I have recently joined runescape.com. My user name is Sailordragon. Boobookittylilo just would not fit. I may decide to sign up for a second name if I can come up with a really good one. My husband recently joined as well. My sis introduced it to us when she visited this past weekend. I wish I would have been able to remember her name so I can add her to my friend's list. I'm definately going to add Randy.
I have also recently joined MySpace.com and MindViz.com I do not know much about MySpace. MindViz has about 24 websites linked in that you can also join. My favorites for right now include JournalHell.com, picsFolio.com, avatarhell.com, and 12GraceStreet.com I really like the flexibility of the MindViz network and I hope that LiveJournal can pick up on some of the kewl things that JournalHell is doing.
As I was talking with a friend the other day about old acquaintances, I couldn’t help but think about how friends in our lives “die” all the time. Of course they don’t necessarily physically die, but their departure from our lives might as well be considered a type of death. Whether it’s friends from high school, college, old jobs or other places, we just seem to lose touch after a while. This might be a gradual death with constant calls and visits turning into a few trickling emails, but sooner or later the process becomes complete, and you realize that it’s been eleven months since you’ve heard from or talked to your friend. The initial break is always the hardest time, but the pangs of separation soon ease. That’s when the death becomes complete.
These trains of thought made me think about the friend that I most miss out of the “friendship death” process. It made me a bit ashamed to think of how many friendships I have let fall by the wayside. I thought about my best friend from middle school and how we burned up the roads on our bikes for hours everyday. I thought about my best friend from high school who I had to leave when my family moved and how I never let him really know how painful that really was. I thought about the different people who I became so close to during my summer jobs at camps and churches and about how life has simply made us all so busy that it is difficult to keep up with each other. Then I realized that the person that I perhaps wish I still knew was the oldest of all my friends.
My friendship with this person began in second grade and continued through seventh grade when my family moved to another town. He was the first person I consciously remember hanging out with at school. He was the first person who invited me into his family, and he was the first friend that was also invited into my family. We played together, we were creative together, we did all the things that kids do at that age.
Amazingly, it never occurred to us that much of society might look down on us because he was black and I was white. It never hit us that the other kids in our class only hung out with kids of their own ethnicity, and their parents didn’t always approve of friendships with kids of another color. It never even entered our minds. We were children.
We both shared a great childhood together, learning about each other’s families and traditions, never questioning as to whether this was a “black” thing or a “white” thing. For us, this was simply a family thing. We ate at each other’s tables; we shared each other’s houses. In elementary school, we entered the talent contest as a rap duo. Sometimes I still watch the video tape of that event and laugh at the humor of childhood when we were still too young to be scared, too young to “know any better.”
Looking back now, I can see that the death of our friendship began like any “friendship death” would. We grew up, found new interests and moved into other directions, but I also can’t help but notice today how the cards were always stacked against us. As much as we pride ourselves today on being an equal opportunity society, we can’t kid ourselves and think that we really give equal opportunities to everyone. I think about my own friendship circle—the people who I have over for dinner, the people who were in my wedding—and they are all very white. Sure I’ve had a few friends of other ethnicities and nationalities, but for the most part, my closest friends remain the people that look the most like me. I can see how the forces of our society have moved my friend and I in these directions. We are told in all aspects of our lives, “You are safest with those who look like you.”
And so tonight as I write this, I lament the death of my friend. It is not a physical death, although I would not even know if it actually was because I have ceased to have contact with him. It was not a deliberate action, but one that I can now see was dictated to us by the world we live in. I don’t miss this friend’s company, humor or anything else, because in truth, I know very little about him now. What I miss is the opportunity that I had, an opportunity to be a part of a family that I have little chance to be in now. My life seems bland in comparison to what it could have been with that friend.
Friendships will live and die; this is the nature of them. We are meant to grow and change and to do so with different people at different times; however, we shouldn’t let a sometimes unjust world tell us which people this growing and changing should be occurring with. Ethnicity, gender, economic status—these are terms that simply seek to divide. Instead, let us take the time and make the effort to keep in contact with valuable friends, and let us learn a new language, a language where “friend” is governed simply by love.
[Lane Davis dabbles in religion, philosophy, music and literature to name a few. He and his wife live in Montgomery, Ala.]
I don't know if I have made an entry about my community yet, but here goes nothing.
I decided to get into the community world. I made a community of my own. My hope is that we can get some people in there to become good friends and chat about various topics. Right now I have a few general rules posted, but depending on what crowd I have, a few might lighten up some. The link is below.
I thought that it was because you were offended or something by me or something I said/wrote. I had sent you an e-mail but I never got a reply. I get little time to update because I'm 24/7 with my 2 sons and when I have a few minutes it's usually only during the weekend when my husband is at work and my sister isn't visiting. You're more than welcome to keep me/readd on your friends list if you'd like. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I like some of the poetry that I see in your journal. I love poetry, but writing it is a bit too difficult for me to do often. If you'd like to chat sometime, I have AIM/AOL, MSN/Windows/hotmail, yahoo messengers.
Yeah I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now But hey, what daddy always tell you? Straighten up little soldier Stiffen up that other limb What you crying about? You got me
Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad Well I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry Cuz you're scared, I ain't there? Daddy's with you in your prayers No more crying, wipe them tears Daddy's here, no more nightmares We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it Laney uncles crazy, aint he? Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it We're all we got in this world When it spins, when it swirls When it whirls, when it twirls Two little beautiful girls Lookin' puzzled, in a daze I know it's confusing you Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me But things have gotten so bad between us I don't see us ever being together ever again Like we used to be when we was teenagers But then of course everything always happens for a reason I guess it was never meant to be But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream
[Chorus] Now hush little baby, don't you cry Everything's gonna be alright Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, i told ya Daddy's here to hold ya through the night I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why We feel how we feel inside It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby But i promise momma's gon' be alright
It's funny I remember back one year when daddy had no money Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom And at the time every house that we lived in Either kept getting broke into and robbed Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre And flew you and momma out to see me But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it And you and Laney were to young to understand it Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here I like the sound of that, yeah It's got a ring to it don't it? Shh, momma's only gone for the moment
[Chorus]
And if you ask me too Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird I'mma give you the world I'mma buy a diamond ring for you I'mma sing for you I'll do anything for you to see you smile And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine I'mma break that birdies neck I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad (haha)
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