I've never really dated within my circle of friends before. Or even my school. But I suppose I have a larger selection now.
So it seems as if everyone around me is entering a happy relationship. While I'm at the end of a messy one.
Marc started dating somebody recently. And I'm actually really happy for him. I've gotten to know her recently, and if I was going to pick somebody for him, it would be her. I really like her philosophy and point of view.
What I feel over this isn't jealousy. I don't sit pining away for what I threw away. What I feel is regret. I made a bad decision almost 8 months ago and now I'm left wondering what could have been. Would I be blogging happy thoughts instead of letting out my anger here? Would I have somebody who calls me and goes on dates with me instead of dragging around my boyfriend, unwillingly?
I'm sad that I never knew what could have been between him and I. I'm not sure we would have been perfect. He's a little...emotional and I don't like to put up with bullshit like that. But then again I'm putting up with it now. I'm just sad that I threw away something good for something that's turned out to be bad.
Someone told me that I should start posting again. I think it was Weston, because I read all about his woes on and he told me I couldn't just read and not post.
I'm sure he's going to take those words back soon when he realizes that all I have to talk about is studying. For example:
So when I got back to school on Sunday I studied for calculus for about 2 hours, and then I did astronomy until 2 am.
And then, when I got up Monday I went to class, and after I went to the library and studied some more, and then I went to tutorial and then I went home and studied a little bit more.
And then I had my exam at 7, and afterwards starting at about 10, I studied for astronomy until 2am again.
Today, I got up at 10:30 and studied for astronomy until CS class, and then I had the astronomy exam. And after astronomy I went to the library and worked on my CS assignment until 9.
And hence, I have refused to do any work since then. I played a little bit of Diner Dash though.
So take that Weston, I hope you were bored to death.
I have two job interviews tomorrow. One is for software testing, which is pretty boring, and the other is for Pension Admin. I`m not entirely sure what that means, but I`m a little scared that it means photocopying. I'm starting my first word term for coop in May. That means that the summer of 2007 was the last summer that I'm ever going to have off. At least I'll be making money. And I'll be living in Richmond Hill. And for those of you who didn't hear, I'm seeing at least 2 people every weekend.
I really don't know what else to say. Except for that I kind of feel like I have no soul because all I ever do is study. If anyone finds a bit of my soul will you please return it to me?
does anybody have the movie Identity that I can borrow? You know, the one about the psycho killer who has multiple personalities and kills people and gets off cause he's crazy? Well, I need to borrow it for my law presendation. If anyone has it, please tell me and bring it to school on monday so i can borrow it. Thank you!
omg, I just finished my instructors course. It was 48 hours of learning how to teach stupid little kids. saturday, sunday, monday and today from 10am to 10pm. ok, well today they let us go early because we all passed so it wasn't 48 hours. but i'm dissintegrating. my face is peeling off and my hair feels like straw. but i passed! now i can teach and get $11 an hour instead of $10. and now reggie is taking her NLS at the same pool with bob and josef and ayushi. fun. so, if you see me in the next little while i might reek of chlorine. but i'm working a lot today and tomorrow and i have to do all my homework so you probably won't really see me.
i walked home in the rain today. away from your house, never looking back. it took all my strength. the rain was cold. not even my jacket could protect me from the cold. the ground was slipperty beneath my feet. i couldnt help it from slipping away. i couldnt help myself from slipping away from you. but i never really let go.
i dont care if it hurts, i want to have control, i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.
1. Stop being so bloody stupid. 2. Get in better shape:S 3. Take better care of myself. 4. Stop forgetting things...like to bring bus fare with me when i go out. 5. Stop hanging up on hanna. 6. Stop doing various other things that i really shouldn't be doing. 7. Stop lying to my mother so much.
so i started my new job at centennial pool on wednesday. for some reason, i thought i was working from 9 am to 12:30, i dont know why, but i was just sure i was working then. well, so i get there at 9 and my supervisor is like 'did you get my email', she had sent me an email telling me when i was working. well, since it was the first time i was there she let me stay and guard a bit and get trained a bit. i just have to say that i LOVE this job. like, i was there from 7:30-8:30 in the evening and i guarded for a total of 25 minutes and the rest of the time i just sat around and did them. they suggested that i bring some homework or a book or cards or something because there's really nothing to do. and the best part is that i'm getting paid 10 dollars an hour to do it! well, tonight i'm off to my other job at don mills and eglinton. i really have to quit that job soon:s
i finally saw brokeback mountain!!! the funny thing is that kyle saw it with me. i knew he wouldnt like it, and he didnt, but he said he knew i wanted to see it so watched it with me and paid. i think he realized that i've been really pissed off lately. but it was so good. and sad. so did jack die from being beaten? i wasn't too sure about that...
omg, i was watching the third harry potter movie today, and ron is sooo sexy. and so are the twins. i want them. and i think i'm beginning to like harry/ron. those two are so cute together. like when harry's looking at the marauders map at night, and ron wakes up and he goes 'the spiders, they want me to tap dance, i dont want to tap dance', and harry goes 'you tell those spiders ron'. its soo cute. but i hate hermione. with a passion.
hopeful