I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.

venge·ance
[ven-juhns]
- noun 1. infliction of harm in retaliation for a wrong

I have always been a vengeful person when it comes to where I'm concerned. One wrong and my automatic reaction is to rear back and strike hard and fast in the most vicious way possible. It's not the best trait to have, but it's a comfortable cloak I've wrapped about myself in a lifetime of spiteful people.

Raul's family meeting yesterday settled some things... I guess... But I wouldn't know since Raul refuses to talk about it. I'm not going to push him to talk about it, but I just asked my two questions and was done with it. But I will admit that there are some things that bother me. He keeps talking about if I had problems that I need to talk to his family and that his sister is still not coming to ANY of our holidays.

My brain has pretty much decided to detach and be an outsider until I see some change. I've put forth far too much effort to pretty much get no return on it. I've checked out and plan on just fucking enjoying my life right now and being with Raul is part of that happiness even if his family members are being judgmental. And I thought my family was the one to worry about...

I just needed somewhere to vent I guess since Raul pretty much said he didn't want me talking about it to our friends or anyone else. Just you LJ where there's some anonymity ...

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Who knows who even still has me on their friends list but I figured I need some ventilation from the smothering I've been feeling lately.

Let me give you a year in review....

Since I last posted...

I went to Ren Fair last year as a Pirate after custom ordering a steel boned corset from Damsel in this Dress on Etsy. I loved the costume so much I used it again this year on Raul and I's yearly trek.

That Christmas Raul gave me a promise/engagement ring and we plan on getting married... soonish...

My sister has returned to mostly normal and we're very close now. I am quite shocked.

I was laid off from teaching in March, but rehired by my school in July. Those were some very ugly months...

Raul and I moved in together and 2 weeks ago we moved in to our first home together.

We adopted/rescued a blue pit bull named Elmo who is quite possibly the quirkiest dog ever. Terrified of boxes and plastic bags but barks whenever he hears anyone pull in to the driveway and slam their door... And he's a cover hog. We'll be in bed and he'll some how move so that he is curled on all of the blankets. But, he's the love of our lives and I couldn't imagine life without him.

I teach 7th Grade English this year and while I have so much more freedom, I am insanely stressed with the heavier class load, crazier children, and down right harder teaching to do!

Raul was also in a car accident 2 days before we moved so we are yet again sharing my car... If it's not one thing, it's another...

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But Raul is at his parents' at the moment having this big family meeting about the crap his sister has been pulling the past few months. I can only hope it goes well-ish and that he can come back with a resolution that does not involve me killing his sister and burying her in the sewer line behind the house...

Man, LJ, I kind of missed you and your cathartic ways...

I've been at inservice all week and my fellow teachers are pretty hilarious. Especially my grade level content teachers. My mentor Cheney is this fantastic cranky older woman who has prolly some of the best one liners I've ever heard. LoL Then there's Finsey (Nick names are key ok?) who is dating the Orchestra teacher and is like, don't worry we got your back. So I pretty much spent the day going through my students and asking if any of the other teachers from 7th recognize them.

I, in my supreme luck, have landed the two most memorable belligerent kids in the school. Fuck. I also have the widely know weird kid who is all creeper-tastic toward girls, and is awkward in every sense of the word.

Lord help me.

I've also started work on my Renaissance Fair top, I took a bra that had busted in the middle, but other than that was perfect. I began E-6000ing leather scraps on to it to have this modge podge leather look to it. I have to first stage and I promise to upload pics when I find my camera.

I will pretty much me non-existant once school starts, but what else is new?

BTW SO MAD that The Tillman Story isn't playing in Houston. I followed that when it was in the news....

I know it's been forever but holy Toledo have I been busy. I know that's the likely excuse but with getting my teaching license in order, getting my classes finished, my things all in order for my classes to start (oh god I'll have students!), and then everything else on top of it.

The sister "ordeal" has had its up and downs and it's been bumpy, stressful, and frankly I told my parents that it's out of my hands because I can't deal with it anymore. I'm moving out in October (yay! finally, sleepovers with Raul and personal time!) and I frankly don't know if I'd keep close to her. I've tried so much but it's like she won't meet me halfway.

Anyway! I've been trying to get my Renaissance costume in order and I'm pretty sure that I'm going as a barbarian.


This is my inspiration picture. I will not be wearing the itsy bitsy bottoms. NO NO and No, no matter how much Raul gives me the puppy dog eyes.

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But Here's some pieces I either want to recreate, purchase, or something.... anyone who knows costuming, or anything like that suggestions would help SO MUCH.

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The cape I can dye rough linen and rough it up pretty easy, those boots I have some in brown kind of like it or I can find the traditional-ish ones for about 30/40 bucks. and any other assundry is pretty easy, it's just that bodice and pauldrons that I'm lost on...

I've seen pretty awesome tutorials on Jia Jem which her costumes are pretty awesome... but... yeah... help? opinions?

Chicago reminds me of my parents. They j'dore Chicago and I distinctly remember this blasting from the basement every Sunday morning as a child when we were getting ready to go to church or on the family day off. Ah memories....

Day 01: Your Favorite Song
Day 02: Your Least Favorite Song
Day 03: A Song That Makes You Happy
Day 04: A Song That Makes You Sad
Day 05: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone
Day 06: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere
Day 07: A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event
Day 08: A Song That You Know All The Words To
Day 09: A Song That You Can Dance To
Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Day 11: A Song From Your Favorite Band
Day 12: A Song From A Band You Hate
Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure
Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love
Day 15: A Song That Describes You
Day 16: A Song That You Used To Love But Now Hate
Day 17: A Song That You Used To Hate But Now Love
Day 18: A Song That You Hear Often On The Radio
Day 19: A Song That You Wish You Heard On The Radio
Day 20: A Song From Your Favorite Album
Day 21: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Angry
Day 22: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Happy
Day 23: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Sad
Day 24: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Wedding
Day 25: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Funeral
Day 26: A Song That Makes You Laugh
Day 27: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument
Day 28: A Song That You Wish You Could Play On An Instrument
Day 29: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Day 30: A Song From Your Childhood
Day 31: Your Favorite Song At This Time Last Year

This song while gorgeous always make me heartsick, I almost picked Enya, but she was more of a memory for me than a sadness. Celine Dion's rendition of Ave Maria was playing when my grandmother passed away in 2008. Then it proceeded to be played at her funeral as well. I could not stop crying when it came on, until that moment I could not sum up the emotion to cry at her death and then suddenly here I was standing in the reception room sobbing like my heart was breaking.

Day 01: Your Favorite Song
Day 02: Your Least Favorite Song
Day 03: A Song That Makes You Happy
Day 04: A Song That Makes You Sad
Day 05: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone
Day 06: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere
Day 07: A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event
Day 08: A Song That You Know All The Words To
Day 09: A Song That You Can Dance To
Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Day 11: A Song From Your Favorite Band
Day 12: A Song From A Band You Hate
Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure
Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love
Day 15: A Song That Describes You
Day 16: A Song That You Used To Love But Now Hate
Day 17: A Song That You Used To Hate But Now Love
Day 18: A Song That You Hear Often On The Radio
Day 19: A Song That You Wish You Heard On The Radio
Day 20: A Song From Your Favorite Album
Day 21: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Angry
Day 22: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Happy
Day 23: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Sad
Day 24: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Wedding
Day 25: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Funeral
Day 26: A Song That Makes You Laugh
Day 27: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument
Day 28: A Song That You Wish You Could Play On An Instrument
Day 29: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Day 30: A Song From Your Childhood
Day 31: Your Favorite Song At This Time Last Year

I love this song because the beat, the guitar, and Juanes in general make me smile and every time I hear it I smile and think of Raul. Mind you this is not "our song" but I'm always happy listening to this.



Day 01: Your Favorite Song
Day 02: Your Least Favorite Song
Day 03: A Song That Makes You Happy
Day 04: A Song That Makes You Sad
Day 05: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone
Day 06: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere
Day 07: A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event
Day 08: A Song That You Know All The Words To
Day 09: A Song That You Can Dance To
Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Day 11: A Song From Your Favorite Band
Day 12: A Song From A Band You Hate
Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure
Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love
Day 15: A Song That Describes You
Day 16: A Song That You Used To Love But Now Hate
Day 17: A Song That You Used To Hate But Now Love
Day 18: A Song That You Hear Often On The Radio
Day 19: A Song That You Wish You Heard On The Radio
Day 20: A Song From Your Favorite Album
Day 21: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Angry
Day 22: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Happy
Day 23: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Sad
Day 24: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Wedding
Day 25: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Funeral
Day 26: A Song That Makes You Laugh
Day 27: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument
Day 28: A Song That You Wish You Could Play On An Instrument
Day 29: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Day 30: A Song From Your Childhood
Day 31: Your Favorite Song At This Time Last Year

It's tied between two songs tbh


Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INCLUDE JAY-Z IF YOU'VE NEVER LISTENED TO HIM?! *writhing on the ground* Jesus! Her, the Jonas Bothers, Selena, Demi, fuck who gives a shit about all the other Disney spawn but they fucking drive me nuts. Miley who I'm sure is just in training to enter rehab or just go down in a ball of slutty flames just makes my brain bleed with some of the crap that comes out of her mouth. There is survival of the fittest for a goddamn reason and she should have gone over the cliff with the rest of the lemmings.


Orianthi - According to You. The lyrics in this song make it just.... wtf. IDEK how to describe my dislike of this song because I just tend to want to scream in annoyance.

Honorable mentions: A Milli - Lil' Wayne, Justin Bieber anything...

Day 01: Your Favorite Song
Day 02: Your Least Favorite Song
Day 03: A Song That Makes You Happy
Day 04: A Song That Makes You Sad
Day 05: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone
Day 06: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere
Day 07: A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event
Day 08: A Song That You Know All The Words To
Day 09: A Song That You Can Dance To
Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Day 11: A Song From Your Favorite Band
Day 12: A Song From A Band You Hate
Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure
Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love
Day 15: A Song That Describes You
Day 16: A Song That You Used To Love But Now Hate
Day 17: A Song That You Used To Hate But Now Love
Day 18: A Song That You Hear Often On The Radio
Day 19: A Song That You Wish You Heard On The Radio
Day 20: A Song From Your Favorite Album
Day 21: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Angry
Day 22: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Happy
Day 23: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Sad
Day 24: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Wedding
Day 25: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Funeral
Day 26: A Song That Makes You Laugh
Day 27: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument
Day 28: A Song That You Wish You Could Play On An Instrument
Day 29: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Day 30: A Song From Your Childhood
Day 31: Your Favorite Song At This Time Last Year

In other news, Raul's car up and DIED last night while he was at his second job (delivering for domino's) so he has my car until he comes to pick me up in a few minutes. I have to get fingerprinted for teaching then get my check, then I believe we were going to go look at car options for him.

Month Long Music Meme!

I promise I'll actually finish this because I love me some music LoL

Your Favorite Song, I'm actually kind of torn because there are a couple that I could just hit repeat and listen to them repeatedly on the verge of insanity.

1. Enigma - Gravity of Love



I love the electro-orchestral music of Massive Attack, Enigma, and the like because it is usually so musically and emotionally striking that it's almost impossible NOT to get an emotional response while listening to it. I just found an old CD I had made with this song on it and I was ecstatic. Raul jacked the cd and is copying it because he loved it at first listen LoL

2. Shakira - La Tortura



I'm such a sucker for Spanish music, Shakira and Juanes especially, but Juanes is for another day LoL She's so amazing in spanish that I always slur along to her music because my Spanish is utterly terrible. This at the moment is my ringtone and I'm always tempted to never pick up the phone so I can listen to it.

3. Motion City Soundtrack


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This will always hold such a place in my heart because I've met the band and I own all of their CDs, this is the epitome of my life and likes in high school. It's funny to see how much I've changed.


Day 01: Your Favorite Song
Day 02: Your Least Favorite Song
Day 03: A Song That Makes You Happy
Day 04: A Song That Makes You Sad
Day 05: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone
Day 06: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere
Day 07: A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event
Day 08: A Song That You Know All The Words To
Day 09: A Song That You Can Dance To
Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Day 11: A Song From Your Favorite Band
Day 12: A Song From A Band You Hate
Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure
Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love
Day 15: A Song That Describes You
Day 16: A Song That You Used To Love But Now Hate
Day 17: A Song That You Used To Hate But Now Love
Day 18: A Song That You Hear Often On The Radio
Day 19: A Song That You Wish You Heard On The Radio
Day 20: A Song From Your Favorite Album
Day 21: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Angry
Day 22: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Happy
Day 23: A Song That You Listen To When You’re Sad
Day 24: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Wedding
Day 25: A Song That You Want To Play At Your Funeral
Day 26: A Song That Makes You Laugh
Day 27: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument
Day 28: A Song That You Wish You Could Play On An Instrument
Day 29: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Day 30: A Song From Your Childhood
Day 31: Your Favorite Song At This Time Last Year

I'm watching District 9 and that is sooooo my favorite line. It's an awesome analysis of Apartheid done in such a way that it tricks you in to it.

Yes, I know it seems that I've been away entirely too long but life is pretty much gone in to hyperdrive since I graduated and got into my Teacher Certification Internship. I've been taking state boards, going to courses, and of course applying like a fiend to a bunch of schools.

I have my first interview for a middle school tomorrow morning and I'm so nervous about getting in right. As of right now I'm just so excited that I want to just GET a job. I can start anywhere and move around after I get in to the district. One step closer to independence!

In other weird news.... I totally had what I deem a pregnancy scare, Raul called it a worry. I was supposed to have gotten my period on the 14th... still never did, but Raul took me to get a pregnancy test just to allay my fears. It was negative. phew! I read up on my BC and it says it can eliminate my period after 6 months, well it's month 6. It totally made all my worries go away. But man was I sweating it for about 48 hours.

But Raul and I are still going strong obviously and we get to go on a mini vacation next month to Tulsa! Yay!