MartAV

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
lilolilyr
sassycelery

dere you go

kirschtein-s

ey

ey you lil shits

lets just talk about this here cookie recipe

this shit

is 

the

BOMB

HOLY SHIT

I JUST FINISHED THIS AND WOW IT TASTES AMAZING

YES

WONDERFUL

1000000/10 WOULD ATE AGAIN

sassycelery

yAy

post-and-out

For magic improvements on thing that is already perfect:

Use one spoon white sugar, and one spoon brown if you have it.

After microwave, before noms, add vanilla ice cream.

\o/

fan-troll

salt is a flavour enhancer, add just a tiny dash, not enough to make it salty.

animetrashdemon

Because I love you all.

randompastelemokitten23

reblogging cause i need to save this

prettydoddleoddle

A note for those who have trouble measuring butter with a spoon as I do: one cup I am sixteen tablespoons. Butter/margarine bricks are usually a half a cup, so just cut one eighth of that amount 

ironwoman359

These are really good! And yes, for the love of god, if you have it use white sugar and brown sugar, add just a pinch of salt, and as many chocolate chips as you darn well please. Great with icecream, whipped cream on top, or a tall glass of milk (keep in mind you gotta eat it with a spoon, you can’t dip it in milk) 

Super college friendly (trust me)

lee-not-garrison

I made this and it’s super awesome! Bonus things you could add: butterscotch flavoring, cut up KitKats, torn apart Milkyways, and stolen ice cream!

dying-by-fangirling

Ohhhh boy kiddos have at it!

virgil-sanders-embodied-anxiety

Reblogging so I remember to do this

cas-the-mighty-fluff

Just made this but am out of chocolate chips so used hot chocolate powder a splash of milk and marshmallows. HEAVANLY

thatonelonelydwaggy

Reblog to save a life

robinstreasuretrove

i will pray to you

robinstreasuretrove

i burnt it

yeahokayillreblogthat

yeah okay, ill reblog that!

lemonsharks

@taraljc i found it I found the sacred mug cookie recipe

taraljc

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bookwalmartav
captmuldoon

the most insane thing about moby dick is that i have never, ever felt more of a personal connection with a narrator - in the way that i feel like ishmael really is telling me the story. that i'm some stranger that happened to sit beside him, maybe ask his name, and suddenly he's taken my hand and telling me his story. except he suddenly disappears from his story, and it barely seems about him anymore. it's about the crew, it's about queequeg, it's about the young boy pip, it's about starbuck and the family he'll never see again, it's about ahab, it's about the ship, it's about the brutality of the whaling industry, it's about the beauty of these men who take it on, and the beauty of the creatures they hunt, and it's about god and how small and insignificant we are. and suddenly ishmael allows himself back into the story but it doesn't change anything. everything and everyone is dead and gone. 'and i only am escaped alone to tell thee.' the drama's done and the sea rolls on just as it did 5,000 years ago. the story is all ishmael has left of them. it's all he can give you. 'do you understand?' ishmael is asking you. 'can you bear the weight of their story? when remembering is all we can do to give any of this meaning? can you give any of this meaning?' and it's too late for you. you carry the story now, too. now you have to remember. grieve and remember and give it meaning.

bookwalmartav
theroundbartable

Arthur and his friends go to a coffee shop. It's a normal starbucks, the kind he's seen a thousand times.

Right next to the starbucks is a small tea shop.

Arthur: you know what? I think I wanna go try that instead

Friend: but everyone else is going to the coffee shop. You sure you don't wanna come?

Arthur: go ahead. I'll be right back

Several minutes later

Friend: how was it

Arthur: *visibly shaken*

Friend: oh god, Arthur, what happened? I should have warned you. The owner is said to be really rude

Arthur: *completely out of it* I walked in, certain I was straight, and now I can't stop thinking about kissing the rude guy at the counter

bookwalmartav
couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

I know in the books it’s already like, a Thing that Percy’s relationship with his godly family seems to be abnormally good- like, Poseidon’s not dad of the year but he’s also made it clear he deeply cares about Percy and has tried to warn/protect him in the past, there’s been brief references here and there that after tlo Percy started spending time in the underwater palace occasionally, he calls Amphitrite his step-mom and says she bakes him cookies and doesn’t mind that he’s messy when he stays over, he brought back that pendant Annabeth wears, little stuff like that- but tbh I wish it would be expanded on more because apart from the fact it’s sweet, it’s also like, kinda funny? when you think about how all the other gods are just. messes. about family. like let me just SEE him interact with his family more, it has such potential. He casually mentions he’s meeting his sister Kym at starbucks later and Jason’s like ‘she sold you out to a giant that wanted to murder you’ and Percy’s just like ‘yeah but that was months ago and dad made her apologize we’re cool now’. Annabeth still hasn’t forgiven her mom for the whole Mark-of-Athena-Suicide-Quest thing and they had a huge fight on Olympus the other day, the first time they had seen each other since the war ended, and Annabeth’s complaining about this to Percy, who’s Iris Messaging her from the bottom of the ocean because it’s Poseidon’s custody weekend. There’s a mandatory parent bake sale at school to raise money for a field trip but Sally’s on a book tour and Paul was prepared to just quit after he set the kitchen on fire, only for Amphitrite to stroll into the school the next day and ruin every PTA Mom’s life. Percy telling his friends to stay out of the water for a few days because he called Triton a bitch in the family group chat and he just wanted them to be careful. Percy trying to figure out if a bunch of Greek gods are expecting Christmas presents or not and wtf to get them if they are. Triton wanting to get Percy back for the bitch comment but knowing their dad won’t let him drown someone so he instead shows up at Percy’s mortal high school and does The Most to embarrass him. Tyson begging Percy to let him help babysit Estelle. Poseidon showing up at Career Day with absolutely no warning and trying not to laugh at Percy’s reaction. Percy getting his dad a fathers day card like he wanted to do in SoM!! Like it’s a dynamic I don’t want pushed to the side as much as it is!!! There’s so much to work with there!!! I want more! 

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

Percy tells his mortal friends from school that his dad is a fisherman and they believed him but one day he’s out with his friends and they just “”‘happen"“” to walk past Poseidon, who happily introduces himself to the kids but then when Percy asks what he’s doing there and he makes a point to check his surroundings in exaggeration before telling Percy he’s there on important work business for ‘The Family’ with a wink, then reaches into his pocket and hands Percy a bunch of Literal Golden Coins (‘just want to make sure you have enough money on you for dinner, son!’), before leaving and seemingly vanishing into the fog.

Everyone’s now fully convinced Percy’s dad is in the mob and Poseidon got Yelled At the following weekened when Percy slept over

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

Triton: Father, Perseus called me a bitch again!

Poseidon: He’s not….wrong, son-

Triton, swimming away angrily: I hate this fucking family

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

Even though they don’t care about mortal holidays and events they decide to try to celebrate them anyway but Faux Thanksgiving, henceforth referred to only as The Incident, went so incredibly badly that Percy nearly died twelve different times over the course of the night, Tyson ended up having to wear an eye patch for three weeks, an army of sharks that were urged into trying to stage an uprising stormed the palace, Triton had a turkey stuck on his head for a few hours, Kym downed six bottles of wine all by herself and spent the rest of the night screaming that she was gonna run away, the game room went up in smoke again and ten different islands and coastal towns were bombarded by storms and tidal waves because of everyone’s emotions getting out of hand

Amphitrite, who went into the night happy and excited for some family bonding, passive aggressively wears this shirt for the following month

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

when percy was in second grade he played flounder in his school’s performance of the little mermaid. he could just BARELY manage on the rollerskates and during the music break in ‘she’s in love’ one of the mersisters “accidentally” whipped him too hard and he launched right off the stage and into the audience.

triton makes it his immortal life’s mission to find a video tape of it (sally unfortunately hadn’t been able to afford a camera at the time) and when he finally does get his hands on one you can bet your ass it was all over olympus tv

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

percy’s mortal friends ask to see some pics of his half siblings but every picture he has of kym and triton looks like this:

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(the glowing is them trying to smite percy)

and then every picture he has of tyson is adorable but he visibly only has one eye like….what’s an undercover sea creature to do

piedude

The Mist causes every photo of Tyson to turn out like this:

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bookwalmartav

Anonymous asked:

okay obsessed with every single lore drop you give us about your child. She's a deal warlock, she's a diner regular, she's a bath chugger she the sludge queen. We love to see it

kaity--did answered:

She is a a certified yapper and that just kinda draws people to her I think

She’s also accidentally become like the favorite customer/regular of a like hipster coffee place in town that is drive through only and is run entirely by teens.

My husband loves their coffee and we straight up won’t go to Starbucks so we go there A LOT and she insists that we put her window down in the back so she can talk to the teens and ask them how they are and then tell them about their day.

I can hear “Penny is here!!” Over the speakers now when we go because they literally recognize our big silver car (that Penny has aptly named Totoro, and has told the teens DIS is TOTORO)

bookwalmartav
sandersstudies

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

birdyaika

Now THIS is customer service

sandersstudies

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life met someone who LOVES customer service so much. Like, her favorite passtime is taking angry phone calls and helping the person calm down and only hanging up when they are satisfied. Her dream job is working as a flight attendant and personally I would love to recieve instructions on how to put on an oxygen mask from her.

bookwalmartav
sadhoc

the pistachio food trend is soooo interesting because it's like. i've been following the californian pistachio water politics for years, as a californian with personal connections to agricultural workers but! basically there's been a big push in california agriculture over the last decade to pressure farmers to produce pistachios, because iran has dominated the global market in pistachios for decades, and the US government has been trying to weaken iran economically, so they want to make california pistachios a competitor. which is ridiculous, because california's agricultural infrastructure is suffering under a drought, and pistachios take insane amounts of water. so a ton of water is being redirected from the people in order to engage in a trade war with iran over fucking. pistachios.

anyway now that the US (i.e. california) is producing more pistachios than iran, the next step is to drive consumption of pistachios, so that the farmers who are producing these pistachios can continue to make money on them. ergo all the fancy pistachio coffees at starbucks and similar shit like suddenly being able to find pistachio butter in grocery stores when five years ago it was exclusively available at specialty stores and online, and the huge boom in pistachios foods in instagram and tiktok recipe content. like i watch a lot of instagram foodie reels (cooking/baking is one of my hobbies) and these get thrown onto everyone's feeds, to promote the purchasing of pistachios, so that the US can stick it to iran. it's. kind of incredible to watch this happen in real time, because it sounds like deranged conspiracy thought, but like. i've been watching this trend for the past decade and it's fucking real.

anyway one of the vegan recipe accounts i follow just posted like five pistachio-based recipes in a row and it makes me feel some kind of fucking way

sadhoc

it is extremely relevant that pistachios are so easy to acquire here, but acorns, which are an indigenous California food staple crop, are impossible to find even in the best stocked grocery stores, and knowing how to prepare them for consumption is a rarer skill than sourdough starter

humanfist

#as a Californian I have surface level commentary#please correct me if I'm wrong about it#but also yes pistachios should not be grown in Californian#and the specific politics of growing them domestically here is a specific cultural flashpoint#however this issue is not pistachio specific and has not been for a very long time#California for decades has the burden of being the sole producer of so many “luxury” foods distributed to the rest of the US and the world#while producing little to no staple crops like “the big four” (rice wheat corn soy)#not to say we should produce those either bc we're very water overtaxed#California also has the specific tension of the central valley having some of the most fertile soil of the planet#(which iirc is a byproduct of it intermittently being a giant lake for millions of years and having deposits settle at the bottom of it)#and we have MILES of topsoil while the “breadbasket” regions of the country are on the brink of stripping themselves bare#and NOW we're at an economic point where we're trying to be more isolationist as a country with tariffs n shit#and that's gonna put even MORE pressure on California#and our water use is already unsustainable#but when ppl talk about CAs water use the finger is always pointed at the metro areas#which yes do need better water management#however#the overwhelming majority of water use in CA is used for agriculture#like#it's not even close#and obvs yes there's different infrastructure#but the net result of this is that California is basically exporting it's water use to other states

California, Water You Doing?
[Epistemic status: Low confidence. I have found numbers and stared at them until they made sense to me, but I have no education in this area
Slate Star Codex
catboybiologist

Reblogging my tags for this link, seems like a good little read

catboybiologist

So two things to note:

1, this blog is old (from 2015) and the comments about urban water use have actually become more of a divide. Urban areas have taken more water saving measures than ever before, while agriculture takes very little.

2, the nestle San Bernardino national Forest water use incident (of about a decade ago) is hand waved away, but I think it misses what was the problem there. That water was water that could easily very directly supply extremely dry urban areas East of LA, with little additional infrastructure. Most of CA's water is in Sierra reservoirs and lakes, which can and have been redirected to urban areas(eg hetch hetchy and mono lake), but those are large infrastructure projects. Nestle was an immediate problem, overall water use of urban vs ag is a long term problem.

Good blog for the stats and overall mentality, misses a lot of the finer points.

bookwalmartav
sadhoc

the pistachio food trend is soooo interesting because it's like. i've been following the californian pistachio water politics for years, as a californian with personal connections to agricultural workers but! basically there's been a big push in california agriculture over the last decade to pressure farmers to produce pistachios, because iran has dominated the global market in pistachios for decades, and the US government has been trying to weaken iran economically, so they want to make california pistachios a competitor. which is ridiculous, because california's agricultural infrastructure is suffering under a drought, and pistachios take insane amounts of water. so a ton of water is being redirected from the people in order to engage in a trade war with iran over fucking. pistachios.

anyway now that the US (i.e. california) is producing more pistachios than iran, the next step is to drive consumption of pistachios, so that the farmers who are producing these pistachios can continue to make money on them. ergo all the fancy pistachio coffees at starbucks and similar shit like suddenly being able to find pistachio butter in grocery stores when five years ago it was exclusively available at specialty stores and online, and the huge boom in pistachios foods in instagram and tiktok recipe content. like i watch a lot of instagram foodie reels (cooking/baking is one of my hobbies) and these get thrown onto everyone's feeds, to promote the purchasing of pistachios, so that the US can stick it to iran. it's. kind of incredible to watch this happen in real time, because it sounds like deranged conspiracy thought, but like. i've been watching this trend for the past decade and it's fucking real.

anyway one of the vegan recipe accounts i follow just posted like five pistachio-based recipes in a row and it makes me feel some kind of fucking way

sadhoc

it is extremely relevant that pistachios are so easy to acquire here, but acorns, which are an indigenous California food staple crop, are impossible to find even in the best stocked grocery stores, and knowing how to prepare them for consumption is a rarer skill than sourdough starter

moniquill

too good to stay in the tags @ookaookaooka:

#ive reblogged this before but YES THIS#acorns are dropping right now this time of year!!#not every oak tree drops every year but the ones that do drop thousands#last year there was literally one that was dropping one every few minutes it was nuts#ive been going around gathering acorns every chance i get#they take a while to process but it's not too hard#unfortunately we suspect my partner is allergic so i may have to just give them away but that's okay#i'm also experimenting with keeping them long term without spoilage (or squirrel theivery)#i'm not sure if it's the nut itself he's allergic to or if it's the powder on the shells#or if some of the ones i was handling were moldy (he's allergic to mold too)#also! if you want to make your own acorn flour (or just eat them in general)#do yourself a favor and do the cold leaching process#it takes longer but it's WAAAAY less work. it's 2 minutes a day for a week to change the water#gather the nuts crack em open pick out the bad ones#chop up the good ones (or throw em in a blender) and stick em in a jar of water#drain and replace the water once a day till it's no longer cloudy (will likely still be tinted reddish brown but thats okay)#spread em on a baking sheet and pop em in the oven on the very lowest setting till they're all dry#then grind em up and you've got acorn flour!#it won't be stretchy like wheat flour (no gluten) but it's delicious#you can combine it with wheat flour for cooking or just use it on its own#it's yummy and full of fats and protein

bookwalmartav
sadhoc

the pistachio food trend is soooo interesting because it's like. i've been following the californian pistachio water politics for years, as a californian with personal connections to agricultural workers but! basically there's been a big push in california agriculture over the last decade to pressure farmers to produce pistachios, because iran has dominated the global market in pistachios for decades, and the US government has been trying to weaken iran economically, so they want to make california pistachios a competitor. which is ridiculous, because california's agricultural infrastructure is suffering under a drought, and pistachios take insane amounts of water. so a ton of water is being redirected from the people in order to engage in a trade war with iran over fucking. pistachios.

anyway now that the US (i.e. california) is producing more pistachios than iran, the next step is to drive consumption of pistachios, so that the farmers who are producing these pistachios can continue to make money on them. ergo all the fancy pistachio coffees at starbucks and similar shit like suddenly being able to find pistachio butter in grocery stores when five years ago it was exclusively available at specialty stores and online, and the huge boom in pistachios foods in instagram and tiktok recipe content. like i watch a lot of instagram foodie reels (cooking/baking is one of my hobbies) and these get thrown onto everyone's feeds, to promote the purchasing of pistachios, so that the US can stick it to iran. it's. kind of incredible to watch this happen in real time, because it sounds like deranged conspiracy thought, but like. i've been watching this trend for the past decade and it's fucking real.

anyway one of the vegan recipe accounts i follow just posted like five pistachio-based recipes in a row and it makes me feel some kind of fucking way

sadhoc

it is extremely relevant that pistachios are so easy to acquire here, but acorns, which are an indigenous California food staple crop, are impossible to find even in the best stocked grocery stores, and knowing how to prepare them for consumption is a rarer skill than sourdough starter

whimsicallywiddershins

So I lived in the California Central Valley for a while, and my job had me interacting with farmers everyday, and yeah, that all happened. It was bizarre to watch. I did miss some of it, because I was up in the northern part of the valley, and pistachios are grown a bit more south. But pistachios are not easy to harvest. They require very specialized equipment that doesn't work for anything else. Its expensive and once a farmer is innthe pistachio business, its very hard to leave it. Also, so many famers have switched to the cash crops of almonds and pistachios, that normal food, like lettuce, carrots, ect, is not being grown in the Central Valley anymore, which raises prices. The harvest is also very dusty, and causes really bad air pollution during harvest time. (Not as bad as almonds, but still pretty bad.)

So yeah, pistachios require tons of water, in an area with regular droughts, and cause excessive air pollution. Which doesn't seem too bad, but the Central Valley has the worst air quality in California, and is actually one of the worst places for air quality in the US. The geographic shape of the Valley, the inversion and ocean influenced weather patterns, plus the wind pushing all the smog from the Bay Area and LA into the Valley, makes some very bad air conditions. Since the air pollution is caused by mostly external factors, it is not easy to fix. Pistachios and almonds are just adding to the problem.