is there something wrong with wanting to be challeged by the things that we do or pursue in life? I'll take a challenge any day over something that can be done with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back (except for money, and things like that... )everyone loves free money!!!).
is that wrong or stupid of me to desire the kind of life where you have to push your self?
thank you few people who actually read my journal that commented on my last entry. i appreciate all of your friendships very much, even if i dont see you often.
and please, tell everyone you know to listen to my music...man, i hate myspace and the act of whoring out your music....nevermind, i will not do that. i dont care. life is much better when you dont care if you get one million friends or 12000000 plays a day on effing myspace...god i hate myspace. i really dont like my music being on it.
so my hands are fine and this job is awesome. its easy and pays well. 40 hours a week 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. weekends off. a serious job i suppose. but it is really awesome and im happy my hands never got too bad.
as far as losing the friend goes...yeah i guess they're just an aquaintance now. i actually confronted the issue and the person has still yet to make any effort to spend time or even call me. which says to me - my time is better spent not with you. and i get that sometimes people dissappear...but one of the things that this person said was that they had been spending a lot of time drinking and doing drugs... I know they arent at their house or at work drinking and doing drugs which means they are somewhere else - with me and what we had made plans to do very low on the priority list. that does not sound like a nice person to me.
I have a bass player and a drummer, now i need a keyboardist and precussion players. im shooting for five players(including myself) with one more person who just wears a robe and sings back up vocals(probably a girl). so i guess that makes 6, maybe seven if people feel like guest starring regularly - shayne, im pining for you here.
this is a long post I hope some people read it. job is great music is great the lost friend thing is just rediculous and every day that goes by that i dont hear from them the more and more i think they were and are a waste of time..it hurts to say that but how else am i supposed to react when this was one of the only people that I thought actually deserved my respect and trust?
i started work at treatt today. its easy. but some of the things we make and cleansers we use mess with my skin...i have very sensitive skin. everything smells funny.
i recieved a message from chris flemmons today...he told me my music was - ..."it's all very, very good stuff"... He mentioned my mixing and urged me to put it together and play.
i am pathetic enough with such a low self esteem that i am going to print what he sent me and put it on my wall. he is one of my heroes, how can I not?
here is a sad thing for you all too read and think i am a sissy. I am losing or have lost one of my best friends.
I ate at maccaroni grill yesterday, it was horrible. but i think im going to apply to bus tables. that way my skin will be left alone.
firstly, i guess im alone with this music thing..back to just me again. i havent heard from the other partner in crime for quite some time so im not waiting any longer.
secondly, i went to buy tickets for me and a few other people today and of course tom sold out his show in atlanta within at least the first half hour.
good news though. i may be starting at a company called Treatt sometime next week. they do oil and chemical extraction for use in foods and aromas and things. i had an interview and was told they needed to schedule my physical and drug testing and i would hear from them again on Monday. 40hrs week. i think i'll be working a 9 hour shift(6am-3pm). which, if my math is correct, equals 6 hours of sleep 9 hours of work and then 9 hours of music = 24 hours. although, I wont need that much music time, but i'll use it. turns out a full time job really wont hinder my music time at all...just have to get priorites straight...of course after summer when school starts i might be taking a couple night classes...so that will cut the days i get to play and write into probably 3 days a week.
hello friends of all walks !! please pause for a moment and read my update !!
this is the most important update on my livejournal I have ever made !!
I assure you I am not overreacting !!
For the first time in a very very very very long time one of the greatest musicians ever is going on tour. He is not playing in Florida but he is playing in Atlanta. On friday night I might camp out in front of Specs music. Tickets go on sale saturday morning and cost around 60 or 70 dollars.
The artist...Mr. Tom Waits. If i cannot find someone to go with me to this show I will be going alone. I do not care. How can anyone honestly pass up the opportunity to see Tom Waits live !!
If you claim to be a fan and pass this up, I assure you, you are not a fan. for the rest of your life you may only say "yeah, I sort of like tom waits." you may never say "yes, i do like tom waits." ...ever. at first i thought maybe this was a hoax or rumor but the atlanta show just popped up on ticketmaster. If anyone would like to camp out or take a trip to see him you may ride with me because either way i'll be there!
oh, and if you dont know who tom waits is...look at my icon.
i think i need to hire musicians to play my music. its more and more obvious to me everyday that I and only I am willing to throw all aspects of life into the trash in order to write, record and perform the amount of music I know I am capable of making. In turn these aspects of life will no longer be trash or disregarded, they will be the canvas to which I plaster sound. I am on my own and I think I am finally o.k. with this.
i am 22 years old now. how exciting. the only person not in my immediate family that made a strong effort to talk to me or try and see me on the day of my birthday was ckarla.
i guess im not surprised.
i will have an album of 10 electronicish songs done in 10 days. it might suck it might not, i dont care. it is being made just to make it. i wrote & recorded 3 songs on my birthday, instead of hanging out with friends.
busy
sleepy
uncomfortable