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@breadfiend

🌸have a darling day🌸
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Reblogged

“It’s very simple, you make the wheel yourself.” The Witch’s Unicorn lectured. “It’s not hard.”

The Unicorn mustered her strength and produced the best wheel she could.

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Your hoarder grandfather dies and you gotta clean out his hoarder house but unfortunately he was a powerful wizard so you gotta clean out twelve tower floors of floor-to-ceiling cursed artefacts and expired mystery potions.

There's a rat infestation and you genuinely can't tell if they're natural rats or not.

He's got some really nice magical cupboards that lead to huge extradimensional spaces but those spaces are also crammed full of random bullshit.

You find like twelve magical ancestral swords in there. You're pretty sure that your family has a magical ancestral sword but you have no idea if it's any of these ones. You'll have to ask your mum but she refused to come to the tower so you're gonna have to lug all twelve of them across the country to her idyllic little village to find out.

Messing up my customer service hotline job and playing a gunshot sound effect over the phone then coming back with a slightly different accent