Writer's Block: Grimm Question
Oh ha ha, Grim question. Very funny, LJ. I'm not sure what my favorite story would have to be. In some ways, Little Red Riding Hood. That kid must have been half blind not to notice that the wolf had beat her to her grandma's house and replaced her. "Oh granny! What like, totally big eyes you have and ears, and like, your nose! And is that a tail?"
"Oh no, uh. See uh, I have gigantism,ya little twit. I mean dear. That's what grannies call little kids, right? Mine always called me a menace and ran screaming from the room when I came in. Anywho, yeah uh, gigantism. I take uh, pills for that. And I like wearing this wolf nose because it scares away bad guys who like sneaking up on my little house... In the woods... In the middle of nowhere... Where no bad guys go because they'd be eaten. And I don't sound like your granny, I mean me, because uh, well I've always talked like a wolf. You have short term memory. Don't you remember?"
"Oh really granny? Wow! I like, totally didn't figure all that out until just now! te he!" Red always made me laugh. What's wrong with that kid? Far too trusting. Yeah, kids are trusting, but Red was just awful.
There was also this unabridged version of the 3 little pigs I liked. It had allot more to do with the third pig, the practical one. He met the wolf at the fair and escaped in this butter churn or something. Seems like tuns more stuff happened than in that goofy Disney book and cassette. I bet the practical piggy grew up to be a movie producer while his other brothers borrowed money from him and never gave it back. Practical pig was probably the only one who got married. The other two pigs? Man, I'd have let them beat on the door for a while. I mean, they laughed at their clever brother when he built a brick... house. Well, they laughed in a few versions of the story.
"Oh I'm sorry, is there someone at the door? hmm? Could it be two jerks who owe me a big freakin apology before I let them in? What? You see him getting closer? God, I hate it when you guys squeal like that! Stop it! Now get your butts in here since I'll have to save them yet again. What is this, like the 3rd time this week? Yeah yeah, quit with the "who's afraid of the big bad wolf song, guys. That was funny the other day, but all that la la la stuff. (Whispers) The other animals stare at you pointing and laughing.) You coming in or what? (Sigh)Wipe your feet, please. Were ya born in a barn? I'll get the trap ready for the big scary wolf, ya big babies." Hey, I wonder if the wolves in Red and 3little pigs were brothers? Or maybe father and son?
There are a few more stories I'd like to riff just because it's a rainy day and I'm in a rather riffy mood, but they're stories for another day. Yeah, Red and the 3 little pigs were two of my favorites.