at least we dig each other.
So, things have been really insane for me lately. I just haven't been doing very well emotionally, which is pretty surprising for me, since I tend to sail through life other than, y'know, the stress of school and stuff.
The combination of moving into a new place (even though I'm familiar with the school and the area, being in an apartment is different from the dorms), financial concerns, the anticipation of classes starting and all the work I have, the stress of all the paperwork I need to do for studying abord, just missing home in general, and then getting into a phase of "what the hell am I going to do when I'm out of school?" has had me pretty down. I'm not usually someone who feels like crying all of a sudden, but on Sunday night I was in tears while talking with Erin and my mom. I've been slowly getting better since then, but yeah, it's been rough. (Part of me thinks it's because I'm due for my period and I'm really hoping I'll be less emotional once I get it, but who knows.) Then my dad called me today (while I was in the university center since the internet is down at my apartment for some reason) to give me more reassurance and support and just... be there, and I had to try really hard not to start crying here, in a public place. Auuugh, I'm just not used to being like this. It's very unlike me.
But I'm working through it, I think. My mom was suggesting I get a job, but I just... don't know if I have the time for it. I feel bad since I know that tons of other people work while going to school and that makes me wonder why I can't do the same thing, but I just... I don't know. I also feel terrible because I've been pretty absent at
damned due to all of this stuff, and I just want to feel at ease and content again, and it's been hard.
Part of my concern is that it seems like everyone's post-graduation plan is graduate school. And I don't know that I want to do that. Nor do I think I could afford it. Literature is my major (Japanese minor), and I worry that there won't be any options for me unless I go to graduate school. It doesn't help that when it comes down to it, I don't know what I want to do. I think I need to be more informed of what my options are, but my dad was so sweet, telling me that I could do whatever I wanted because I'm a dedicated, hard-working person, and BAAAW, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
The good thing about a heavy workload is it means I have less time to get myself worked up, but the three-day weekend will hopefully give me some time to relax... Unless it backfires and causes me to think too hard and I end up a wreck again. But I'm trying to be optimistic!
Oh, and the other thing was that I've realized that I'm not very good at feeding myself, so I ended up getting a 5 meal plan at the dining hall to make sure I eat a proper lunch, at the very least. I need to figure out more quick, easy-to-make things that I can have for dinner, though. I dunno.
But yeah, hopefully the internet will get fixed soon so that I can actually be around and talk to people in what free time that I have. I miss you guys. ♥
The combination of moving into a new place (even though I'm familiar with the school and the area, being in an apartment is different from the dorms), financial concerns, the anticipation of classes starting and all the work I have, the stress of all the paperwork I need to do for studying abord, just missing home in general, and then getting into a phase of "what the hell am I going to do when I'm out of school?" has had me pretty down. I'm not usually someone who feels like crying all of a sudden, but on Sunday night I was in tears while talking with Erin and my mom. I've been slowly getting better since then, but yeah, it's been rough. (Part of me thinks it's because I'm due for my period and I'm really hoping I'll be less emotional once I get it, but who knows.) Then my dad called me today (while I was in the university center since the internet is down at my apartment for some reason) to give me more reassurance and support and just... be there, and I had to try really hard not to start crying here, in a public place. Auuugh, I'm just not used to being like this. It's very unlike me.
But I'm working through it, I think. My mom was suggesting I get a job, but I just... don't know if I have the time for it. I feel bad since I know that tons of other people work while going to school and that makes me wonder why I can't do the same thing, but I just... I don't know. I also feel terrible because I've been pretty absent at
damned due to all of this stuff, and I just want to feel at ease and content again, and it's been hard. Part of my concern is that it seems like everyone's post-graduation plan is graduate school. And I don't know that I want to do that. Nor do I think I could afford it. Literature is my major (Japanese minor), and I worry that there won't be any options for me unless I go to graduate school. It doesn't help that when it comes down to it, I don't know what I want to do. I think I need to be more informed of what my options are, but my dad was so sweet, telling me that I could do whatever I wanted because I'm a dedicated, hard-working person, and BAAAW, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
The good thing about a heavy workload is it means I have less time to get myself worked up, but the three-day weekend will hopefully give me some time to relax... Unless it backfires and causes me to think too hard and I end up a wreck again. But I'm trying to be optimistic!
Oh, and the other thing was that I've realized that I'm not very good at feeding myself, so I ended up getting a 5 meal plan at the dining hall to make sure I eat a proper lunch, at the very least. I need to figure out more quick, easy-to-make things that I can have for dinner, though. I dunno.
But yeah, hopefully the internet will get fixed soon so that I can actually be around and talk to people in what free time that I have. I miss you guys. ♥