Today was...well, it was awkwardly awesome! CRAZY COUSIN JIMMY HAS LLAMAS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE TYPING THAT SENTENCE. CRAZY. COUSIN. JIMMY. HAS. LLAMAS. Five of them! And two ADORABLE, sweet, cuddly mules! Jack and Jesse, I think. And two of the sweetest cats I've ever met, omg. And apparently a bunch of kittens somewhere, but we didn't get to see them. And a bunny with six baby bunnies! And like five million chickens, holy shit. And apparently they're all pets, like they're not used for food or anything. Five million pet chickens. And three ducks! And a cow and a baby calf! And a doggy! I swear to god, it was like a damn petting zoo. Crazy Cousin Jimmy is crazy. And he has two gigantic 72-inch flat-screen tvs, holy shit.
Anyway, we roasted hotdogs over a fire in a washing machine basin and played hide-and-seek in the pile of pointy rusted metal and blew shit up, and Crazy Cousin Jimmy told me my tattoo is the best kind of pet because you don't have to feed it, lol. We blew up a whole shitload of shit. I shit you not. Shit. It was AMAZING. One of the shells that you put in a tube (that goes waaaaaay up in the air and POPS and looks big and pretty) decided to fuck the whole "in the air" part and just blew itself up in the bottom of the tube. It was AWESOME. And one of Ryan's Roman Candles blew up in his hand so he dropped it and it started blowing up AT ME, which was exciting. And we set the field on fire, which was cool. Oh, and I got a bug bite (A bug bite, as in ONE bug bite) on my wrist, and my wrist is now twice its normal size.
Oh, and Cousin Dixie LOOOOOOVES Bones! She asked what I was studying, and I said cultural psychology which is basically anthropology for dummies, and she goes "OH Anthropology! Do you watch Bones?" and I'm like "OMFG I LOVE BONES!" and she goes "OMFG I LOVE BONES TOOOO!" only in a much more old-lady, hillbilly way. It was more of a "Well, I just shur do luv her, when she can tell whar that bone come from just bah lookin et it! I just kant figgur out how she dus it!" It was awesome.
Oh, and there's this duck. This freaking DUCK. It just SITS AT THE DOOR and stares inside. And if you want to get in or out, you basically have to kick it off the porch 'cause it won't move. And it's got this really nasty-looking head, it's all red and like...idk, kinda bubbly-looking. And it just SAT THERE and looked aaaangry. And at one point, he fell down the stairs, but in like...a funny way, not in a hurt-himself way. IDK it was the damn weirdest duck I've ever encountered.
I have awesome firework pictures but no way to upload them, so it'll have to wait.
