Writer's Block: Talking Ducks

First of all, Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. That kid has some major issues. Most of the time I think he's funny. But he has this messed up way that he laughs.(I think that's brought up in Brian Sings and Swings) The whole wanting to kill his mother thing, yeah that's creepy. Brian the dog was right, he is a pompous little antichrist. haha! Stewie used to be allot cooler when he was evil, but when season 4 started up, he sort of veered away from that and got more witty like Brian. Gone was the kid who was out to get his mum. Never really figured out why he went through such a character change. Maybe he calmed down a bit in-between seasons 3 and 4. All he needed was a little time off, I suppose. They revisited that matricidal tendancy of his during the 6th season in a vurtual simulation. And that part of Stewie Kills Lois where Brian tells him to either put up or shut up? Priceless. Yep, Brian has to be my favorite character from the whole series. It'd be neat to own a guide dog like that. But he'd have to go to AA before leading me around. What an apt description he gave of Blare Witch Project! Wonder what he'd think of Cloverfield? I actually read the plot synopsis for that and liked it.

Cobra Commander from G. I. Jo was also disturbing. Here's a guy who wants to burn all of America's money and replace it with the Cobra organization's serpentine coins. And there was the time he wanted to control all the animals of the world, clone a bunch of dinosaurs to do his bidding, etc. I seem to remember him wanting to carve a picture of his face into the moon with a big laser once? Been a while since I've seen that show, so don't quote me on this. Destro was always there to serve as the voice of reason. But there's only so much a guy can do.

You've got to consider the Transformers: Beast Wars version of Megatron. He was something else. The guy loved his energon hot tub. And he always had a little rubber ducky in there with him! He spoke in this cultured British accent. His voice was power personified, but the guy loved his ducky. He also had this habit of talking to himself.

Goofy now. He wasn't that disturbing, but I wonder what the hell happened to his wife? I mean, why'd he have to raise Max all by himself. Either his wife passed away, or one day she just had enough and left. "That's it Goofy! I'm sick of that laugh of yours and all the screaming! And you're always doing stupid things. Bye!" That'd be sad if his wife walked out on him. Maybe we should just pretend he adopted Max. Hmm... Or perhaps Goofy cloned him! Yep, took a trip to Kameno in the outer rim and ask for an unaltered clone of himself. Curious, isn't it?

Several people consider Spongebob Squarepants to be creepy. I think he's just a guy working at a fast food joint trying to make it in the world. The only character in that show with sanity has to be Squidward, his neighbor. And maybe Squarepant's boss, Mister Crabs. Although he is rather cheap. Patrick Star disturbs me the most, but he really means well.

The DC Animated Universe version of the Joker is also up there. And that incarnation will always be my favorite Joker. He's just so... manic! Oh dear God, that laugh. And Harley Quin's relationship with him also creeps me out a bit. I still don't understand what she saw in him. The DCAU version of Darkseid also stood out to me. I think he's one of the only cartoon characters I've seen who actually killed someone. Ok, you've got Megatron in the 1986 TF movie, but this is Darkseid we're talking about here. He wouldn't be Darkseid if he didn't off someone.

I also love the Simpsons. Mister Burns is creepy. Sideshow Bob has his moments. But the Simpson family is alright. Oh yeah, Ralph Wigum. The kid is sweet and all, but he's just not all there.

Am a fan of Futurama, but none of the characters have creeped me out yet. Sans Mom and her three boys. Nope, Bender's never disturbed me. I'd let him rob me blind any time! Because he's Bender and having your stuff stolen by him would be an honor. As long as he didn't steal my extensive DVD collection-- no I don't own Spongebob on disk, or my Star Wars stuff, we'd be alright. If that happened, I'd dis his cooking skills and call him a lousy folk singer.

One more. Utrom Shredder from the 2k3 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. The guy was so much darker than the 1987 version. Seems like this guy was more true to the comics. He doesn't just say,"Wretched reptiles," and retreat. He broke both of Mikey's legs, caused Leonardo to be stabbed via his adopted daughter Karai's sword, so on and so forth. Disturbing, yes. But that's my kind of bad guy.