tread softly

In my last post I wrote about leaving for Qatar, where I hoped to have better health.

Instead I almost died.

A lot of things happened that I'm too tired to rehash, but the worst was this. Starting in August and then intermittently until I left in December, the maintenance people at the compound we were living in sprayed pesticides. Repeatedly. Right outside our windows. By November I couldn't sleep, eat, or even move from a permanently hunched-over position on the plastic lawn chair I used for a bed. I became allergic to all of my bedding and clothes (from a washer contaminatedwith fabric softener). I was nauseous all the time. My skin was like a burn victim's, red and swollen and torn, oozing continuously. It was winter but I couldn't use any blankets. I couldn't make the plane trip but I was worsening every day.

My dad's company arranged for a medical evacuation by International SOS. My mom, sister and I left Doha (AKA Toxic Hellhole) on Dec. 2 to come to Dallas, TX where there is an environmental health center.

I wouldn't be able to describe the hell that was the next twenty hours, so I won't try. The first two months here I was pretty much incoherent with pain and sickness. I wanted to die. God, I wanted to die. For the first six weeks my mom had to feed me. I couldn't use my hands to grip the spoon.

I'm doing a lot better now, alhamdulillah. Alive again. I've learned so much, being here. The most important thing for me to do now is to detoxify myself from all the crap in my body (I have so much brain toxicity it's not funny) and get into a clean, safe house in a clean, safe city. It's going to be a long road back to health, and I'll never be normal, but I can regain enough health to live a full and useful life, by the grace of God. At the end of the week we are going back to our house in Houston, which hopefully will be okay for me, and I'll stay there for a couple of months while my parents figure out a safe house for me in the Toronto area (it's the only place I've lived that the air suits me).

I'm still very sick, but I'm grateful that I've passed out of the nightmare that was the first two months I came. Even now if I start thinking about it I get heart palpitations just from the memories. It's unbelievable what kind of suffering one can survive. I thought I was sick before, for the first four years.

I had no idea.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I hope you are all well.

Whew. It certainly has been a looong time since I've updated, as Sylvia so kindly let me know. :) Things have been crazy. Since August, I have moved houses 8 times, and from the US to Canada, back to the US and then to Qatar, a country in the middle east, where I am now. My dad got transferred here through his work for ExxonMobil. Since I got really sick in March and had to return to Houston, where I was also ill because of the environment, I decided to come with my family and stay with them for a year to rest and recover, after which I will return to Mississauga and continue at U of T. In the meantime I've arranged for online classes at U of Waterloo (in Ontario).

Qatar is certainly a very different place. I've started a blog about my experiences here, at http://landofblackgold.blogspot.com. Check it out. I will try to start updating this one as well though. Come back from the dead, so to speak. :P

I'm very tired, having moved last weeekend and shopped my poor little heart out this weekend (and not the fun kind. I've been buying toilet brushes, and doormats, etc.) and also having guests and cooking ang cleaning for them. Still haven't touched my homework. Which I'm going to do right now.

Don't have internet at home right now, and I walk around with this horrid feeling like I'm missing a vital part, which should probably worry me, but instead I just want my internet now! :P

But I love my new location, and my condo, which is very pretty. I like being responsible for myself - and having my own bed to sleep in - and PRIVACY - is a gift from heaven. And also my lovely parents, God bless them both. Though it's strangely quiet at home and at times I just have to get up and go to the library. (Which is right across the street. :D)

More later. I feel in a fog right now.

Finally! received all my marks for last semester.

Introduction to Historical Studies: A+
Critical Reasoning: A
Introduction to Language: B+

So.... my cumulative GPA so far is a 3.8.

I feel a lovely sense of relief. Such a pretty 90 I got! :P

gacked from slytherin_heart

1. Copy and paste this into your journal: <*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b>
2. Eliminate the asterisks.
3. Replace "yourusername" with your user name.
4. See what color you are

bleu_dauphin

Weird.... it's my favourite colour! *looks freaked out*

....yes, I'm bored. Will post a real entry soon.

Last night I finished with two out of three exams. My friends and I went to Popeye's afterward and got chicken sandwiches to celebrate. Yum.

During the night it snowed 10 cm. It was all pretty and bright at 3 am, the way it gets when the snow reflects the moonlight. I love being all snug and cozy inside when it's snowy and cold outside. With some hot chocolate and marshmallows, mm... that's an idea.

I'm thinking I should change my lj background from rain (Houston) to snow (Toronto). That's a good holiday project :D

My mom and my sister are coming on Tuesday! And my brother is coming on Wednesday! *does a happy dance, partly for sheer joy and partly because it's darn cold here* Am VERY excited. Because even though I have lots of relatives here (and they're very nice and wonderful, bless them all) there's nothing quite like your own lurvely immediate family.

I think we'll all go ice skating; I haven't skated in years, and I do so love skating. And my mom and I are going to see Pride and Prejudice together, because we love Austen. We bond over it. (But then we bond over everything, so...)

In REALLY awesome news, I think I'll be able to get the Expressive Writing class I've been pining for. It's such a popular class that it fills up within an hour of registration opening, and I need it if I'm going to major in Professional Writing (which I am) because it's the prereq for every other class. It was completely full, and I had almost despaired of getting it, but I called Fran at the PW dept, and she basically told me there was no chance for me to get in until the summer term. So I was rather disappointed.

An hour later she called me back, saying that she had just talked to the department head, and he's going to add another section in January, Tuesdays from 1-3 pm! Yes! And she took my name and student number, telling me she was about to send it to the Registrar's office and I should keep checking if it's up on the website, and sign up as soon as it's up. This is a very unexpected development, according to her, and no one knows a new section is coming out - I guess I'm the first to know! *squee* I'm so excited, I just hope I can get in.

(I quite like Fran. I think we will be friends.)

All in all, I'm feelin' pretty good! Alhamdulillah.

I have a HUGE paper due tomorrow for my history class - counts as my exam. Yes, I am procrastinating (actually I have it all planned out and halfway done - I'm just letting it stew for a while, because my mind needs a break).

In other news, my mom is coming to visit me in a week (YAY!) and my exams will be over on the 19th. Most of my exams will be over this thursday night, though. Which makes me happy because my Critical Reasing class this semester was a study in absurdity. Honestly, I felt like I had entered an alternate reality in which up was down and left was right. Such an incredibly in competent professor. The class average for our last test (worth 25% of our final grade) was 56%. And he had the nerve to yell at us for being such 'poor students'. Ummm, no. That's clearly a reflection on the professor.

Anyway, whatever.

Also, yesterday, I made this art for my story A Virtue of Necessity. It's called Penelope Grieving.

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Not feeling well this week, and also I got a gorgeous suit to wear for Eid (and for a stupendously good price!), but it turns out I can't wear it because it gives me a reaction. :'( So to cheer myself up, I will respond to a meme...

Ten Reasons Why I Like H/G (tagged by Sylvia)

1. because Harry likes girls with shiny hair
2. because they both have a personal bone to pick with Tom Riddle
3. because that moment in HBP when Ron nodded his permission to Harry was so perfect
4. because Harry has always noticed her
5. because Ginny can render him speechless
6. because he listens to her when she tells him off
7. because she understands, more than anyone else, what horrors he's going to face
8. because they're strong enough for each other
9. because it may be cliched and fairy-tale, but who deserves that more than Harry and Ginny?
10. because it's canon.

:) Sorry for stealing #9, Syl, but it was just what I was thinking.

It's bloody freezing here. 'S been raining for the last three days, overcast and windy and about ten degrees. But it's okay, I don't really mind the weather except when I'm waiting for the bus - brrr.

Had my history class today. Afterwards I went to an out-of-class lecture by a visiting professor. It was about Abu Bakr ibn Al-Arabi and Al-Andalus (Muslim Spain). Very interesting stuff. Basically his life story, and how he adapted to a change in regime right when he'd reached his majority, trained for a society that had disappeared. He went all over the Middle East after that with his father, learning from scholars like Ghazali in Baghdad and Jerusalem, before returning to Seville with an impressive education, as a jurist.

Other than that, I have Linguistics homework, blah... nothing too hard though. And tomorrow inshallah I'll go look at an apartment with Shimbi Khala, if the guy calls me back today.

It's a good thing I don't get SAD, I have to say. That would be brutal, living in Canada. My friend (another Fatima) has an aunt who gets really sick starting in the fall and through spring. Alhamdulillah though, cold's good for my skin. Except for when they blast the heat inside and it sucks all the moisture out of everything - that is rough.

Man, I need to update this more often.

So it's almost ten o'clock and I have an exam tomorrow, and my brain is dull with studying. School has been wonderful, Canada is beautiful, and everything else will turn out all right eventually. My parents are far away from me, but I talk to them every day or so. I feel blessed in my friends. And while my health is still trying to lead me around by the nose, it isn't succeeding as often these days.

I wrote this poem, a couple weeks ago, when I was having a frustrating morning:

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But, I'm feeling better now. :)