I DON'T LOVE ME SO MUCH

I CHANGED MY LJ USER NAME TO wingsof_despair So Leave Me a Message if you Want to be Added I just got sick of this name I dono why.

On new years me melissa and her brother went to the poll hall. When we got there wasnt mant people till I walked in the other room I saw a bunch of people I knew. There was 2 bands playing I knew one of them Inner self. We play pool for about 3 hours. Then the first band started at like 10 something I was moshing then these two nasty girls decided they where gonna dance on each other and this guy was like hey come here knock them over push them down something and then A few more people came up to me I knew and said I should. So I went in the mosh pit and told them the plain and they pushed me so hard I knocked them both on the speakers and the floor ahah. Then about 5 mins later they came over to me and Melissa threw one of them then I choked one of them and said BITCH YOUR GONNA DIE. I said it was on accident ahaha I aint scared. Then the lady workin she knew me she said just coool out so We did then stayed for awhile to watch Innerself. After that we went bowling saw a few people I knew there to. Then came home and watch tv. Friday I got my nails done cute show yall a picture. I also got bumfights dvds one and two. NOTE if anyone wants to buy them hit me up on Aim brokenstarnight cause i watched them funny shit but I dont have a dvd player so yea and I need money! Anyways I HATE BEING LONELY!=*(

Well I thought I would wright about my x-mas. Christmas Eve went to a family party it was ok but still drove me nuts! I was bored just sitting there. I rode with my uncal hah So i could listen to the cd player in the car. Listen to slutbox and Mushroomhead. We got back home I had to climb threw the window casue my brother locked the doors. My uncal did'nt have key suckd when, I got in the house my brother and dad show up! My uncal gave us presents dad didnt get me nothing. I will be getten something when he get income I will be mad if I don't. My brother got a cell phone, suround sound thingy and thats all I can remeber. I got 2 hundred$ giftcard for Pac-Sun, a phone for my room cause the phone I had was whack,a living dead doll and burnable cd's. From Melissa I got these cute ass fairys called faerie glen 30 bucks a fairy! I love them!!!  Well Friday after x-mas I went shoping. Melissa and me went to Rex she bought a 2 dvd's, the mall I bought 4 pair of pants 3 shirts suck as fuck I will post some pictures of the shirts. We got to her house gonna hook up her  dvd player we open the dvd and it was broke we took it back and got another one. Then on Saterday I went to shellys kicked it with her Jen, Amanda Aka Strech,Missy and Tara came over. We went to the pool hall then to Taco Bell came home and then started to watch Finding Nemo we didnt watch it all the way.  I left came home I was gonna stay the night but I dont feel all that good. I had some fun over there. I also dyed my hair. post them pictures sometime to. I made some Icons yes I made them I know how.I am in one of them moods when you see something that reminds you of someone there on your mind. It SUCKS we never fucking talk never!!! I wonder if we ever will again. I wonder how they are. I dono bye

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Tommarows FRIDAY! Iam excited but feeling blah like always. I don't have to deal with teacers bullshit till january 5th. I went to school and forgot my lunch money today, my dad is always rushing me and shit cause he always wakes up late and shit.FUCK! I have detention. O well fuck it. My dad wont be up in time so I can do it in the morening. I just got back from baby sitting you know what I notice, my cosin and me get along better then we used to. She felt as if she needed to be a mother to me I pushed her away. It woulndt have made a difference if I let her. I did so many things she told me not to do. Its my life and my body I will get tattoos and more holes! I have 4 and 3 tattos woo. I want more.I watch her kids for free so yea. The only person I get alone with is my uncal. I am done writing I feel like shit.tamchowder Hope you feel better and I made kahndii Lj layout its crappy but she likes it Bye

It was cold as hell outside this morening and it still is. It was nice and warm in some parts of the school. I left school but I went back my bra broke lol. After School I went to the mall cause I got 25$ from my grandma. I bought from bath and body works Warm vanilla surger chapstick and body spray that shit smells good and these from hottopic red glitter eyelinerI got it in blue toand this pretty eyemakeup its glittery to!  also when I woke up this morening my nose was hurting  its killing me theres a zit on it, on the side where my nose and cheek meet it sucks!! its swollen =*( 2 more Days! till school vacation hell yea!

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My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 aintluvgrands a-spamming.
11 blown_fames a-wailing.
10 crystalees a-milking.
9 deadgirl666s a-singing.
8 dementedxchicks a-giggling.
7 kahndiis a-ranting.
6 neverblinks a-smooching.
5 purple prittykittyvixs.
4 laying skitzosymatics.
3 Austrian tamchowders.
2 kitten tbma2003s.
And a new_snopes in a blackberry tree.
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Havent up dated this thing in a while. I just got off from school. My dad picked me up. I brought up the subject what where doing for x-mas. WE got ina fight nothing new. I told him I didnt want to go to Lorain sorry I dont feel like sitting there we aint getten  nothing from Family. I already know what the fuck is the point I sit there and look at the walls I can just stay home and do that like I do now. Hes like its all about family well shit. Its not just about family its about unity and friends family you know damn. I al ready asked Melisa and her mom said she did'nt care if  I came over. He said why she feels bad for you. I said yea I sit over there and tell them a whole bunch of lies WTF is he guilty cause he knows some of the shit he does it aint right o well. He says I am the odd ball well I don't feel like sitting at a mother fucking bar like duhhhhh sorry. I don't drink no more even when I have the chance to I just don't do that shit. Like At my brothers graduation I didnt do it. I know I could cause I was around family. Even If I did go they sit around omg you cut yyour hair about time you got rid of that mop head and them gothic looks. You don't look like a freak or an outcast. I will where what ever I fucking feel like. I feel uncomfterable around some of the people. I can't be me. I don't know. If I didnt go they'd be all mad I don't know what there problems is. It's like ever since my uncal got his money from his eye and gets workmens comp or whatever. Where invited to everything it wasnt like that befor. My dad says I am never home Sorry If you where home you'd see I  was home or sleeping. I am only gone on weekend's cause I don't have schoool and would like to not be home alon e or not be at a bar or somewhere I don't enjoy. My plains where to wake up stay home on X-mas till 12 oclock pm and then leave to Melisa's I don't know what I am gonna do. THIS SUCKS. I will figure it out.blah!!!!! Schools ok. *sigh* I wish it where summer. LMao another thing he brought up his birthday how I didnt get him anything or nothing or someshit and I said you did the same to me so don't think I will treat you like fucking king tut cause your my dad. Treat me how you wish to be treated its as easy as mac and cheese shit. The 19th of this month Christmas break and it fallows into winter we don't go back till January something. WOOO January! Piercing PARTY MEGANS house hehe!

I can't beleave I got to school on time! and I did'nt miss thank god.  It's was an ok day today. My uncal picked me up. I went to subway woowoo meatball sub with american chesse o0o good shit I forgot the name of the bread I get. After that I went to Rite Aid got some razors: INTUITION OWNS!!!!!!!!!.  .

no joke. They own. Ask Megan. o0o weee heh. Tommarows FRIDAY!!! I can't wait till the 19th cause x-mas break don't go back to school till January 5th! o0o party lol. Also during that time julie and jessica's comeing back to hang out with me. I feel like shit I feel like this to much  when I am alone or at home. I even feel like it sometimes in school. I also got my mid term today alll C's!! Today I found out theres a boy 17 years old and he's a freshmen omg CRazy shit and its funny. Welp I am outalso NEW look on journal! This picture was of me, ugly befor I cut my hair.

I had fun today About 9 oclock Julie shows up and jessicka I had a blast we went to the gastation it was so funny!!! Then we went to the mall we looked at these crazy books! lmao I had fun.Love ya girls <3 we are gonna hang out after x-mas and go to the mall! and shop! shop shop! Then I came home baby sat I watched Pirates of the Carrabean whatever Jhonny deep is so fucking hot peer hottness!!! Its Thursday But this happend tuesday! I havent been to bed yet