waxwing: (Default)
Rizu ([personal profile] waxwing) wrote in [community profile] brouhaha2016-01-11 03:58 pm
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CRIT POST

If you'd like to comment on my characterization with any of the following characters, please leave word below. Constructive is best, of course, so I can consider it and better analyze the way I play and better take things from your suggestions.

Anonymous is on, IP logging is off, and comments won't be screened, so you can know I'm not hiding anything people have brought to my attention. If you think it may benefit you, check out my most recent character check. There, I mention things I think about playing certain characters/where I think I've taken them, etc. If may be that we feel the same, or I'm already working on something you want to bring up, or something else, you never know. Either way, here.

At [community profile] prismatica;

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(Anonymous) 2014-10-25 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
I don't really have a lot of crit other than how you type the accent of your character-- for legibility alone I think it's a bit much. As well as you wouldn't ordinarily cut off the beginning of a word either. Using your latest Ariel post as an example:
Reckon I won' need to explain where I'm from 'r bother 'ashin' it out with ye what year it is 'r what yer or my world is like. M' not in the mood fer pleasantries.
"won't" and "or" shouldn't be cut off like that, and I think you are using the word "hashing"? Which again shouldn't be cut off at the beginning. "M'" is also incorrect, it'd be 'M because an apostrophe is in place of the letter/ word that is cut out. In this case the I in I'm. "Ye" could suffice as "ya" or "y' " in front of other words.

Not to rewrite your sentence too much but it'd flow a lot easier with a lot less of the accent typed out. It's easier implied with subtlety whenever possible.
I reckon I won't need t'explain where I'm from or bother hashin' it out with ya which year it is or what your world or mine is like. 'M not in th' mood for pleasantries.

worthdisgracing: (LAST LOOK)

[personal profile] worthdisgracing 2014-10-25 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
Hey there. Thanks for dropping by. It's hard for me to judge whether something's legible from an outside point of view since I know what I'm intending to type, so I appreciate the input on it.

As for specifics I'll start out by saying in no way am I a linguistics expert so yeah, there are probably mistakes there as you pointed out. I just typed things out according to how they sounded to me when I poked around looking for examples of the accent I was going for. It seemed like "h" and "t" were sounds that were dropped a lot, which is why I took them out there- the "m" you mention is definitely my bad, I was shortening "I'm" and made a mistake.

Basically what I'm trying to say is yeah, I have no idea if there are actual rules anywhere about how one should write out certain accents or if there's generally accepted ways to do it, but from just a readable standpoint the last thing I want is for it to be a bother or deterrent to people so I'll tone it down starting with editing that post.

If you have anything else on this matter, feel free.

(Anonymous) 2014-10-25 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
What you might want to consider is just having a flavor of accent or a touch, reminding people that she has an accent (even in brackets if need be) while not sacrificing too much of the spoken text because it gets difficult to read with the wrong balance to it.
worthdisgracing: (ANIMAL TAMER)

[personal profile] worthdisgracing 2014-10-25 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
Alright. Again, thanks for bringing it up, since I wouldn't have known it was problematic to try reading otherwise. Hope you don't have as much problems with it in the future.
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