PLAGIARISM

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

Lemme get a little sippy

saw this post & blacked out for 30 minutes & came back to awareness having had created this. the creative urge overtook me.

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

Spot. The difference.

To the bold ff.net user in 2013 who tried to write Moby-Dick from the whale’s perspective, please get back here you were cooking

diet culture is so evil like. an older woman friend said to me (in response to me saying my gf isn't really into chocolate) "i WISH i didn't like chocolate" like. do you wish you didn't have skin to feel a summer breeze. do you wish you didn't have eyes to see the sunrise

thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there

gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles

I didn’t know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.

The Call of C'thchoochoo.

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

New discourse quotable dropped

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

How do cats just manifest trash. You’ll vacuum your entire house and turn around and your cat will be running around with a kind of cardboard that didn’t exist until two seconds ago.

Can’t believe my job makes me do my job on the days I am scheduled to work my job what the fuck