(no subject)

I've tried to write about my "life changing" experience last firday but everytime i do something gets fucked up so this time...ITS NOT GOING TO!!


As I walked throught Marshall feilds last friday my heart started to race, Millions of thoughts rushed through my mind (all of which were good) and I began realizing what was about to happen. I soon started getting even more happy/giddy and began skipping through the fragrance department. The woman at the counter started flashing me odd looks, Andrea just laughed, I gave her a huge smile and continued skipping. We had to find a directory/map thing to figure out where Waldenbooks was since we had no clue where we were going, even tho ive been to River Oaks plenty of times, I (as usual) was clueless. As we approached the store most of my excitement turned into nervousment, Andrea picked up on this, probablly because i stopped walking, she just looked at me and i took a deep breathe, smiled at her and walked into Waldenbooks...

Shockingly there were quite a few people in there, yet it was very quiet. I told Dave i'd meet him in the back, well actually he told me, so me and Andrea made our way towards the back. At this point all i heard was the beating of my own heart, I even think Andrea was talking to me, I just wasnt paying attention. We searched the store and realized he wasnt here. I stopped walking and just kinda stared out the store, Andrea asked me "what do we do now, we drove all this way and he isnt here," and i simply responded "we wait"...I found a spot in the kids section, ina corner. I sat down on this stool thing because I was so nervous that I was getting dizzy and I told Andrea to "keep watch", even tho she didnt know who exactly she was looking for, so i told her to look for any guy wearing all black, has a eyebrow ring/peircing thingy and is sexy as hell, she just smiled and agreed. I sat down, and just stared blankly at the ground, I thought, "what if he doesnt show....? What if he just stands me up and says he has better things to do?" (which he probablly did) I slowly became more and more upset, almost to the point where i wanted to cry when i heard Andrea say my name...I lifted my head up and there he was, walking towards me looking amazing as ever. The only thing i thought besides "oh my fucking god its HIM" was to smile. So I got up, ran towards him (smiling) and threw my arms around him, as soon as i felt his arms wrapped around me i became the happiest person in the world, nuthing in the world could of ruined my happiness. The scent of his cologne calmed me, and i just closed my eyes and took it all in. (as corny as that sounds)

Andrea had to prove she was at a mall, so she had to go buy something, so we were off in search of a store...Dave found my hand, and together we walked holding hands. I felt soooo awesome, I can't even explain, it was like "awww yeahh go me im hold Dave's hand!" i felt so special. : )...we went to Claire's and while we were waiting for Andrea to pay for what she was buying, Dave and I stood up againest the store entrance wall. I couldnt believe all this was ACTUALLY happeneing. It was like this surreal dream, I looked at Dave and i just thought wow, I wrapped my arms around him again, just to make sure he was really there and i wasnt dreaming...We decided that we were gunna go to his house, Me and Andrea were gunna follow him in his car and Dave told us he would give us a ride to our car. On the way to our car Me and Andrea stopped in the bathroom, I completely had another girly moment, yes..more skipping...and lots of smiling and giggling...=D

Andrea got into his car first, well after him, Dave moved the seat up so she could crawl in the back, I went to get in when there it was, one single rose laying on the passanger seat, i paused before getting in the car. My heart melted and i really didnt know what to say, or do...so i picked up the rose, got in the car and smiled at him, i was speechless,  completely taken, no ones ever done anything that sweet. That moment right there changed everything.

I really did enjoy his room, Andrea did too. It was all decorated with posters..didnt realize how colorful it really was till later..hahah but anyways...Dave and I sat on his bed, and might i add it is prolly the most comfortable bed ive ever sat on in my life. I saw my picture on his desk and i felt VERY special =D.  There were a few sileneces durring the night but none that were akward, i felt so calm and comfortable, most fun ive ever had being silent. We held hands practically the entire night and got closer and closer as the night progressed...the sooner it got to me having to leave, the closer and tighter he held me. There were a few times when i just wanted to roll over and yeahh....2 things stopped me...anywhow...At one point me and him were sitting on his bed...we both just turned and looked into each others eyes, I couldnt belive it was him i was looking at...::SIGH::..wow hes so amazing...

We took a few pictures during the 4 hours i was with him...more mainly when we had to go...i kept saying i looked shity so we would have to take more and stayed longer...hehehehe...I didnt wanna leave...but time came, very quickly and we put on our coats and made our way towards the door. Andrea led the way and once we got to the door Dave told her to give us a sec and closed the door...He turned around and all he said to me was yes or no...i was a lil confused for a sec, then realized what he was doing, he asked me again, and i said yes. Dave leaned in and kissed me, and I kised him back. He then hugged me soo tight, good tight, then looked me in the eyes and told me he loved me. I didnt know what to do, or what to say, i felt my eyes watering and i burried my face into his shoulder. He then asked me the same question he asked me the very first time he drove to Oswego to see me..."was it everthing you expected?" and I of course answered with my very true same answer "Everything and More" we then left his room and made our way outside...

I put my stuff in the car, stepprd back, then gave Dave another hug, I didnt wanna let go...I was so close to telling Andrea to just leave me there, I wanted to go back into his room and lay there on his bed, in his arms, in complete bliss. All i wanted was to be with him. I was trying so hard not to cry, we kissed a few more times, and then i had to go, i said , see ya later cowboy and got in the car...and as soon as he closed my door and turned around i started crying...i practically broke down...so many things raced through my mind, i was all about getting out of the car and running over to him in his car, but i didnt, and i dont know why. I just wanted one more hug...one more kiss...

We followed him to the road we had to get the highway off...i coudlnt take my eyes off his car...tears were pouring down my face and i just held the rose to my lips...we got to our exit, and Dave signaled that that was it, Blindside-"All of us" came on and i turned around and watched Dave's car disappear as we drove down the ramp...now everytime i hear that song i get that same feeling i had as i drove down the ramp...and "out of his life"

As soon as i got back to Oswego i told Jake what happened, and he was pissed...VERY pissed...i felt bad for lying to my mom too, so she knows now too, shes trying to get me to admit that it was stupid on my part and i should just forget about Dave but i refuse and everythime she tells me i yell at her...im not forgeting about anyone...ESPECIALLY not Dave...

The rest of the weekend all i thought about was Dave, every dream i had...Dave..everytime i looked at Jake, i saw Dave...everything was just DAVE!...im not quite sure what it means...but god damn i know it means something...something VERY, Extremely, Wonderfully good......