What a Fun, Sexy Time For You

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice; you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice; you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice; you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

No, I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an opened mind... I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train! I want to get off and go home again!
I can't take the speed it's moving in
...I know I can,
But, honestly, won't someone stop this train?

I guess yesterday was one of the most wonderful days imaginable. Add two of my best friends ever, the HUGEST CAMPUS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE FOREVER AND EVER AMEN, Urban Outfitters, some scrumptious noodles, and plenty of sidewalk chalk... simmer for the better part of a Friday and maybe you'll get the idea.
And if you still don't, we made sure to thoroughly document it.

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In short, I bought a lot of cool new stuff and probably confirmed my descision to go there next year. And on the way, I had one of the best times I could ever hope for in a summer such as this.
Other than adventuring, I still work, write and read. And that's about it. Mad love to all my homies.

I got hit on by the same two guys three seperate times over the course of today. I think that means I sort of involuntarily entered a relationship.

They refer to me as 'Nut Girl.'




Oi! College Visit #1 tomorrow.

I just want to tell everyone that is all depressed and has the winter blahs that they really are awesome. I mean, hell, if you're reading this I think you're cool enough to be on my friends list (which actually outnumbers my friend-of list by far!) and if that's not a compliment, what is?

And as shitty as I feel right now, I honestly do know that it's gonna get better
For the same reason it's gonna be better for all of you
I mean, I'm sixteen! (And most of y'all are arouuuund the same age, I think)
Of course your life can get shitty when you're sixteen because most people you're around are sixteen too and when you're sixteen you're the most important person in the world and when you get a whole bunch of the most important people in the world together, things sort of explode and melt and the fallout is usually pretty toxic.

But it's gonna get better. I mean, sure when we leave high school, we'll no longer be around the most important people in the world, but I'd like to think that maybe there are people equally as awesome as everyone I know right now. It's hard to imagine a world where saying you're gonna drive through the heights at night doesn't evoke a generally racist image of gang fights and prostitution or one where 'soda' comes out of taps instead of pop or one where everyone you know doesn't live a stone's throw away from Giles Road.
But change is a good thing. A lot of us (sadly enough, I include msyelf in this demographic) can't wait to get out of this dump... er... town. And some of us (I think) plan on sticking around. Either way, the times they are a-changin' and the first one now will later be last. In short: if things are going shitty for you right now, they're gonna get better! I promise! I swear!


I posted a while ago about how I can think of a million terrible things about everyone I know. Well, you know what! I CAN THINK OF SO MANY MORE GOOD THINGS. And no matter how many people I 'dislike' (I can really only think of two people, most of you probably know who they are. No names.) I really can think of so many terrific things about people and it's mind boggling to see so many awesome people so depressed when there are so many good things about this world.
Sure there are birth defects and child abuse and FST homework and lung cancer and friends that die a week after their sixteenth birthday and all the autopsies come back inconclusive. But then there's those moments when you think of something hilarious that happened a billion years ago but you just start laughing uncontrollably and no one can figure out why, there's The Arcade Fire, there's opening those damn Date Match results and finding out everyone you know is an 85% match with Big Will, there's watching Mr. Hankinson use the little drinking fountain, there's the night before your essay is due and your whole class is AIMing their thesis to each other, there's Emily Grabinski's enigmatic laugh, there's the fact that several people I know actually listen to Hardcore music (so terrible that it's hilarious!). I could go on.

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the best photo update you've ever seen in your life.

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so much nostalgia i can hardly stand it.
don't you wish you'd been a childhood playmate of me?

u r my fantise
so it's public. :P

MY AMERICAN IDOL.


Yeah, I've stooped to making fun of those who probably have learning disabilities and still manage to be put in positions where America is expected to 'idolize' them. But it's not like she can read me doing it.
UPDATE::::
SHE WROTE A BOOK! ILLITERATE BITCH HAS A BOOK DEAL AND WROTE A BOOK THAT WILL BE PUBLISHED AND SOLD TO PEOPLE WHO PAID MONEY TO READ THE WORDS FANTASIA CANNOT. SHE WROTE A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK. SHE HAS A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK DEAL AND I DO NOT HAVE A BOOK DEAL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

**guess this one'll be public for a while, by REQUEST. tell all your friends**

ALL WE HAVE IS NOW.
all we'll ever have is now

friends cut.
sorry.

alternately, if you feel you need to read my journal, comment here and tell me why. if i understand, you're SO added.