Breakthrough English! (food for your grey cells)

Hi!!!
i'd be so eternally greatful if anyone could help me!!
i have this list of British idioms (apparently.. at least i think that's what they are)
could someone help me with the definitions? a general idea of what it means would be fine! (because i need to translate them x_x)

it's over here

it's probably a piece of cake for all of you x_x
please, just take a look?

 Hello Brits!
I have just finished my first assignment for the University. I study Education and I had to outline the development of children's reading and to recommend a book for a young reader, chosen from the list. (2000 words).
I am not a native speaker and I am looking for some kind person to correct my possible mistakes! 
Be so grateful, if you feel your English is strong enough, help me please ;)

I will be a good friend of yours for the rest of my life, I promise!!!!
Sincirely,  Maria.

Good evening dear members of the "b_english" community!

I am a student from Latvia - a small country on the shore of the Baltic sea. Actually, I'm writing a coursework in English about English idioms, comparing them with their Russian equivalents. Indeed, my work is going to contain some of the aspects of modern colloquial English and the usage of idioms in it. So, could you please help me a little bit, and write what idioms are mostly used in your every-day language,(somehow connected with animals) what do they mean and what is your attitude towards using them.

Thank you very much for your attention!
Best regards from Maria.

I've always admired Japanese people and not without reason. Just look what they did to the simplest Windows messages

In Japan, they have apparently replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry. With their strict construction rules (each poem has only 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third), Haikus are used to communicate timeless messages, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

• The Web site you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist.
• Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
• Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.
• Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
• Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.
• Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
• Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.
• A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
• Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred.
• You step in the stream, But the water has moved on. This page is not here.
• Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will.
• Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

I'm still feel Mondayish and thinking hard about things like how not to be a sguire peg in a round hole.Maybe by using some sophisticated techniques?

New Job Interview Techniques
Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche.

If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the Help Desk.

If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.
If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests,
Public Relations would suit them well.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team.

If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

I've tested myself, the results were ...um... surprising

Hallo. world of English lovers, English diligent users and maybe English haters!
Breakthrough English just landed upon your livejournal territory.

So what?

Why Breakthrough English?

English -cos I live and breathe it and Breakthrough -cos it's all about skyrocketing, breaking all limits and making the most of the language. And it's all about Business English. But I don't mean that castrated English you find in textbooks, but more of a 'sky-is-no-longer-the-limit" approach.

Who said Business English is dull rules, 200 "most frequently used words" and the stuff like this?
Business English is a dynamic, burning ocean.
Business English is more you can imagine
Business English in a breaktrough way ia a shockwave, energy materialised, a communication weapon, a verbal dance.
As I've already experienced; Use it creatively and it will pay you back!

Let's this place be a home for everything (from idioms, psychological tip to jokes)linked with high-gear Business English for high-octane people. Agreed?
But first some funky business idioms for you. ( Collapse )