is happiness a colour?

Ok, I had to steal my mom's computer for a moment to post about this because... I just had to.

I spoke with my aunt today and she told me a pretty disturbing story about her local Stop & Shop store. (This is a regional supermarket chain - the largest in New England, if I'm not mistaken.)

Yesterday she went to her local Stop & Shop and, among other things, bought a container of the Stop & Shop potato salad from the deli counter. When she opened it up at home and she and my uncle tried some, they could tell something was clearly wrong with it. The salt content was so high that they couldn't even keep it in their mouths long enough to chew and swallow and it tasted "off." So she closed the container and sent my uncle back to the store with it and the receipt to get her money back.

My uncle went to the customer service desk and explained what had happened. The girl behind the desk apologized and gave him his money back. He told her that she should really alert the deli to the issue because when my aunt bought it, they had just brought out a brand new batch of it and the entire batch may be contaminated. The girl seemed to blow him off, or he certainly felt like she did. So he decided to go linger around the deli for a moment to see if anyone came over and switched out the potato salad.

A few minutes later, the girl from the customer service desk approached the deli with the container of potato salad he had just returned. He didn't hear what she said to the deli employee she spoke with, but she seemed to have a few words with him and then handed over the container.

The deli employee proceeded to open it, dump the potato salad back into the batch inside the case, and continue serving customers.

Cue me being HORRIFIED.

Not only did they not check to see if something was wrong with the potato salad they've been serving, but they put back potato salad that had LEFT THE BUILDING AND BEEN IN SOMEONE'S HOME with the intention of re-selling it.

My aunt is, of course, alerting corporate managers as well as the state health department. We'll see what comes of it.

I will not be shopping at Stop & Shop anymore, as I sincerely doubt this was the error of a lone employee. I understand that in the current economic climate, loss is a big deal for businesses and I have heard stories of as well as worked under managements that have asked employees to cut unsafe corners in order save money. (I know of a local grocery store who tells their staff to stock product even if it's past the expiration date because it's the consumer's responsibility to check the date before consumption, not theirs.) There are intimidation factors involved where employees are scared to throw away product because if a manager sees it, they get in trouble.

Even if this is not the case, the absolute best case scenario is that they are not training their employees in food safety and not regulating what is happening in their own deli. Either way, that makes it a dangerous place to shop.

Why can't anyone just do their job correctly? Especially where it concerns health and safety! It's just so disturbing.

So this happened.

If you have a subscription to Marie Claire, now might be a good time to cancel it. This is the most offensive thing I've seen come out of a women's magazine in a long time. And considering the state of women's magazines in the US and across the globe, that is saying something.

Of course, what do I know? I'm just a fatty who needs to stay in her house to spare the world from having to see her walk across a room. Me >>>> heroin addict? Apparently not!

Maura Kelly, please die in a fire. Immediately, if not sooner.

Recently, it came to my attention that one of my "friends" was a less than savory person, to put it mildly. I met the_fmly_bzns, formerly know as inner_justin, in July of 2010 at the Salute to Supernatural convention in New Jersey. I didn't know her before that, so we were actually friends in RL before we were friends on LJ.

During our brief time spent together at the convention in NJ, I learned that she had had a best friend who had died of an AIDS-related illness. His gay partner, also a friend of the_fmly_bzns, committed suicide shortly after, orphaning the couple's very young daughter, who happened to be goddaughter to the_fmly_bzns.

If that sounds too crazy to be true, it's because it is. You can read the whole story at karyn_nomore, an LJ someone created strictly to expose the lies of the_fmly_bzns. In the comments of the post there, someone also posts solid proof of her lies - correspondance with the friend who had supposedly committed suicide, who happens to be very much alive and very much straight.

So why am I making this post? For several reasons. Am I bitter because I got duped? Yes, of course I am. But that's not why I'm doing this. I have been fooled by people before and I never went this far with it. So why now? Because of how far the_fmly_bzns went. I want to help get the word out so no one else is duped. I know there are people on her flist that won't have heard about all of this. And I want people to know from someone who has stamped this with their name just what she did.

She didn't just make up some lies to dupe people on the internet. This was something she played out in real life. For one thing, she used REAL PEOPLE in her ruse, real people who are now aware that she had turned them into a couple and murdered them in her fantasy and are fearful of what else could happen. She exploited very very serious issues like AIDS, suicide, and the well-being of a child. And she did it to people's faces.

When I met her in NJ, I didn't question her story at all. It was too horrible to question. What kind of a person would that have made me? I never once stopped to think that it might not be true. Yes, I'm a cynic, but there she was in front of me. Surely no one would spew lies to someone's face, right?

What sent me over the edge with all this, though, is that she used this lie to try to get close to Misha Collins. This is mostly why I am going to these lengths to warn people. This is the behavior of someone who is unbalanced at best and completely crazy at worst. She wrote out a letter to Misha detailing the tragic story of how she and her best friend spent the last weeks of his life watching Supernatural together at the hospital, how much he loved Castiel and how it brought them that much closer in his final days. When she first met Misha in an autograph line, I was not there. She told me afterwards that she didn't give him the letter, but she told him a little bit about the story. She said that he was dumbstruck and offered words of comfort and condolences. At this point, she was crying and shaking. I had only just met her but my heart ached for her. I rubbed her back and tried as best I could to comfort her. And, I admit, I cried too. It was just too sad. I have a hard time with other people being upset. I cried for her.

It was either later that day or the next that we were standing in line together waiting to get into the auditorium and she had the letter she wanted to give Misha. As it happened, he was in the restroom right next to where we were standing. His assitant/bodyguard/whatever asked us if we would stand back a little from the people in front of us so that once he was out of the restroom, he could cut across the hall to get to where he needed to be. So we did. At this point, the_fmly_bzns pulled the letter detailing her bullshit story out and asked me if she should try to give it to him right them. I said why not? The worst that could happen is that he wouldn't take it. So when he came out and he went to walk by us she caught his attention and held the letter out for him. He clearly recognized her. His face fell and he took her hand with the letter in it in both of his hands, holding it for a moment and looking at her with heartfelt emotion all over his face before taking the letter and walking away. And in that moment I was so grateful to him. I was so grateful that he was so caring, so sincere, so sympathetic. Because I knew how much she needed it.

Writing it all out in detail like this is making me sick to my stomach. To think that none of it was true... it disgusts me to my core. And truthfully? I feel a little guilty about it. I told her all weekend that she should tell Misha her story, that he would surely want to know, that he would sympathize with her. And I sympathized with her, comforted her, paid her the attention she so desperately wanted. I validated her, gratified her, encouraged her. And I hate it. But I guess I'm just not as cynical as I thought I was.

I'm leaving this public because, like I said, I want to get the word out. Read it, share it, link it, whatever. Will she be able to read it? Of course. Am I trying to hurt her feelings? No. But will I go out of my way to spare them? No. She considered the feelings of no one when she did what she did. You reap what you sow.

There were also allegations that I heard from anonymous people that she asked for donations during this whole sham. I cannot speak on that because I have no knowledge of it.

So there you have it. Obviously I encourage everyone to stay far away from the_fmly_bzns. Again, it's not because I want to hurt her but because I want people to protect themselves. She's gone well beyond what most internet fakers do and, quite frankly, it's scary.

I've been back and forth on whether or not I should make this post since yesterday. I didn't know her well, but she left such a mark on the Harry Potter fandom and much of the LiveJournal community that it only seems right to say a few much-less-than-good-enough words about simons_flower.

I saw simons_flower around often over the last few years, mostly at the harry_and_ron community. The first time we talked, though, was in 2007 when I was lucky enough to get her as my Secret Santa at bestmates_xmas. She wrote a lovely fic for me called "Stop All the Clocks" which can be found here, if you're interested. (You can also find an archive of her writing at her fic journal, fics_by_flower if you're interested. And you should be, if I may say so. She was a wonderful writer) Of course I was thrilled to have such a great author as my Secret Santa and happy to thank her gratuitously for the wonderful gift fic she wrote. After that, I read some more of her work and we chatted in comments here and there. But I fell out of most of Harry Potter fandom shortly after (too consumed by a new fandom, sadly) and a friendship never developed.

Still, I feel a sense of loss. I know she meant a great deal to a great many people, some of whom mean a great deal to me. And I know the Harry Potter community will never be the same. My condolences go out to her friends and family and they will be in my prayers for a very long time. There is no rhyme or reason for something like this and it's a horrible thing to have to live with. People always seem to go out of our lives more suddenly and with much more force than they came in. I can only hope that when the dust settles, despite what a blow this has been, her friends and family are able to smile and revel in the joy of having known her.


It is an eerie thing now to look back on the story she wrote for me. Strange as I am, I've always had a bit of a soft spot for character death (when it's not a major character) in fic. She is one of the first people ever to write for me who embraced that. In the story, Harry and Ron lose someone close to them and they grieve together. Hermione recites a bit of a poem by W.H. Auden called "Funeral Blues." I thought, perhaps, it might be somewhat fitting to post that bit here now, for simons_flower.


The stars are not wanted now; put out every one
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods
For nothing now can ever come to any good


Thank you, simons_flower, for sharing your beautiful work with me and all of fandom, for being so special to so many people, and for leaving us all better than we were before we knew you.


To her close friends here on LJ, you have my sympathies, my condolences, and my support. We may not all have traveled in the same circles, but we are all connected because we were touched by her. If any of you need anything, if there is anything I can do, please let me know. If you just want a shoulder or a compassionate ear, you have mine.


Rest in peace, simons_flower. You will surely be missed.



(If you have memories or thoughts you'd like to share with her friends and family, there is a memorial community created, flowers4trisha, which can be found here.)

Title:: Puppy Love
Author:: callie_828
Characters/Pairings:: Established Dean/Castiel, Sam
Genre:: Attempted Humor
Word Count:: ~1450
Rating:: PG13 for language.
Beta:: None, since this is just a silly little thing I wrote for fun.
Warnings:: None
Author's Note:: This fic was inspired by and written for breakinporcelan, who once upon a time requested a Dean/Castiel drabble in which they get a puppy who hates Dean, or something along those lines. Because it took me so freakin' long to ever get around to writing it, I decided she deserved more than a drabble. Enjoy!

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From THIS POST. I've decided to post them all here in one entry instead of clogging the comments on the request post. Also, that post is locked, but I'm thinking I'll leave this one public.


For:: ibroketuesday
Request:: Dean/Castiel MPREG (What a bitch, right?)
Author:: callie_828
Characters/Pairings:: Established Dean/Castiel, Sam
Word Count:: 191
Rating:: PG13 for language.
Warnings:: MPREG, or as close as I will ever come to it. Oh, and blasphemy, most likely.

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For:: gembat
Request:: Dean/Castiel dark!fic
Author:: callie_828
Characters/Pairings:: Established Dean/Castiel, Zacariah
Word Count:: 677
Rating:: PG I guess? Wow.
Warnings:: Character death (implied because I just could NOT get myself to actually write it)
Author's Note:: This one's probably a little long to be considered a drabble, but what can I say? The words kept coming. Oh well. Also, it might be a little more, like, tragic as opposed to dark. I don't know. I hope you like it gembat.

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For:: wildcardbitches
Request:: Dean/Alastair dark!fic
Author:: callie_828
Characters/Pairings:: Dean/Alastair
Word Count:: 278
Rating:: R for language and adult themes
Warnings:: Implied non-con. Spoilers for 4x16.
Author's Note:: I've never written this pairing before! Hope it's ok.

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For:: call_me_ps
Request:: Dean/Castiel
Author:: callie_828
Characters/Pairings:: Implied Dean/Castiel
Word Count:: 299
Rating:: PG
Warnings:: Character death
Author's Note:: I really doubt this will satisfy your ring kink, Bethy. LOL But hey, I incorporated it. Remember, you said you wanted it.

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For:: woodstarling
Request:: GEN. DEAN, SAM AND CAS PLAYING WITH LEGOS.
Author:: callie_828
Characters/Pairings:: Dean, Sam, Castiel
Word Count:: 475
Rating:: PG
Warnings:: CRACK. lol
Author's Note:: I don't even know.

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There are still five spots open for requests, flist!

Yes, I actually wrote and am posting fic. Don't die from shock, please.

Title:: I Swear
Author:: callie_828
Rating:: NC-17
Pairing:: Sam/Dean
Spoilers:: through 4x22
Warnings:: Some talk of self-harm. May be triggering.
Word Count:: 3,453
Author's Note:: This was written in response to a prompt at The Supernatural Kink Meme. The prompt was "Dean is becoming an angel. He's ashamed of his new body (wings). Sam takes care of him and shows him that there's nothing to be ashamed of." I hope this is something like what the OP was looking for. Also, the first draft was beta'd by the awesome straykim who offered amazing insight and suggestions, some of which I took and some of which I didn't (I tried, but I just could not write in Zacariah's voice!). This second draft has not been beta'd.

ETA:: I don't write often, so I very much welcome concrit.


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