I am just so tired of everything. Greg in rehab, great, first time sober in 13 years, woo hah! We're all committed to the future, and that's great. But then something that he did to me comes back from the past, something I didn't know about.
I can get past it, but it won't be easy.
So do I nix everything, knowing that it will hurt me?
Or do I try to move past it, wondering if I'm being too much of a door mat?
Being an adult sucks so hard, but at least I'm not a stupid college twenty-something. Ugh, that was the worst!
But okay, good news, I am getting a (shared) office next week at work, and I sense promotion at the end of the year in the air. Mmmmmm.
It makes me feel super awesome to say "the next round of guys are queued up." If only I could actually be a player, instead of just occasionally talking like one.
In order to be successful over the next few months, I may need to give up two things I enjoy but don't love. One of those I am certain I can live without, as long as I can keep control of my credit card. The other one may be more difficult to avoid temptation, but I think in the long run I'll be better off.
I've been watching an anime series I really enjoy lately called the Twelve Kingdoms. Also, my mom will be putting my cat Athena to sleep soon. She is about sixteen now, and has lived a long life. I'll be there when she's extinguished from this world, too.
I've been keeping a private journal since my trip to New York. It's a very different experience from here because I can be absolutely frank. It's funny to read my own writing about sex, actual opinions of people, and other matters that I hold back on in here (probably for the good of everyone involved). Sadly, it means less posting here.
Life since finishing my book has been wonderful and social and crazy. I'm trying to tone things down and begin serious work on my revisions, however.
I have been drinking and writing since 8am. I've learned that moderate amounts of alcohol can duplicate that sleepy, dreamy state that can prove must productive for cranking out words. It is a delicate balancing act, and I'm pretty sure I'll be exhausted by the end of the day.
But also at the end of the day, I'll be busting out champagne, because before the day is through I will have completed my manuscript!
4,000 words written and counting today.
edit: I am having my mom call every few hours to make sure I'm on task. Nothing like having someone check up on you to spur production! LOL
I've bought my tickets, and I'll be in New York from Friday, April 24 until Monday, May 4. I'm starting to get really pumped about my trip and can't wait. Also, I should be finished with my book about a week before my trip (margin for error, of course), which will mean I can enjoy the vacation without feeling there's something I should be doing instead.
*I've been unemployed for about a month now, and I can't remembering being so happy in years. I look forward to every day now! *I've been taking this time to do some more house cleaning, and my room is looking a lot better (well, not today). I've also been eating a lot more fruit/veggies. *I'm going to be visiting NYC in a little over a month, and I'm really looking forward to it! *Socially I haven't been doing much, as I've been concentrating on my work. Romantic things are sort of on par for where I'd like them to be (i.e. not rocking the boat). *Writing has been going pretty well, particularly as I've eased into things. I generally write for about an hour at a time, and then do internet or play video games or otherwise take a break. Stilll hoping to build a bit more endurance! *Leveling a paladin in WoW, and made him an Enchanter/Jewel Crafter (always wanted a JC!). He's level 66 now. For my first few weeks I was playing pretty hard, but now that I'm just about to head into Northrend I'm chilling out, as my real goal was to hit 65 and start getting JC tokens. Eventually he'll be a Holy Paladin!
Unfortunately, it seems like my whole family is having a pretty down time right now, which sort of brings me down from my cloud a little bit. But not too far!
Today I made a new friend who gave me a ride home and will be my going-out partner until teh KRISTERS comes back, had a long Facebook conversation with an awesome friend, and gave two weeks' notice to my boss.
