Maybe because it was the last one I had with them, but, I remember Marko's first Christmas so strongly. It was his only Christmas he knew. We were in Vukovar already, away from our families and we didn't have much money, but, we had gotten a small tree for Jasna and Marko so we could wrap their presents and leave them under it for a few days before. Just small things, a doll for Jasna, a stuffed bear for Marko, some fruit and candy. We'd saved for weeks so Danijela could make fish the night before and we could have turkey and other special foods for Christmas dinner. It had snowed that morning so everything was buried under a blanket of white, we took the kids sledding during the day, then after dinner we all went to Christmas Mass. I remember holding Jasna in my lap afterward while Danijela held Marko, they had opened their presents and we were just watching the lights on the tree. I remember thinking how beautiful they looked and in that moment I couldn't imagine that our life could be any more perfect.
I look back at it now and I can't help wondering if it was that way because God knew he would be taking them away from me and that was his gift to me. Even if it isn't true I like to think that might be the reason.
Muse: Luka Kovac
Fandom: ER
Words: 235
For the longest time I refused to allow myself to make friends, I didn't dare let anyone get close, because if they did they might ask questions about my past and I couldn't risk that. It was for that reason that I decided to become, what they here call a moonlighter, when I got my Greencard and was licensed to practice medicine in the United States. I saw moonlighting as safe, I worked a day or two, maybe a week at most in any one place and then I moved on, no one noticed me me enough to ask about my life, no one bothered to ask about my past. As difficult as it was being in a country so far from everything I knew, and more importantly so far from everyone I knew. I thought I would spend the rest of my life hiding from my past this way, and then I found my way to County.
It took me some time to open up to those at County, and I won't say that once I did that things always went the way I would have liked. I think maybe that Abby and I rushed into things our fist time together, and when we broke up we did it in a way that was meant to hurt the other. It's funny though, as much as we thought we wanted to be apart, it turned out that what we really needed was time to learn to know each other as friends. Over the years our friendship has grown stronger and I can honestly say that Abby is and always will be my best friend and confidant. Our marriage and the birth of our son seems daily to strengthen what we have and where once I chose to spend my life alone, these days, I can't imagine my life without her.
Muse: Luka Kovac
Fandom: ER
Words: 312
I'll never understand what part of a man allows him to stoop so low as to beat a woman or a child. I can't deny that I have a temper, neither can I deny that there have been times when my inability to control it have made me regret my actions. My having beaten a man so badly to have caused his death is proof of that. It doesn't matter that I felt at the time that Abby's life was in danger, it doesn't matter that I very likely could have been killed myself had the blow he dealt me with the pipe been more exact. What does matter is that I had no right to take his life, and that's what I did, all because I lost control.
I wish I could say I learned from that mugger's death, but, I know had Brian been in front of me in the moments after I saw what he did to Abby, he too would have been dead, regardless of the consequences to me. As it was, even though I went looking for him, enough time had passed that I was able to keep control of my temper for long enough not to kill him. It didn't stop me from beating him, neither did it stop me from threatening to take his life if he ever so much as went near Abby again. I never told Abby that I went after him, I can't say if she ever found out, all I know is she was safe, and that was the point of my doing what I did. To this day I don't regret my actions, and given the chance I wouldn't change them, you don't hurt women, you don't hurt children, and if I can prevent someone from that, I will.
Muse: Luka Kovac
Fandom: ER
Words: 302
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