sooo.....tired.....

I did yoga Monday and Tuesday and then fizzled out. Also picked up my mother-in-law from the facility she was at on Monday. She seems a lot better.

Wednesday PMS hit me really hard and I went thru my closent in a furry trying to find something decent to wear.

Thursday I got some new clothes.lol..i like to sew so im going to get some fabrics and make some smashing skirts. i'd also like to make a new purse. i like diy.

Today I have a date! Its with another mom I met on cafe mom. so, if i never post on here again thats what happened to me...
  • Current Mood
    tired tired

2 poems from 2003

gnawing
I will swat it away like a pesky fly
still-it chews making me bleed and cry out in pain
there is no fleeing from this,
loneliness

Rip off another calender
cross off another day
the clock keeps ticking
hours pass
baby, your still alone.
pathetically waiting
pausing
clearing
pondering
"That was a beautiful sunset" you pretend while you watch it, someones there..
When you turn though-the room is empty
You dreamed the other night-you found her.
15 years ago you would have cried
but now with age you're calloused
you wipe the sleep out of your eyes
and with it you wipe away the dream.

another week

Another week has gone by. They seem to go by so quickly these days. Adam has been on vacation this week. Alex has been wild most days. Babies are sensitive I think. Any little change in their routine or add in another person and its so much stimulation for them. He doesn't want to nap these days, he will take 30 min naps.

We started doing some yard work. I picked up some petunias and some gerber daisies. I didn't know gerber daisies come up every year. Adam sawed down the huge shrubs in front of the house so now we have a giant flower bed. I want to plant perennials mostly in there.

We started seeing a few black widows inside and out!! So Wed we had grandma watch Alex and we went around spraying like mad. Of corse it won't kill the spiders ;( we couldn't find anything that would, perhaps just cutting down on the insects will deter them from entering the house. Also have to seal up some places were they can possibly get in. I had never even seen a black widow before now. Creeps me out. Im on the lookout for them though. Didn't think I would be able to sleep after finding a couple in the house but the next day I felt better. Don't think they mess with humans unless you mess with them.

So this week I've been doing some art. I have so many hobbies that I've created a rotating weekly schedule. The other hobbies I can work on while Alex is awake but sketching and painting I have to wait until hes asleep for the night. I've completed almost 2 paintings so far and have another sketch on a canvas panel for when the other is done. I think this is really a good idea. Giving myself only a short slot to work in I can extend my energy knowing I will have a break in a few days. Not sure if the work is actually as hard as I imagine it is or if its because of psychological barriers i have created for myself. Possibly too by the end of the day if Alex has been wild and its been a heavy cleaning day-I am just worn out.

My sister in law stopped me when I was over at my parents. she said she had a bunch of baby clothes for me. that was the first time she has talked to me in over a year. I miss her and my 4 neices/nephews.

Been a long time

Heres some pictures of my little pumpkin..I don't have much time these days-we were hit pretty bad by the ice storm..we didn't have power for 6 days and 12 hours. we were really cold until Adam cleaned out the wood burning stove and brought it in and when the stores opened up and we could get Kerosene..Little Alex is 4 1/2 months.





New artwork

I apologize for the dark areas on them, this happened while scanning them since they are too big to be scanned right..but you get the idea, i have two more to complete for a total of 10 before i will begin painting each one..im pretty nervous about it since i haven't painted anything in a while..