Hello. I'm new here. From what I'm getting out of this (after reading the info and some other posts) this is a place where people stressed out or just PISSED can post. Well, I want to add to that.
*clears out throat*
I'm 18. My name is Jes. I'm overweight, but happy. I've never had a boyfriend which doesn't bother me at all. Those are just a few things that make me upset. It's not about how I feel. It's about how everyone else feels.
I turned 18. I started smoking. My parents won't accept it. Even though they did it when they were 12 and younger. Do I want to quit? Sure. Am? Who knows? I'm such a good kid that I don't smoke in front of anyone. Not even my friends that do it. I didn't just start to start. I started because I was stressed out when my Uncle passed away and I was curious. My parents quit for a year and started at the same time.
I'm 18 years old. I think I'm pretty capible of making up my own mind. I don't need the folks running around telling me what I should be doing. I know what I should be doing and I'm doing it the best way I know how. Slow.
College is starting in September. But, because the financial aid office is always busy, I never get on to talk to my advisor. So, that means automatically...it's my fault. If I don't go to school, I never will. According to my parents, my family, friends, and the rest of the fucking world. Well, news flash to you all...I CAN DO IT! It might be hard, but I can.
Now to complain about the friends I have. Most of them I love. Though, Most of them I hate. My friend Bruce is one of them. He's gay. Is that a problem? No. Not at all. The problem is, he's a good looking gay guy who could have any girl he wants and knows it so he leads them on and then tells them "Sorry, Sweetie. I like cock.". He breaks their heart, then I have to hear about it. Because, according to him, it wasn't his fault. The girl was the one who couldn't take the hints. Well, WOAH! Maybe if you'd stop flirting with them, they wouldn't think anything of you. But, that's not a good thing. He has to have people think of him. That way, when he needs something, he can get it. Well, this is my story: Sunday we were supposed to go out for breakfast before I left to go see my cousin (who lives 2 hours away and wasn't sure when she was leaving for sure). Our plan was to go out at 10. That way, he could go and get something to eat before work and spend time with his "best friend". Sound bad? Nahhh. Not yet. If you knew me, you'd know I HATE HATE HATE last minute plans. Or, plans that are set at a specific time and then get changed to fit the OTHER persons schedule. Sorry, off track. Anyway, I called his house at 10 am. He wasn't even awake yet. So, I talked to his boyfriend while he was driving to work and stuff. Bruce had JUST jumped in the shower when he left. Which was about 11:00. Well, at about 11:30 Bruce comes to my house and asks me if I'm ready. I say I am. We walk out to his car, and he he's like "Here's the plan". I just sat there trying not to be pissed off. "We'll go to the New York Deli, get take out and eat at my work until 1. Then I'll take you home when Kyle comes in." That was it. I lost it. I got out of his car. Looked at him. Told him I was sick and tired of his last minute bullshit and slammed the door in his face. Haven't spoken to him since. But, this is the thing. I called one of his friends today (just to ask her were his boyfriend was because I have his library books at my house and they're 3 weeks late) and I found out that Bruce was telling a whole different story. I won't get into that story, but it was stupid. *sigh* That really hurt me like you have no idea. He and I used to be like brother and sister. We did everything together. Then, he got hot and I accepted that. He was Mr. Popular. He still spoke to me we hung out. It was good. Then, last summer we had a fight and I could have stopped talking to him then. But, he made me feel bad. So, I forgave him. The reason I wanted to go to breakfast with him was because we never hang out one on one anymore. So, I thought this would be good. Sit down at a resturaunt, catch up, laugh. NOT at his work where I have to hid in the back room so he doesn't get fired and so I can eat by myself. Am I wrong to be mad?
So my mum and dad are having a fucking fight over something or other, and I get woken up by someone slamming the kitchen door, which pisses me off. My sister apparently heard it too. So we're sitting in the living room, and I off-handledly mention it to my mum, who starts joking about it with me and my sister. It's all well and good and I'm thinking "it's good that I can say that it annoyed me, then hopefully it won't happen again." The she starts slagging off my dad, and me and my sister (who's only 11 by the way) just roll our eyes and walk out, a kind of "heard it all before" and she gets fucking pissed that we won't slag off my dad with her. Now we're being given the silent treatment, snide comments etc "I want some respect in this house" NEWSFLASH YOU FUCKING BITCH, RESPECT HAS TO BE EARNED AND SENDING ME TO UNI IN TEARS WILL NOT EARN MY FUCKING RESPECT! So she's fucking immature, and that's my fault. FUCK YOU I'M FUCKING 18 YEARS OLD, YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME ANYMORE! I earn my own fucking money, I buy my own clothes, my own uni books (some of which cost like £60 per book), I get into my own debt because I have no contribution from you. All I do in my house is sleep and use the internet. I don't even have dinner there, I either go to my boyfriend's or I buy a big lunch at uni and starve for the rest of the day. I'm fucking sick of this. You keep telling me I'm not a kid anymore, so don't treat me like one.
Thanks for listening.
okay well this is my first little rant, so stay with me here...
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! why is it that people who claim to care about you the most are the ones to kake you feel like crap!? my whole family is sooooooooo stupid! everything i do upsets someone and it's not cool! like last night my mom got upset at me because i was running a litte late, so the whole car ride there i got a lecture about how i am so irresponsible and how i dont care about anyone about myself and blah blah blah, and so when she came and picked me up, she was still mad! so i didn't say anything to here in fear of being lectured again, and when we get home she sas stupid little random comments like "don;t ask me for anything ever again" or "don't speak to, act like i don't exist" and i was like fine, whatever, and then she turns off the show i'm watching (which i watch every wednesday night at 10 30 because it is one of my favorite shows) and says "fuck you, you bitch" and walks away! i mean, i dont get it! people suck. one minute they are crying over you and telling you that they love you and buying you hings and taking you places, and the next minute they hate your guts. i wish people would choose a mood and stick with it! uuugggghhhh this sucks!
*thanks for listening, i know it wasn;t as bad as some of your problems on here, but this stuff really bothers me*
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- Current Mood
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aggravated
