click it
more points for me.
more points for me.
of course
it turns out roger didnt go so not only am i not making money today, but im at home bored too. kara is at work and brett...well, i dont think i wanna see brett anymore actually. oh well.
i am feeling really shitty. my dad told me that i was worthless unless i went to school, but at the same time he refuses to pay a dime. he said that i will end up living in a trailor with some loser ass boyfriend and pregnant with three kids running around the house already, and that i better get used to not being as spoiled as i am now.
Spoiled? ive work so hard for everything i have! I was in the top twenty of my graduating class and i made varsity field hockey! i have a job and i have my own car and i WANT to go to school too! How many other kids my age can say that?
He thinks that just because im a music junkie and i wear black bracelets that ill spend my life on the streets of little river pan handling.
he makes me feel like killing myself. i wish people could understand what its like to have a dad who hates your guts.
i am feeling really shitty. my dad told me that i was worthless unless i went to school, but at the same time he refuses to pay a dime. he said that i will end up living in a trailor with some loser ass boyfriend and pregnant with three kids running around the house already, and that i better get used to not being as spoiled as i am now.
Spoiled? ive work so hard for everything i have! I was in the top twenty of my graduating class and i made varsity field hockey! i have a job and i have my own car and i WANT to go to school too! How many other kids my age can say that?
He thinks that just because im a music junkie and i wear black bracelets that ill spend my life on the streets of little river pan handling.
he makes me feel like killing myself. i wish people could understand what its like to have a dad who hates your guts.
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sad
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frikkin hungry
I just got up because Kim-slut was yelling at my mom. Luckily my mom left for work so the noise stopped.
Fucking Kim-slut. When will she grow up?
I have to work today...yawn. I go in at noon. its my day off. i am covering for roger because he and his fiance are going to pick out flowers or some thing like that.
otherwise, all is boring. my thumb looks a little better, but its starting to be bruised and it still hurts like a mo-fo.
and my boob is doing fine after that crunch last night, just so you all know.
i feel so depressed. my life is so pointless. god.
Fucking Kim-slut. When will she grow up?
I have to work today...yawn. I go in at noon. its my day off. i am covering for roger because he and his fiance are going to pick out flowers or some thing like that.
otherwise, all is boring. my thumb looks a little better, but its starting to be bruised and it still hurts like a mo-fo.
and my boob is doing fine after that crunch last night, just so you all know.
i feel so depressed. my life is so pointless. god.
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awake
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Guess Who?
My ex boyfriend. His name is Cale and he was at the show with Justin. i didn't want to say hi, but justin dragged him over. cale probably didn't want to talk to me either. he's so stuck up sometimes. so i pretended to be nice. well, as nice as you can be at a hardcore show.
but anyway, other then that, the show was good, and I got some bruises and left some on a few fuckin poser kids and it was all fun and good until i got a fist in the boob.
i couldn't breathe.
it hurt
it was so awesome.
but anyway, other then that, the show was good, and I got some bruises and left some on a few fuckin poser kids and it was all fun and good until i got a fist in the boob.
i couldn't breathe.
it hurt
it was so awesome.
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pissed off
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Avoiding the Scene
Tonight me and Kara go to the show
Brett's band and a couple others.
People from highschool will be there. Will they being posing?
We are seeing Five Mighty Aces and Burning Weather. It should be good but it might be lame. I guess we'll see.
I put some purple stripes in my hair for the event, amazing, don't you think?
I might go halfs and get a webcam with Kim-Slut, but we'll see.
Have to get ready for the show, I am in the mood to get my ass kicked but some fifteen year old guys who think they are too kool for skool.
Rock.
Brett's band and a couple others.
People from highschool will be there. Will they being posing?
We are seeing Five Mighty Aces and Burning Weather. It should be good but it might be lame. I guess we'll see.
I put some purple stripes in my hair for the event, amazing, don't you think?
I might go halfs and get a webcam with Kim-Slut, but we'll see.
Have to get ready for the show, I am in the mood to get my ass kicked but some fifteen year old guys who think they are too kool for skool.
Rock.
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moody
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The World is a Vampire
If the last part of my name was "insale" my name would be Kate Beckinsale.
That would be much better then Beckham. My father's stupid name. Today was good though!
Brett talked to me. I was driving to get some black eyeliner because Kim-slut took mine. And he was at Walmart. So we talked. it was kind of awkward, oi.
but i did hug him, omg it felt so good to touch him again. he looked gorgeous as always. he said he really missed me, but that he was scared to get too close to me. i would've cried, but i don't think i have any tears left for Brett. he also told me why he missed band practice. he was drunk at his friends house. he wouldn't say who. probably a girl.
oi, i miss him so fucking much it kills.
trains collide
people died
you were there
i was inside
trapped under
a fallen curve
glass and wire
my lungs on fire
you took my hand
and pulled
and pulled
and pulled
But then you left
I'm here alone
amongst dead bodies
and broken bone.
my bloody face
my bloody arms
the blaring of a car alarm
this accident was meant to kill us both
but only I am dead.
dead.....................
That would be much better then Beckham. My father's stupid name. Today was good though!
Brett talked to me. I was driving to get some black eyeliner because Kim-slut took mine. And he was at Walmart. So we talked. it was kind of awkward, oi.
but i did hug him, omg it felt so good to touch him again. he looked gorgeous as always. he said he really missed me, but that he was scared to get too close to me. i would've cried, but i don't think i have any tears left for Brett. he also told me why he missed band practice. he was drunk at his friends house. he wouldn't say who. probably a girl.
oi, i miss him so fucking much it kills.
trains collide
people died
you were there
i was inside
trapped under
a fallen curve
glass and wire
my lungs on fire
you took my hand
and pulled
and pulled
and pulled
But then you left
I'm here alone
amongst dead bodies
and broken bone.
my bloody face
my bloody arms
the blaring of a car alarm
this accident was meant to kill us both
but only I am dead.
dead.....................
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confused
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A Stupid Survey Thing
Got this from a friend of mine: She thinks I should fill it out because I am new on live journal, so I am only doing it as a favor. Hope you enjoy my boring self.
(1) The singular most boring question: Whats your name? Kate Aurora Beckham
(2) Are you happy with it? I guess
(3) Are you named after anyone? no
(4) Are you a prostitute? only when it's necessary. yeah right
(5) Your screenname: xbloodyemoheartx
(6) Would you name a child of yours after you? no
(7) Then what would you name your children? Gwendolyn Ivy and Tyler I dunno.
(8) If you were born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name be? probably something really stupid.
(9) If you could switch names with a friend,who would that be? I have a friend named Jada and I think that's a lot prettier then Kate
(10) Are there any mispronounciations/typos that people do with your name constantly? people say beckham like it's "Beck - ham" but it's just ONE word dudes.
(11) Would you drop your last name if you became famous? only cuz it's my dad's name
BASICS
- - - - -
(12) Your gender: female.
(13) Straight/gay/bi? whatever comes alone
(14) Single? yes
(15) Want to be? no
(16) Your birthday: Jan. 10, 1985
(18) Age you act: Mentally-18, Emotionally-13, Physically-21
(19) Age you wish you were: I like the age I am
(20) Your height: 5'4
(21) The color of your eyes: brown
(22) Happy with it? no
(23) The color of your hair: black at the moment
(24) Happy with it? i guess
(25) Left/right/ambidextrous? left
26) Your living arrangement? my fucking parents house
(27) Your family: mom, dad, kim, jake, me
(28) Have any pets? cat
(29) What's your job: i work at a restuarant as a waitress and make a lot of tips!
(30) Piercings? nose, lip, ears
(31) Tattoos? I have a black and red star on my right ankle
(32) Obsessions? guys with black hair and guys that are tall and guys that are NICE and not JERKS
(33) Addictions? caffeine
(35) Do you speak another language? no
(36) Have a favourite quote? "This distance, seems terrible?"
(37) Do you have a webpage? not that i'd like to share
- - - - -
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
- - - - -
(38) Do you live in the moment? I try my best to
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? yes
(40) Do you have any secrets? wouldn't you love to know that.
(41) Do you hate yourself? yes, I am a retard and nobody loves me or ever will
(42) Do you like your handwriting? who the fuck cares?
(43) Do you have any bad habits? I bit my nails when I'm nervous
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people? my stomache is flat cuz i do 200 crunches a day.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? Stabbed in the Back by Life
(46) What's your biggest fear? being disliked, and losing Brett
(47) Can you sing? sort of
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? why the hell do people do that?
(49) Are you a loner? No, I have a lot of friends
(50) What are your no. 1 priorities in life? to finally find somebody who treats me the way a human deserves to be treated
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? probably not
(52) Are you a daredevil? sort of
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? I hate the way I am. I get attached, and I hate people to hate me, and so then I hate myself because they hate me.
(55) Have you got a journal? yeah but I write so hard on the pages it's ripped all up
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? my greatest strength is being true to how i really am even though a lot of people don't like it, and my greatest weakness is the people I am still attached to.
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd have a different family
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity. creativity since I am an artist. Or like to pretend I am anyway
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong? not at all
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? Brett...(and that's not doing)
(62) Do you think life has been good so far? no fucking way
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? To never trust anybody because all people do is hurt other people
(64) What do you like the most about your body? my stomache
(65) And least? my ugly face
(66) Do you think you are good looking? everything from the shoulders down is ok
(67) Are you confident? no
.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like? I'd be Scout from To Kill A Mockingbird
(69) Do people know how you feel? No
(70) Are you perceived wrongly? All the time
There happy? Now fuck off.
(1) The singular most boring question: Whats your name? Kate Aurora Beckham
(2) Are you happy with it? I guess
(3) Are you named after anyone? no
(4) Are you a prostitute? only when it's necessary. yeah right
(5) Your screenname: xbloodyemoheartx
(6) Would you name a child of yours after you? no
(7) Then what would you name your children? Gwendolyn Ivy and Tyler I dunno.
(8) If you were born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name be? probably something really stupid.
(9) If you could switch names with a friend,who would that be? I have a friend named Jada and I think that's a lot prettier then Kate
(10) Are there any mispronounciations/typos that people do with your name constantly? people say beckham like it's "Beck - ham" but it's just ONE word dudes.
(11) Would you drop your last name if you became famous? only cuz it's my dad's name
BASICS
- - - - -
(12) Your gender: female.
(13) Straight/gay/bi? whatever comes alone
(14) Single? yes
(15) Want to be? no
(16) Your birthday: Jan. 10, 1985
(18) Age you act: Mentally-18, Emotionally-13, Physically-21
(19) Age you wish you were: I like the age I am
(20) Your height: 5'4
(21) The color of your eyes: brown
(22) Happy with it? no
(23) The color of your hair: black at the moment
(24) Happy with it? i guess
(25) Left/right/ambidextrous? left
26) Your living arrangement? my fucking parents house
(27) Your family: mom, dad, kim, jake, me
(28) Have any pets? cat
(29) What's your job: i work at a restuarant as a waitress and make a lot of tips!
(30) Piercings? nose, lip, ears
(31) Tattoos? I have a black and red star on my right ankle
(32) Obsessions? guys with black hair and guys that are tall and guys that are NICE and not JERKS
(33) Addictions? caffeine
(35) Do you speak another language? no
(36) Have a favourite quote? "This distance, seems terrible?"
(37) Do you have a webpage? not that i'd like to share
- - - - -
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
- - - - -
(38) Do you live in the moment? I try my best to
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? yes
(40) Do you have any secrets? wouldn't you love to know that.
(41) Do you hate yourself? yes, I am a retard and nobody loves me or ever will
(42) Do you like your handwriting? who the fuck cares?
(43) Do you have any bad habits? I bit my nails when I'm nervous
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people? my stomache is flat cuz i do 200 crunches a day.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? Stabbed in the Back by Life
(46) What's your biggest fear? being disliked, and losing Brett
(47) Can you sing? sort of
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? why the hell do people do that?
(49) Are you a loner? No, I have a lot of friends
(50) What are your no. 1 priorities in life? to finally find somebody who treats me the way a human deserves to be treated
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? probably not
(52) Are you a daredevil? sort of
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? I hate the way I am. I get attached, and I hate people to hate me, and so then I hate myself because they hate me.
(55) Have you got a journal? yeah but I write so hard on the pages it's ripped all up
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? my greatest strength is being true to how i really am even though a lot of people don't like it, and my greatest weakness is the people I am still attached to.
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd have a different family
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity. creativity since I am an artist. Or like to pretend I am anyway
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong? not at all
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? Brett...(and that's not doing)
(62) Do you think life has been good so far? no fucking way
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? To never trust anybody because all people do is hurt other people
(64) What do you like the most about your body? my stomache
(65) And least? my ugly face
(66) Do you think you are good looking? everything from the shoulders down is ok
(67) Are you confident? no
.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like? I'd be Scout from To Kill A Mockingbird
(69) Do people know how you feel? No
(70) Are you perceived wrongly? All the time
There happy? Now fuck off.
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- depressed
-
Perfectly...
Shitty. Well, I am up at five am lovely.
What did I do?
I was cutting an apple last night and I sliced my finger and now I have stitches.
Hardcore, dude.
Now I can't play guitar. And it hurts to draw
What the hell am I going to do with a sliced thumb?
Brett will laugh at me like he always does.
My fucking father yelled at me like it was my fault. I can not wait to get the hell out of here and go down to FA for school. It is so bad here.
Yesterday mom was just TALKING to Kim, and Kim started flipping out telling mom that she couldn't control her and if she wanted to go fuck every guy in town she would and mom lost it and said she was going to tell dad and then Kim shut up and started crying because she knows how dad will react.
I'm so glad I am a virgin. Kim is so slutty, and she is always miserable because all she does is get into trouble with my parents for all the guys.
I just have Brett, well, I HAD Brett. I don't know about anymore. He is being so weird lately, with his band too. I talked to Andy and he said that Brett didn't show up for practice the other day. I don't know what's going on with him. I hope he'll IM me today.
But for now I have to go to work. Awesome, another day in the stifling hot kitchen of GJ's.
Oh well, making money is not a bad thing, although money is fucking stupid and I hate it.
Kara and I are going to rent Donnie Darko tonight and watch it in our most emo-est undies and make popcorn too. I'm so excited, rad!
What did I do?
I was cutting an apple last night and I sliced my finger and now I have stitches.
Hardcore, dude.
Now I can't play guitar. And it hurts to draw
What the hell am I going to do with a sliced thumb?
Brett will laugh at me like he always does.
My fucking father yelled at me like it was my fault. I can not wait to get the hell out of here and go down to FA for school. It is so bad here.
Yesterday mom was just TALKING to Kim, and Kim started flipping out telling mom that she couldn't control her and if she wanted to go fuck every guy in town she would and mom lost it and said she was going to tell dad and then Kim shut up and started crying because she knows how dad will react.
I'm so glad I am a virgin. Kim is so slutty, and she is always miserable because all she does is get into trouble with my parents for all the guys.
I just have Brett, well, I HAD Brett. I don't know about anymore. He is being so weird lately, with his band too. I talked to Andy and he said that Brett didn't show up for practice the other day. I don't know what's going on with him. I hope he'll IM me today.
But for now I have to go to work. Awesome, another day in the stifling hot kitchen of GJ's.
Oh well, making money is not a bad thing, although money is fucking stupid and I hate it.
Kara and I are going to rent Donnie Darko tonight and watch it in our most emo-est undies and make popcorn too. I'm so excited, rad!
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bored
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