right to mind. Uncle Fezzywig. That's right, Charles Dicken's Uncle Fezzywig. There's no joy I find greater than spreading love, affection and wealth amongst my friends. And I want nothing more than to have as many friends as possible to share that with. That's me in a nutshell, or at least the guy I try to be.

Here's me, again, this time, without the nutshell.

And here's my darling Jessica, morgana_lafey standing with some jackass.


Current Terror Alert Level


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