I think of my inner Tara as pink.

Livejournal, though I have abandoned ye for the last year+, I would be remiss if I did not celebrate this journal's *10 year anniversary*, which is today.

One decade ago, a feisty 20 year old college coed sat down to a blank text box on her computer to spill her guts to the world (or at least a small corner of the internet). This journal has been many things to me: a diary, a fashion/food/friend photo blog, a political hitching post, and a place to explore my relationship to sex, love, friends, anger, joy, and life through words.

I've missed this thing as a place where I used to find such support and community, and I miss having so much of my dailies documented. But, I also don't miss the (self-created) pressure I used to feel to always have a story ready, and to let everyone in on my most intimate details.

They say that your 30s is all about coming into who you were meant to be. Last week, I rang in 30 in the Catskills with 10 cherished friends, old and not-so-old, and god was it wonderful. I felt so happy and truly at home with myself and the people I've chosen to have in my life.

I haven't written about it here, but this past year, and really, this whole Saturn Return has been so affirming for me. It started off with a nasty bang (remember The Lawyer?), but god have I changed (and for the better!) since that time. All is well and thriving in home, work, and love, and believe it or not, I feel that I owe a lot of that to this thing. And y'all, who have been there for me for the past 10 years if you can believe it!

In February, I read a piece at Queer Memoir about the worst of my worst date stories (remember Spongebob?), which was first born here.



So many of my best and most important stories live here, and I really do hope that this isn't the end of the line for this thing, but rather a step into something new that feels just as good and right as it used to.

Livejournal, most everyone (including myself) may have abandoned you, but goddamn do I have so much to thank you for. So, thank you.

You saw it here first!

I'll crosspost this to fatshionxchange tomorrow, but y'all get first chance at buying!

I only accept Paypal. Priority shipping in the U.S. ranges from $5-$8 depending on the weight or awkward shape of the item. I can calculate non-U.S. shipping online as well. Multiple items can be combined for $2 extra per item. Comment with your email, and I will invoice you!

Onto the sales! Click on any item to enlarge the photo.DRESSES

Are you a size 2/4/XS/S? My dumb ass shrunk this *gorgeous* one of a kind mint-condition vintage dress in the wash, and now it's for sale! Cream Jackie O/Mad Men-style wool dress with black stitching & button detail - Size 2/4/XS/S (B: 34 / W: 30 / H: 34) - $35


Black & white silk polka dot halter dress - size 18 (B: 50-52 / W: 40-46 / H: 66-76) - $22


Strawberry Shortcake thin cotton zip-front dress / (B: 45 / W: 47 H: 54) / $25

( Collapse )

Just about to end this long, tiring day in my new bedroom!

The movers were 2.5 hours late, but were two very sweet guys with whom I had lovely chats. One of them was an older man who was a social worker for many decades and got laid off, so is now working for this moving company. He was very sweet and father-like in a way that I actually found endearing instead of paternalistic. He made me promise to put up curtains so people couldn't peep at me and get a second lock because my door lock isn't all that strong. Heh. The other guy was in his early-20s and I think was flirting with me in this very shy sweet way. Several people in my new building randomly thought that we were together and welcomed us both to the building.

People were so friendly on both ends. The little kids who lived downstairs from me at the old place saw us moving stuff and offered to help. The youngest, who is about 9, brought a few things down until his father found out and flew into a fitful rage. I could hear him screaming at his son from a floor up, and heard him accuse the movers of being pedophiles. WTF?! Which is especially sad not only because it clearly isn't true, but also because the older guy was so sweet that when the kid first started helping, he gave me $4 of his own money to "tip" the kid so he could buy ice cream.

We also had a bunch of guys offer to help us in my new building, and a sweet little boy came up to me while I was waiting by the elevator with my stuff to ask me my name and if I was moving in.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that New Yorkers are mean!

Anyway, my body feels wrecked from all the lifting and bending and standing, but I couldn't be happier. I took my very first bath in my beautiful tub that was built perfectly for a leisurely soak. Did you know that in the 4 years I lived at my old place, I only took a bath ONCE? I have a feeling that this will change in my new apartment.

I really do need to get my curtains up, because people can see directly into my window, so no naked bedroom dancing just yet, but it will happen soon. Oh yes.

Many of us are Facebook friends, so this will be old news, but today is moving day!

I am *finally* moving out of my old place, which is out of the way and shared with 2 roommates, and into a new place, which is in a more centrally-located neighborhood and IT'S ALL MINE! Yes, I am finally living alone, and I could not be happier!

I have been so excited about this that I have barely been able to sleep! All I can think about is how tomorrow morning, I'll wake up in a whole new place, and I can do shit like walk around naked, not question whose mess it is in the kitchen, play loud music if I wanna, and indulge in all of my favorite Secret Single Behaviors anytime, anywhere. OH YES. Also, I'll now be walking distance from zcme instead of an hour away on public transit. Woohoo!

I took some photos of the place with my phone when I saw it for the first time. More pictures to come once I start moving in and my new home starts to take shape!



I think of all its features, I'm most excited about my fancy new kitchen, which includes a DISHWASHER, a rarity in your average NYC apartment. Be still my heart.

Anyway, today is moving day, and I can barely sit still I'm so excited! Off to throw my last few possessions in a bag and get my ass in gear!


p.s. Expect a massive clothing sale upcoming in the next couple of weeks!

Culinary School Co-Worker and I hung out yesterday and he decided to make chicken tomatillo stew with guacamole and homemade chips. Of course, I had to photo-document the entire thing.

(And yes, everything was as delicious as it looks.)


Tomatillos and jalapeños ready to roast.


We butchered our own chicken into 8 pieces.


The chicken, after being seared in the cast-iron skillet.


After the tomatillos and jalapeños were roasted, we sauteed some shallots and put them in the skillet with the chicken, some chicken broth, and a bay leaf. This simmered for an hour.
( Collapse )

I forgot to take pictures of dessert, but I brought a peach blueberry pie and some raspberry linzer cookies.

Did I also mention that it was all really inexpensive, and the meal actually cost us less than $20 to make?

Fuck, that was a good meal.

I've been on vaycay with my family for the past several days, and despite some worries about having to endure days on end of the battle of being fat in my family, things have actually been going pretty well. There's the usual amount of bickering, but what's a family if not for perfecting the twin arts of the snappy retort and the mile high eyeroll? That's normal.

On our first day here, we were greeted with a bit of a shock - my sister found a semi-automatic rifle in the dresser drawer of her room. It was the kind of gun that had a clip with room for more than a dozen bullets. In fact, there was a clip accompanying the gun with several bullets already in it. So, the kind of gun good for things like drive-bys and elementary school shoot-outs.



Did I also mention that my sister is staying in a room with 2 twin beds, meaning that the gun was nestled away in the drawers of a room where an actual child could have very well been sleeping? Theories about how said gun arrived here abound; my current favorite involves a criminal on the run who realizes that an out-of-the-way beach house on an island in Virginia is the perfect place to stash a gun after a wild crime-spree. It's an appealing theory, but probably only because I've been watching too many television crime dramas (*coughcoughBreakingBadcoughcough*). However, judging by the number of "I'm in the NRA and I vote" stickers on the cars here, Occam's Razor likely prevails.

But familial arguments and semi-automatic rifles aside, it's been a nice trip. I've been really stressed out at work lately, and a week off is just what the doctor ordered.




There have been margaritas on a dock at sunset, laying in the sun on the beach, playing in ocean waves, daily crabbing with the apparent endless joy of catching my food and eating it an hour later (who knew I'd enjoy such a thing?), rousing games of mahjong, bike rides in marshes filled with mosquitoes and other, more attractive wildlife like wild ponies, deer, egrets, and a tortoise that decided to cross the road.




Tomorrow, I head back up north with my sister and will get to NYC sometime in the early evening. As the summer comes to a close, I can't stop fantasizing about what the fall will look like. In my dreams, I see tights of all colors, $5 pashmina scarves, high-waisted skirts, crisp apples, root vegetables, and other kinds of new beginnings that have nothing to do with food or fashion.

Gotta go, y'all. There's a crab trap, an alcoholic beverage, and a sunset with my name on them.

How is summer already 2/3 over?

I'm still on a bit of a livejournal, Facebook, and general internet hiatus, but I'm alive! It's strange not to know what's going on with you people, but I have to say that it's actually been pretty relaxing when I'm not reading 100+ posts a day.

I fully intend to be back soon, so in the meantime, you're getting a mini photo travelogue instead.




1. San Francisco near Dolores Park.
2. Vancouver! L to R: Me, stitchtowhere, teanut, patonina & coco73.
3 & 4 - Doughnuts from Top Pot Doughnuts in Seattle!
5. Me & the knockout teanut.
6. Jett, Ridley & Me.

( Collapse )

Holy damn, friends, my birthday party was uh-MAY-zing!

At the smart prompting of TDR, I got my lazy ass up at 8am on Saturday to begin cooking and didn't stop until the guests started arriving around 7:30. Everything turned out marvelously! The pork shoulder was off the fucking hook - so tender and flavorful! The sweet potato coconut curry soup was pretty perfect (although I like it better with chicken broth, but needed to have some vegan options), and the garlic basil butter I made was probably my biggest hit. Folks also seemed to like the homemade kalamata pasta sauce that I made.

Oh! And my dessert was pretty fucking heavenly. I made these rich, yet fluffy lemon cupcakes and served them with strawberries and blueberries, and my homemade cardamom cinnamon whipped cream.

We all ate really well! Guests also brought some delicious treats of their own, including chicken from Popeye's (yeah, Tania!), veggie chili, homemade pate, homemade bread, and kale and arugula pesto.

Anyway, so it was just positively lovely to be surrounded by my awesome friends and my hot date all night. About 25 or so folks showed up and we really did it up right. I absolutely love it when my favorite people in the world get to meet each other, and many folks came up to me during the evening to tell me what wonderful people I have in my life. I agree. The DC crew came up to see me, and were in as fine a form as ever!

I also had two performances during the evening that kind of blew everyone away. Miasia belly danced for us, using her fans and sword. The looks on my friends' faces (especially the ones who had never seen her perform) were priceless. That girl has some fucking moves, and she wasn't shy about showing them to us.

She performed to two more traditional songs, showing us her floor work with her giant sword before launching into Missy Elliott's Lose Control, which everyone ate up like a sundae. She looked gorgeous in her beautiful green costume, which shook and shimmied with her hips. I think I had a permagrin on my face throughout her entire performance.

After Miasia, TDR did the most incredible strip tease for me EVER. I knew that she was performing and that it was going to be "messy," but she didn't really give me more details than that.

She walked into the room with a pizza box and my trenchcoat and ripped it off to reveal a pair of booty shorts, a vest, and suspenders. Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me began playing, and it was ON. I was so twitterpated that I began fanning myself immediately. She danced around, grinding on me and showing off for the audience before reaching into the pizza box and pulling out a bottle of gingerale. Which she shook vigorously and then (you guessed it), sprayed it all over herself. Later, she explained to me that it was a metaphor for our sex life. Haha!

At that point, my friends went wild. They had already been cheering her on, but at this point, they knew that they were in for a bit of a mess.

After the gingerale, she pulled out a can of whipped cream, pulled off the cap and handed it to me so I could (you guessed it), spray it all over her while she rubbed it all over her body. H-H-H-HOT.

And then, my friends, then came the crown jewel of the performance. TDR pulled a cupcake with a candle in it out of her pizza box, lit the candle, and put it on her back so I could take it. I think at that point, everyone in the audience let out a big Awwwwwwwwww! I think I did too. I took the cupcake while TDR danced around a bit more and then somehow, I ended up on the floor with her, rolling around in gingerale and whipped cream and half humping her while my friends roared with laughter. When the song finished, TDR came over to me, I picked her up and carried her off to my bedroom, which elicited a loud cheer from the crowd too.

Basically, it was probably the sweetest gift any lover has ever given to me, and seriously made my birthday feel even more special.

My god, I can't even express to you all just how wonderful it was to have an apartment full of people who I love and adore and who love and adore me back, eating delicious food and enjoying each others' company. As you all know, I'm such a birthday diva, and what I got was exactly what I wanted!

After the performances, the party started winding down, but a bunch of friends were sleeping over, so we stayed up for awhile, chatting and giggling and getting more intoxicated. We had originally intended to go out dancing afterward, but at that point, we were all a bit exhausted.

Yesterday was my actual birthday, and after brunch with TDR and my ladies, TDR and I have been hanging out in the 'burbs at her mom's house. In a few, we're headed to the beach near her house for a few before moving on to the next portion of the day. We're going to Spa Castle in northern Queens, a Korean spa that brags five floors, pools, waterfalls, fancy saunas (including one plated in gold!), a tv lounge, and a juice bar. And the best part? An all day pass is only $35! Ahhhh, I can't wait!

So yes, 29 has started out quite auspiciously. If it's true what they say about the beginning of your year representing how the rest of it is going to be, then I have a feeling that this year is going to be pretty damn wonderful.

Well, it's that time of year again!

In just 5 days, I turn the big 2-9, and I am pretty freaking excited about it!

This year, I'm just having one celebration on one coast, but it should be faaabulous. I'm having a lovely dinner party potluck at my place (NYC folks, come on by!), which is made even better by the fact that I finally bought a dining room table that I can put food on.

There will also be 2 dance performances, one by Miasia and the other by TDR (who will be wearing something very special and skimpy for the occasion). I also have my birthday dress on the way in the mail (thanks, Rachel Cupcake!), and a bangin' dinner menu planned. I'm going to roast a pork shoulder and get some homemade tortillas from the tortilla factory and some salsa verde to go with. I'll also be making my vegan sweet potato coconut curry soup and some vegetarian pasta with homemade pasta sauce. The signature cocktail is going to be pineapple juice with seltzer or champagne and a twist of lime. If I could get Meyer lemons, I'd do that instead of lime, but I can't seem to find them anywhere!

Oh, and for dessert, I'm going to make a modified version of strawberry shortcake with lemon cupcakes, a strawberry-blueberry mixture, and homemade whipped cream.

Fuck, I'm drooling just thinking about it!

But you know, not only am I excited about my party, I'm also excited to celebrate the end of one year and the beginning of the next. 28 was absolutely a growth year for me, sometimes painful, but mostly insightful and sorely needed. It felt Saturn Return-y, but not in a heartrending way. Emotionally, I changed and grew more during my 28th year than I did in probably the last 5 years combined. I feel happier and more healthy (mentally and physically) than I have in a long time, and I owe that not just to my own hard work, but also to the undying support of my beautiful friends and community.

And to conclude, here's my fantasy world capitalistic birthday wish list for all you wannabe sugar parents out there:



An oceanside villa, please. Which ocean is negotiable (except for maybe the Arctic).

Spring is endless brunches with good friends. Spring is feeling the pink blush of a blossoming romance. Spring is laying in the park with your new sweetie, listening to The Smiths on the same ipod, one earbud in your ear and the other in hers. Spring is finally feeling the sun on your skin. Spring is breaking out your favorite new outfit and putting away the goddamned boots. Spring is sipping your iced coffee on the sidewalk and walking, not driving, to your destination. Spring is turning another year older and sometimes, another year wiser. Spring is the hardest laughter your belly can muster. Spring is dreaming up the wildest, most ambitious plans you can think up, and believing that you can actually make them happen. Spring is driving down the highway with the windows down on the bluest day of the year, looking at the water sparkling to your right, the looming bridge ahead, and nearly crying from the beauty of the moment. Spring is one beautiful moment after another. Spring is holding hands at the movies and whispering jokes to each other throughout. Spring is opening windows and relishing the cool gusts of air on your chest. Spring is letting go of your rough winter skin and letting your softest insides peek out, just a little bit at a time.


Spring, I'm feelin' you.